


2B and Not 2B

by My_Dear_Watson



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-02
Updated: 2014-07-30
Packaged: 2017-11-27 21:24:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 47,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/666653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Dear_Watson/pseuds/My_Dear_Watson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Darcy knew three things. One, her and Jane's black-haired new neighbor had a nice butt. Two, his brother was probably on steroids. Three, she was going to befriend them if it killed her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The New 2B Crew

Bang. Thump. Skid.

Darcy Lewis growled and jammed her finger into the power button on the television remote. She was done hearing what she had grown to assume was a couple having sex against her and Jane's apartment's front door. She was sick having to turn up the volume on the television to ignore it, and it was their door, damn it. The lovebirds could go elsewhere to carry on. She ignored the pleading look Jane sent her and headed down the hallway. "Can you people learn to shut up? It's girl's day in, damn it!" She undid the two locks and yanked the door open. She didn't all expect to have someone's back come falling into her a moment after she did so.

Darcy scrambled back and gawked as the person- _man_ , she mentally corrected, as his back connected with the wooden floor. She looked down as he looked up, green eyes wide and black hair now quite discheveled. Darcy merely blinked at him, then looked back outside, where a couch was now half on the ground, half lifted by a tall, muscular man with long, blonde hair. He was blinking right back at her and gaping like a fish out of water.

The blonde man finally found his voice. "Uh, sorry, we're just moving in across the hall here, and we couldn't get the damn couch across without leaning on the door, and…" He trailed off.

Jane came running into the hallway. "Darce, what was…?" She spotted the man on the floor, and then the one a couple of feet from the doorway. Her eyes lingered on the one in the doorway for a few more seconds. She paused, then made quick work of tucking her hair behind her ears and straightening her shirt. She offered a sweet smile in the blonde's direction. "Hi…"

The blonde wore a similar expression. "Hi…"

Darcy watched the two exchanging googly eyes. She rolled her eyes and was about to cut it off, when a different, but not unwelcome interruption came from the floor.

"Um, excuse me. Man  _still_  on the floor, and if I get up myself, my head would be in a rather… inappropriate area om the lady, so…"

Darcy quickly jumped out of the way, and the black-haired man pushed himself up off the ground, muttering an apology. He straightened himself out, only to kneel back to pick up his end of the couch that had fallen when he did to survey possible damage.

Darcy took that moment to tilt her head and appreciate the view provided. If Jane could gawk, so could she. _He rocks those jeans._ She thought with a cheeky grin.

"Looks alright, by some miracle. No scratches…" He reported. "No need for a lawsuit or anything…" He added under his breath.

"Lawsuit? Oh, no!" Jane cut in, to the man's displeasure. "We wouldn't do that to new neighbors, would we, Darce?"

Darcy snapped out of her observation time and shook her head. "Naw, it happens all the time." She agreed. "So you guys are the new 2B people, huh?"

The black-haired man nodded and rose to his feet, and the blonde offered a vocal "Yes."

Darcy put her hand out. "I'm Darcy Lewis," She jabbed a finger in Jane's direction. "This is-"

"Jane Foster," Jane cut her off before she could finish, still staring at the blonde with a wide smile.

Darcy noted the black-haired man arch an eyebrow at Jane, then at the other man, then at Darcy herself, and he let the other eyebrow raise. Darcy shrugged in response.

The blonde put down his end of the couch and slid around it to offer his hand. "Thor Odinson." He shook hands with Darcy, then Jane, smiling at Jane's small little giggle, but still seemed oblivious to the girl being taken by him so quickly. Instead, he took it as a reaction to his name. "Yes, well, my brother and my parents had some… specific interests."

The black haired man chuckled in agreement. "I'm Loki, the brother in question. Fitting in our situation, isn't it?"

Jane finally snapped out of her state. "… Wait, like, seriously, Thor and Loki? After…?"

Loki nodded. "Mm hm,"

Thor held out his hands and imitated the sound of thunder, with a nod of his own before he offered another smile.

Jane shrugged. "Could've had worse names."

Loki smirked. "Try having the names before you say that." He offered. After the comment earned a few seconds of silence, he nodded, looking at the couch. "Right, well, sorry about this. We better continue with this, then," he turned his attention back to the young women. "Do excuse us. I'm sure we'll see you around, being neighbors and all." He lifted his end of the couch.

Thor, taken aback by his brother's bluntness for a moment, scrambled to the other end. "Ladies, nice meeting you." He called before having to keep up with Loki's pace out of the apartment.

Darcy waited for them to get past their problem with her door, then shut it. "Well, that first goodbye was rude." She mused. "That guy had a nice ass, though."

"Yes he did," Jane nodded.

Darcy glared at her. "The other guy. The one on the floor. Not Gigantor."

"I didn't notice- and why was he on the floor, anyway?" Jane asked.

Darcy shrugged. "Gravity."

Jane stared at her for a moment, then laughed. "Okay, then."

Darcy nodded. "Can we please get back to the movie? I wanna that one guy blow up again!"

Jane rolled her eyes. "I think your love of pyrotechnics should worry me…"

"Says Miss. Science." Darcy replied. "Now, let's get back to the movie where vampires kill people," Before Jane could protest further, Darcy grabbed her friend's hand in order to drag her back into the living room, but not before examining the area where the couch had fallen and Loki had checked for damage. There was something damn near unsettling about that man, and she had no issue letting him have it if he had lied about scratches or anything on their floor. However, as he had said, there was no damage on the floor, so she simply nodded, satisfied. Maybe she would give them a chance, after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Changing apartment to condo, because that would make more sense with the numbers I put, and the layout in my head, so don't yell at me about that XD. This chapter also starts the random appearances by some of the Avengers, starting with Clint, because I miss my grocery store customer who looks like Jeremy Renner and writing Clint actually helped. The more you know. Anyways, glad you all liked it, and keep up those reviews!**

* * *

Jane sighed heavily when she entered the apartment and spotted Darcy staring out of the front window. "... You know, you're only going to creep them out if they see you staring," she pointed out, putting her bag on the back of the doorknob. She collapsed into the chair.

"Oh, I'm sorry, who couldn't stop giggling like an idiot when she saw tall, fair and handsome," Darcy replied, then went back to being the not-so-casual observer, only leaning back when Loki came walking around the corner. "… That Loki guy is a miner, mechanic or terrorist, and Blondie's a lumberjack."

"Terrorist? Really?" Jane sighed.

Darcy shrugged. "Hey, if you saw him come home covered in soot or some shit and looking really, really angry, you'd think so too," she shot back and turned back to the window. "… Shit, he's coming over here!" She practically threw herself down to the floor to avoid being seen as the Peeping Tom. She waited for Loki to pass by the window before she shot to the door. She waited about ten seconds after Loki rung the bell to open it. "Hi!" She greeted cheerfully.

Loki blinked at her, surprised at her tone, and then seemed to remember he was on a mission. "Right, um, sorry to disturb you, but you two are the only ones we know who live here, and Thor and I aren't used to the ovens, and his friend Clint is a moron, and… I have no idea why I'm telling you all these details. Long story short, I'm here to ask for something at least resembling tomato sauce, because we burned the coupleof cans we bought."

Darcy paused for a second, then laughed. "A, that's awesome, you say it 'tom-ah-to', and B, isn't the cliché that you ask for sugar or flour or something and not sauce?"

Loki frowned and looked damn near indignant before he collected himself. "Yes, well, Thor and I don't really have a good relationship with baking anything either, so…"

"Oh, calm yourself. I'll do you one better," Darcy replied.

Loki opened his mouth to ask what she meant, only to have the door slammed in his face. He stared at the surface for a while, then sighed. "Well, that was  _rude._ "

A couple of moments later, Darcy came out with a jar of sauce in hand. "Alright, 2B. Let's go make you some dinner."

Loki gawked at her. "Wha- no, we're fine making it, it's just that I think I figured out the oven and we just needed a new one. I mean, we'll pay you for it later, and-"

"Shut it. It's called karma. Now…" She went over to his door, and went right in, without even waiting for him.

Loki stopped to gawk once again, wondering what the young woman must've been smoking to do that without so much as asking permission. He sped up, figuring it probably wouldn't end too awkwardly if he was a foot or two behind her instead of ten feet when they got back in. Otherwise, he really didn't want to hear Clint making jokes about 'the crazy neighbors who break and enter even if people are in the house' like he had in the last place they had shared. Damned crazy Vorstagg. He stopped once again when he started to smell something burning, coming from inside their house.

Darcy turned to him. "How much stuff did you say you burned?"

"Damn it!" Loki growled, heading for the kitchen. "Thor!  _Barton!_ " She turned sharply to see the windows of the kitchen were wide open, and Thor was trying to wave smoke out of them, as the man who was apparently Clint beat a dishtowel against a visible flame that was coming from one of the pots. "Damn it!" He repeated, glancing at the fire alarm in the middle of the living room. Probably kicked out of the complex for a fire on their first day- well, that was a record. Usually it was at least three months.

Darcy put her hands up. "I'll handle that, you help them! Bathroom's same place as ours?"

"I would think so?" Loki replied, before heading into the kitchen and all but shoving Clint aside. He took the pan off the stove and transferred it into the sink.  _Well, at least the other two managed to turn off the burner._ He turned the faucet on and let the water take care of the flame and helped Thor guide the steam out of the window.

Once most of it was gone, Loki sighed and looked at his brother and… semi-friend.

Clint hesitated, then ever so slowly started grinning.

Loki flinched, sensing what was coming.

"We didn't start the fire," Clint replied, still grinning.

"No we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it," Thor added with an embarrassed grin of his own.

Loki rolled his eyes. "I hate you all…" He muttered. He glanced back, remembering there was supposed to be someone else with them. He spotted Darcy taking a wet towel off of the fire alarm- where she had apparently tossed it. "Thank you, I guess."

"Mm hm," Darcy nodded. "Now, you boys shut the Hell up and stay out of the kitchen for now. Let me be a kickass neighbor and make it before you burn down both of our places."

Clint smirked and opened his mouth.

Darcy pointed at him. "You make a 'women belong in the kitchen' joke, and I'll rip your balls off," Darcy challenged.

Clint tried to look innocent. "I didn't say anything!"

"Face it. The lady knew you were going to," Loki replied.

Darcy beamed at the fact she had someone on her side, and then realized that the (hopefully) jokingly sexist man was a stranger. "Hey, you live with these two?"

Clint shook his head. "Nope. Just a friend of Thor. I live further downtown in the city. The boys asked if I could help them get unpacked and all that. Clint Barton, at your service," He offered his hand.

"Darcy Lewis," Darcy shook his hand.

The four turned when there was a knock on the door. In all the confusion, they had completely forgotten they had left it open. Jane was in the entryway, smiling hesitantly.

"Um, hi. Everything okay? I could've sworn I heard yelling," she pointed out.

"Eh, a little trouble with the oven and my brother overreacting. Everything's fine, Neighbor," Thor replied, waving at her.

Jane smiled and nodded.

Clint looked between them. "Wait,  _she's_  your  _neighbor, too_?" He scoffed. "Damn, boys! Where the Hell do I sign up to move into one of these places as soon as I can? The city can go screw itself, in this case."

Loki rolled his eyes. "Down, boy. We don't want to scare the ladies away so quick."

Darcy snorted. "Please. That's goddamn charming compared to some things I've heard. She looked at Clint. "But be lucky you're adorable,"

Clint shrugged. "So I've been told,"

"And how drunk were the ones who told you?" Loki cut in. When he winked at Darcy when she smiled in response, Clint just rolled his eyes.

"You're just jealous," Clint replied playfully.

Loki chuckled. "Yes, jealous of the sarcasm that I have more of than you ever will,"

Clint smirked. "I will make you love me one day, Loke."

"Mm hm," Loki dismissed.

Clint laughed, then turned to Jane and Darcy. "Let's see, Darce- can I call you Darce? And, Little Miss Gorgeous over there-"

"Jane," Jane cut in, blushing a deep red.

"Right, Darce, Jane. Let me tell you something about my boys, here. They may come off as sarcastic assholes at first- well, Loke here does, anyways, Thor not so much, but you learn to love them. Don't let them scare you off."

"We'll keep that in mind," Jane replied. "Now, I just came to check and make sure everything was okay. I really have to get back to work. Working in Science sucks sometimes."

Clint shrugged. "I wouldn't know, sorry. I just get to shoot people on occasion."

"What?" Jane's smile dropped.

Thor cut in. "He's SWAT, that's all. Are you sure you can't stay? I mean, we did have to take something of yours-"

"I wish. Raincheck, though. Promise," Jane replied. "I didn't say that Darcy had to leave, though."

Darcy looked at the men. "I think I'm good. Too much testosterone if I do. I will tell you that these ovens usually go like, fifty degrees above what it's supposed to be, though. Crazy, but, yeah, try that, and you should be A-OK. Sauce is on the couch."

Loki nodded. "Alright, we'll try it."

Darcy did a double=thumbs up before heading out.

After a few seconds, Clint grinned. "Huh. They're weird. I like them."

"Yeah?" Thor smiled. "So do we."

* * *

* * *

Sure enough, Darcy's instructions worked out. The boys managed to make the meal without burning the condo down, or at least causing it to smoke. The couple of hours afterward turned uneventful fast, so Clint called it a night and went home. When the doorbell rang around eight at night, Loki was prepared to meet Clint at the door with an insult about forgetting whatever it was the other man might've forgotten. However, Clint wasn't standing in the doorway when Loki opened it. A small cardboard box lay on the mat, marked "To: The People Who Need to Be More Oven Savvy , From: Half of the Awesome Condo." Loki opened it, and chuckled when he saw it was a few muffins. A note was resting on top of them. He didn't really have to read it to know who it was from, but he read it anyway.

_To 2B-_

_Because you guys apparently suck at baking, and deserve a housewarming gift that doesn't include that kinda-douchey-but-loveable friend of yours… or Thor's… whatever. Hey, that rhymed._

_From,_

_Darcy, A.K.A the One Who's More Fun to Get Drunk With_

_Toodles._

Loki shook his head and picked up the box, carrying it inside. "Hey, Thor, the girls made us part of breakfast- or something for tonight, knowing you!" He called. He stopped and laughed again. It had barely been twenty four hours, but he was already referring to them as 'The Girls.' Maybe having them as neighbors wouldn't be as bad as he originally thought.


	3. Chapter 3

 

One week later found Darcy in her workplace, trying not to fall asleep. Why she had ever agreed to starting secretary work at seven a.m, she would never know. Then again, who the Hell made people do secretary work that early? Oh, right. Tony Goddamn Stark. The man owned at least two thirds of the city. He was Donald Trump- with better hair and a better sense of humor. She had only seen Tony face-to-face two times- once when he was 'bored and in the area', and once when the building was losing money because the businesses inside were falling apart. Being that she took calls and intercepted people going to any one of the… fifteen or however many things there were in the building, she was the 'lucky' lady that got to sample the man's wit- well, one of them, anyway. Which reminded her, where the Hell was her other partner in crime? Sure, it was pouring rain outside, but that never seemed to stop her coworker friend. The girl had been on vacation the past week, though. Maybe she decided to extend it.

No sooner did Darcy have that thought when a tall, leggy blonde came storming in through the main doors. Once she was inside, she turned sharply on her heel and pointed at the taxi outside the door. "SCREW YOU, ASSHOLE. YOU SPEED AND WEAVE AND NEARLY GET US KILLED FIVE TIMES AND EXPECT ME TO TIP YOU? HERE'S A TIP- QUIT WHEN YOU STILL CAN!" She screamed.

Darcy grinned. That was Barbara Morse for you. If she wasn't happy, she was sure as Hell going to make people aware of it. She remembered when she started working in the Stark building. She had hated Barbara at first, mostly because she apparently embodied all of the girls who took pride in bullying her in school. Barbara- Bobbi, 'B;, or Babs to her friends, had long blonde hair, she was skinny as a twig, tall, leggy, and short-shorts worked for her. However, as time went on, Darcy came to the age-old realization appearances could be deceiving. Bobbi was far from one of those high-school-brat types. She was a tomboy at heart, and always had an insult of her own against the people who would dare to insult her or Darcy if they were together. Bobbi had even delivered a mean right hook to some man's jaw after he called Darcy a whore just because she followed orders and hadn't let him upstairs to the lawfirm he was banned from. The punch had ended up with Bobbi being nearly fired, but somehow the decision had landed on Tony Stark. The man had simply asked her side of the story after hearing the police's, and when she told it to him, he offered an appreciative smirk, shook her hand, and told her to 'get the Hell back to work.'

Bobbi huffed and walked over to the vacant desk. "Hey, Darce."

"Hey, B. Bad day so far?"

"What was your first clue?" Barbara replied. "So, I've been gone for a week. What's new?"

"Couple of hot new neighbors and their sidekick." Darcy replied.

"Oh? You and Jane call dibs yet?" Bobbi asked.

Darcy shrugged. "Jane seems smitten with one… the other one… eh, he's cute but it's like he has a pole up his ass, and the sidekick… I don't even know."

"Then when can I come over to investigate?" Bobbi asked, putting her elbows on the desk and leaning forward eagerly. "I need a man in my life."

"You mean you didn't meet anyone on vacation?" Darcy asked.

Bobbi shook her head. "I know. Such a surprise." She sighed, then laughed. "Come on, I'm not that easy."

Darcy smirked and opened her mouth, and had to duck a stapler for her trouble.

"You're lucky I love you." Bobbi replied.

Darcy merely stuck her tongue out at her friend, before her conscious, along with a disapproving look from an angry-looking man in a suit that passed by made her go back to work.

* * *

For Jane, seeing the old Mycroft building across from her lab being worked on was a bit of a shock. The bigger shock- seeing one of the construction workers was Thor. She wasn't sure whether to laugh or roll her eyes at the irony of seeing him with a hammer, considering his namesake. She was starting to wonder if the brothers tried a little too hard to be like the Gods. She sighed. Her day was over, she was bored, and he looked like he had that in common with her as he swung idly at a nail that didn't seem to want to go in. "Hey, Neighbor!" She called, crossing the street.

Thor turned sharply to see the source of the voice. He scanned the street quickly, then smiled upon seeing the woman he had taken a shine to. "Jane! What're you doing here?"

Jane pointed at the lab. "Scientist, remember?"

Thor glanced at the lab, then shrugged and raised the hand with the hammer in it. "Construction workers aren't known for their smarts." He replied, then rolled his eyes when a couple of his coworkers had spotted Jane talking to him and resorted to wolf-whistling. "Exhibit A, I'm afraid."

Jane laughed. "Hey, when do you head home? I'm not in the mood to cook. Can I take up that raincheck?"

Thor checked his watch. "An hour, and sure." He turned back to the nail and finally managed to get it into the wooden plank all the way.

Jane couldn't resist anymore. It was just too perfect. "You guys really don't hesitate to add more connections between the Gods of Thunder and Mischief, huh?"

Thor laughed. "Well, come on. Our last name's Odinson, our parents were Mythology nuts enough to name us that… at least Loki and I are full-blood siblings."

Jane smirked. "You sure about that?"

Thor grinned and shook his head. "I assure you our parents wouldn't be that cruel to keep it from us into adulthood."

Jane shrugged playfully, accepting that as an answer. She looked away, only to spot a bus- the one she was supposed to be taking home- driving right past the stop. "… No! No, no, no!" She started running down the sidewalk without another thought.

It was Thor's turn to question the propriety of laughing when the woman stopped after reaching the corner and turned sharply, marching back over to him. "That was your ride home, huh?"

"Yeah…" Jane sighed, crossing her arms over her chest.

Thor nodded, then looked up at the six other men in the area. He spotted his supervisor. "Hey, Hank! You mind if my friend stays here 'til we're done? She's gonna need a ride home."

Jane blushed and waved when Hank looked at her, said, "You mean we get to oogle that one more? That's just fine," and went on with his work.

Thor playfully flinched. "Exhibit B…"

Jane chuckled. "Thank you."

"Uh huh. Hope you don't mind the 'ride' in question is Loki picking us up. My motorcycle's in the shop."

Jane tried not to stare. He had a motorcycle? She knew if Darcy was there to hear that, she would've had heart failure, right there on the sidewalk. "Not at all. Oh, and since we were on the topics of jobs and all that, Darcy wants to know what Loki does, since she's too difficult to ask him."

Thor smiled again, going to work on another nail. "He has a bunch, really. His main one, though? Pyrotechnics in showbiz."

Jane's eyebrows shot up. "Really?"

Thor shrugged. "The man likes explosions."

Jane smiled yet again. "Well, you just disproved, then brought back Darcy's theory that he's a terrorist."

Thor pointed at the side of his head. "Is she all there…?"

"I ask myself that same question every day." Jane replied. "He's not a magician or anything?"

Thor smirked. "Well, at our little cousins' birthday parties…"

Jane rolled her eyes. "You guys are ridiculous."

"We prefer 'proud.'" Thor replied.

* * *

Forty-five minutes later, Jane still wasn't sure if Thor was being completely honest with her about Loki's job. That was, until Loki drove up in a green sports car. She concluded that it was big-budget show business he was involved in… or he was a hitman, like Darcy had suggested three days prior when she had seen Loki come in more dirty and angry-looking than the first time she noticed. She decided to put that thought aside, because, she was getting into the man's car with just him and his brother, after all.

They made it back, and were surprised to see Darcy leaning on her and Jane's condo's front wall, while Clint was kneeling in front of the door, fiddling with the lock.

Darcy waved and offered a look that was half guilty, half bored. "Yo. Got locked out, called Clint because I thought he could get you guys to come to help or see if your key worked or something…" The bored look faded into an impressed one. "Turns out he knows how to pick locks!"

"You gave him your number before you gave your neighbors your phone number?" Loki blinked, then looked at Jane. "I'll get a locksmith's number so you won't have to worry about this one breaking in."

Clint arched his back so he could look at them while finishing picking the lock. "No worries, ladies. I won't rob you. I'd only rob your two _fine_ neighbors," He winked and waggled his eyebrows for good measure before returning to fiddling with the lock.

Jane nodded, not at all sure whether she could take his word for it. "I have the key, anyway…" She replied. "I'll get it." She offered.

Clint smiled and stood up, taking a couple of steps back to accommodate her. He looked at the others. Thor and Darcy shrugged as if to say 'you tried', and as usual, Loki looked like he wanted to cause him physical harm. "… Right, well, I almost had it, and all your spoils, but… I can tell when I'm not wanted here, so…" He mock-saluted, turned on his heel, and headed for the parking lot.

When Jane opened the door, she looked at Loki. "Look, I'm sure he's a good guy and all. I mean, he seems like it, but…"

"I'll be over with the number in about five minutes. You know what? Just give me yours. Actually, why don't we all exchange numbers? It may help prevent this from happening… and keeping Clint out of jail."

Darcy laughed, but pulled her phone out. "What do you have against that poor guy?" She asked, passing hers to Thor and taking Loki's when Jane handed it over.

"We don't have enough time in the day to explain that," Loki replied. Jane took the phone from him and entered her number as she fished her own out to have him do the same.

Once the four numbers were exchanged, the two pairs parted ways.

Within a couple of hours, Loki had order food in and headed up to his room, having absolutely no desire to bear witness to Thor flirting with Jane, probably horribly. However, if the near constant laughter coming from downstairs was any consollation, his brother must've been better at flirting than he thought… or something was going down that Loki was very, very happy he wasn't an audience to. He figured Jane wasn't that kind of girl, but it was still a frightening thought. He glanced over at his nightstand when his phone buzzed. He flipped it open, rolling his eyes at the name that popped up. He should've seen it coming, being that he just handed her the phone to put her number in the contacts.

**Text Message from: Darcy is Awesome 7:35 P.M  
So… they screwing yet?**

Loki typed in ' **It worries me why you're curious, but no, not that I know of.** '

**Text Message from: Darcy is Awesome 7:35 P.M  
Just concern for my friend's libido… and I'm bored with my friend at a bar. What're you up to?**

Loki coughed at the first bit, then shook his head and sent. " **That was a bit too much information, there. I'm hiding in my room, just in case, though**.'

**Text Message from: Darcy is Awesome 7:36 P.M  
That's adorable.**

Loki shook his head and wondered how the Hell a warning flag didn't pop up in his mind when Darcy had gotten his number and vice versa. How did he not know that 'helpful' wasn't going to be any of her adjectives. He settled for calling her a troll, which started name-calling back and forth, and then the mention that Jane had heard he did magic tricks for 'kiddies' which led to the proposal of a prank war on Darcy's part. Loki let the conversation die there, not at all willing to even see where else it could go. He bade Darcy goodnight, turned his phone off for good measure, and went to his laptop to respond to emails from coworkers and the like.

* * *

Once Darcy and Bobbi left the club they were at, and Darcy put Bobbi to bed to make sure the more-drunk girl wouldn't hurt herself in doing so, she headed home. She was pissed when she found out it was only ten at night, but she had done worse as far as getting in early went. She saw Jane finishing taking her makeup off and putting her hair out and leaned on the door. "So, are you two dating yet?"

Jane rolled her eyes. "It was just a friendly dinner."

"Loki and I don't seem to think so," Darcy replied.

"Well, it was. Oh, how's  _that_  going by the way? Last I checked if you bothered a guy a lot you were interested." Jane countered.

Darcy smirked, ignoring the first bit of her friend's statement. "Awesome. I'm gonna force him into a prank war tomorrow."

"Have fun with that." Jane responded.

"Oh, I will. Have fun fawning over Steroid Man."

"I will."


	4. Chapter 4

Loki glared down at the few pink specs that littered his arm- remnants from a few sparks that had reached his arm when he got too close to one of the devices. He had finished running cold water over it, and he had settled for judging how many of them would turn into scars. He had counted at least six when he glanced out the window and came face to face with Darcy- well, more like top of the head to face, but it still managed to scare the crap out of him. He stumbled back, tripping over the boxes in the process. He managed to catch himself at the last moment and straightened out. "DARCY!"

"I didn't mean that! And did anyone tell you your man-scream sounds like Nigel Thornberry's 'blargh'?" Darcy called through the window, jumping up a couple of times to attempt making eye contact with him.

Loki sighed and opened the window. "Darcy, if this is your idea of the start of this 'prank war', let me tell you, I'm not being part of it… and who the Hell is Nigel Thornberry?"

"Aw, don't get your panties in a bunch, it wasn't. Trust me, I'll open with something better. I was gonna ask you for something- and seriously, you don't know? How old are you? Thirty two? You had to at least have heard of The Wild Thornberries."

"Take two years away from that, never heard of it at all, and the door is about twenty feet away from here- you have permission to use it- not that you'd wait for permission anyway," Loki pointed out.

"Aw, well, I saw you over at the window and saved some walking-"

"You really need to stop with the Peeping Tom thing." Loki replied. "If I wasn't completely used to your behavior after  _a week and a half_ , I'd start to worry."

"Hey, it's not like I'm being a creep. I make you guys aware of my poking around and don't complain about anything that you guys do to the HOA."

"Yet," Loki cut in.

Darcy leaned up so she could reach up and hold onto the windowsill. "You're not a very happy person, are you?"

"Haven't we been over this…?" Loki arched an eyebrow.

Darcy shrugged. "Eh, I thought we only established that you hated Clint for no reason."

Loki rolled his eyes. "What is it that you needed, Woman?"

"You're gonna love this- but Jane and I are actually outta sugar, and ya know, even if Jane took up that raincheck we were wondering-" She blinked when Loki left without a word. "Okay…?" She stared, then smiled when he came back with a familiar brown paper package. "Yay, you're awesome!" She reached up for it.

"Ah," Loki pulled it back before she got to it. "No more Peeping Tom after this."

"Deal. Gimme!" Darcy replied.

"I mean it." Loki replied, handing it over.

"So do I. Thanks, El Capitan," She tugged the package under her arm and skipped off.

Loki shook his head. "Crazy woman…"

"I heard that!" Darcy called over her shoulder before heading back into her own condo.

Loki sighed and turned around, heading for the door when he heard the knob being turned. When Thor opened it and stepped through, Loki tossed his hands up. "At least you use the door…"

Thor frowned. "What?"

"Darcy," Loki replied simply.

"Ah," Thor nodded, understanding. "At least she's friendly. Our last few have hated our guts entirely. Remember Greta?"

Loki made a face and rubbed his cheek from the mere memory of the older woman slapping him because she thought he was 'trying something' when he had offered to help take in the groceries. Was it just him that had bad luck with women? Apparently so. "We've never had a Peeping Tom before," He cut in.

Thor shrugged. "True, but at least we're friends with her and she means no harm."

"That's what she said," Loki nodded.

Thor stared at him, then burst out laughing.

"Oh, not that way, _you idiot_! Literally!" Loki snapped.

Thor kept laughing. "Oh, Loki. Your refusal to understand modern lingo is adorable," He patted his brother's cheek, and laughed again when Loki tried to lick his hand, merely to get him away.

"I try," Loki replied. "And I understand it. I just refuse to acknowledge its stupidity."

Thor nodded and smiled. "Uh huh. So, I was thinking of having a little housewarming party tomorrow - the girls, a couple of the other neighbors I've been talking to, Clint and a couple of the workers- and anyone you wanna invite."

Loki frowned and blinked. "… How many have you already invited?"

Thor's smile faded. "Well, Jane, who's gonna extend the invite to Darcy, Bobbi, Phil, Clint, Mary…"

"And how many of them said they're coming?"

Thor flinched a bit. "All of them…?"

Loki blinked, shook his head and sighed. "Fine. Whatever. I'll find a way to escape, anyway."

Thor leaned forward. "Bro, you're staying, and that's final. You're gonna meet people and be friendly."

"But Clint's gonna get drunk, and so are you, and he's really annoying to take care of when he's drunk." Loki pointed out.

Thor snorted. "How do you know?"

"Remember back in the day when we were in New York and Clint visited and you had that girlfriend who insisted on the huge party where I hated everyone?"

Thor thought for a moment, then nodded. "Yes, but-"

"And do you remember me finally talking to someone when Clint was smashed beyond comprehension, and he said- more like mumbled something to me- and fell over and knocked me on my ass? He had me pinned there in the kitchen for ten minutes because you were too busy flirting with the girls to notice me yelling for help because no one else noticed, either," Loki insisted.

"That was like, nine years ago. Clint handles his alcohol better."

"I certainly hope so. I'll have you know I'm not stepping anywhere close to him tomorrow. If he falls on anyone again, I won't bother to help him- or them, up."

Thor smirked. "Isn't it supposed to be the big brother that lays down the rules for stuff like this?"

"Yes, the older one's supposed to be smarter and more responsible. See how that turned out?" Loki countered.

Thor merely beamed in response, before starting towards the stairs. "Thank you!"

Loki sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He wasn't looking forward to the next twenty four hours… well, knowing the company that would be going, as well as assuming their behavior, he kicked it up to dreading the next forty eight, and hoped all would end well.

* * *

About twenty-seven out of those forty-eight hours later, Loki was wondering why he had even bothered to be hopeful. Each of the invited guests had brought at least one person or more. That ended with the party being loud, muggy, and damn near unpleasant for the man, and it wasn't even an hour in yet. Where the Hell were Darcy and Jane? He could at least have a battle of wits with one of them to end the annoyance. He glanced over to the other side of the kitchen, where Clint and his plus one- his friend Natasha, were in the middle of a drinking contest. Seeing that Clint's eyelids were starting to get droopy and Natasha seemed as poised as she did when she came in, he knew Clint was losing. Miserably. He perked up when he heard the doorbell rang and darted his way around members of the crowd to get to it. He could've hugged Jane and Darcy, and even their blonde companion he had never seen before when it turned out to be them on the other side. "Thank God- _Sanity_."

Jane, who had leaned back at the unexpected volume level between voices and music, and the heat, blinked and smiled. "That bad, huh?"

Loki shrugged. "By my standards." He turned his attention to the blonde. "Hello, Loki Odison. You are?"

Bobbi waved. "Bobbi Morse; I'm Darcy's friend."

Loki nodded. "Works for me. Come on in," He led them inside the kitchen, and got four beers out, sliding them across the table to the girls.

While reaching for hers, Bobbi bumped into Clint. "Oh, sorry, dude."

Clint looked at her, grunted, and looked away. A moment later, he went-wide-eyed and completely still. His head whipped back towards her and he offered his hand. "Hi there, Pretty Lady. The name's Clint. What's yours?"

Bobbi laughed, and shook his hand. "Bobbi. Nice to meet you."

Clint nodded quickly, and the quick action seemed to flick a switch in his head. His body seemed to decide it had enough alchohol, and he promptly collapsed right off of the stool. Bobbi and one of the lesser-known actors from the set Loki was working on that Loki had forced himself to invite, Steve, scrambled to help him up.

Jane and Darcy gawked at Clint on the floor and looked at Loki expectantly, only to find the man's palm was already pressed hard against his face, dragging down slowly.

Steve and Bobbi straightened out, holding Clint up between them.

"Where to, Loki?" Steve asked.

Loki waved his hand towards the stairs. "Thor's room. It's the one on the right upstairs." He replied. He watched the two of them drag Clint off, then turned his attention back to Darcy and Jane. "God help him if he ends up in my room and pukes somewhere…" He muttered.

"I'm sure he'll be fine." Darcy replied, then took Loki by the shoulders and shook him gently. "Chill out, Dude. You'll live longer." She looked around. "You know what? Let's get you drunk and laid."

"I beg your pardon?" Loki demanded.

Darcy rolled her eyes and took his fist that was curled around the beer bottle. "You drink. I'm gonna go find a girl. All I have to do is mention you have an accent…" She said as she turned on her heel and wandered off.

Loki looked at Jane, who offered him a sympathetic smile. He returned an uneasy one before looking at the beer bottle and starting to drink, Hell bent on draining it in a few seconds. He'd take Darcy's advice and get drunk, not for the suggested outcome, but for dealing with the one who suggested it. After a few seconds he stopped and shook his head. "Thor should be in the living room. You don't have to play babysitter with me." He replied.

"You sure?" Jane asked.

"Positive. Go. I'll give you a shout if Darcy comes back with a vengeance," Loki replied.

Jane reached over and gave his free hand a quick, reassuring squeeze before heading for the living room.

Loki sighed, then walked around the house a couple of times to survey the possible damage it had sustained. He was surprised nothing was broken. The last time Thor threw a party with a turnout this large, they needed to spend about six hours in a home decorating store to replace everything that had been broken. He made his way back to the kitchen and sat on the stool that Clint had occupied minutes before, and offered a weak smile at Natasha when she looked at him.

Natasha leaned over so he could hear her. "Clint always that charming with the ladies?"

"Don't get me started with him and women- drunk or sober." Loki replied.

"Ooooh. Jealousy issues on one of your sides?" Natasha replied.

"Something like that." Loki nodded.

"Girl came between you, then?" Natasha corrected.

Loki made a face at her. "Why do women always know?"

"Intuition." Natasha replied with a smile. "So, did your girl just cheat in general or did Clint steal her away?"

"Bit of both… she cheated, but when he wasn't too upset when he found out." Loki replied.

"WHAT?!"

Natasha and Loki turned to see Darcy watching them. Loki frowned at her. "What?" He chorused innocently.

"A, that chick who cheated is like… the dumbest bitch ever, even if Clint is pretty- which is besides the point- Not the point I was trying to make, though. You have one beer and you're all… anal about life, and you have one drink that's like, barely in your system and all of a sudden you're Tessie Talks-A-Lot?"

Loki arched an eyebrow.

Natasha looked between the two, then arched her own eyebrows and stood up. "Well, I'll leave you people alone. I need to call the boss, anyway, tell them that Clint… got sick and can't call in for tomorrow himself," She replied, hurrying away.

Darcy didn't seem phased by the woman leaving. She just hopped onto the newly-vacated stool. "So, you're really mad at Clint for a stupid thing an ex did?"

"Here we go…" Loki rolled his eyes.

"Hey, come on. I'm on your side, but still. If the girl did it and it was just temptation… "

"It's not just that. He's always been a pain. The… cheating thing just happened to add to that," Loki replied.

Darcy pouted. That Natasha chick had gotten at least three sentences out of him about this, and she was barely getting more than one. _Damn redheads. They always get the boys first_. She settled for changing the subject when she spotted her housemate and Thor in the living room.

The man's hand was on Jane's shoulder, and he was pointing at her with his free one while talking to Steve and a couple of coworkers. Jane looked absolutely ecstatic that he was touching her.

"So, wanna start making up names for your nieces and nephews?"

Loki chuckled, relieved that she had seemingly dropped the last subject. "You're a tad desperate to get them together, aren't you?"

Darcy shrugged. "A dude in her life… and pants means she shuts up about science and starts talking about normal stuff- like guy drama and all that."

Loki shook his head. "Do you have any sort of mental filter with what to say to friends versus… impending friends?" Loki asked.

"No I do not." Darcy shook her head proudly.

Loki took a drink from the other beer bottle he had grabbed. "So, tell me, Darcy. Why so desperate about making sure relationships are repaired or created, hm?"

"Because being solo romantically or not sucks, my friend." Darcy patted his cheek, making the man wonder what everyone's sudden obsession with patting his cheek was.

Loki nodded. "Ah,"

"So, since you're drunk, any chances of giving away your plans for the prank war?" Darcy asked.

"Not one, Miss. Lewis."

Darcy stuck her tongue out at him, then looked back at Jane and Thor, muttered something about her 'real version of trolling someone' and headed over to them.

Loki shook his head, turned, and went looking for new company- company that didn't drive him more insane by the minute.

* * *

The next morning, Loki was starting to hate the fact that he had Sundays off. Thor had to go to wok, as did the girls, which left him alone in the house to deal with a hung over Clint. What he didn't expect was how… mindful Clint was about staying out of the man's way the next morning. When Clint had glanced at him after shuffling into the kitchen, he immediately offered Loki an apologetic smile and headed for the living room couch. Loki surprised himself by bothering to make the man coffee and even bringing it in for him. He would have to blame Natasha or Darcy for that one.

"What time is it?" Clint croaked after a few minutes.

"Two. Don't worry about calling in. Your friend did that for you," Loki replied.

Clint grunted something, then settled further into the pillows.

Loki waited to see if he would repeat it, but when he realized Clint had just passed out again, he settled for going about his own business. He headed back into the kitchen and got a bowl for cereal. He put that down and got a random box of cereal out and glanced out the window as he poured it in the bowlHe hardly noticed that something was wrong in the weight until he heard a clang and looked down. Rice was everywhere, and the bowl- thankfully one of the plastic ones Thor swore by- was on the floor, with more rice scattered around. He sighed deeply, realizing where this was. He looked at the box, and sure enough, Darcy had written 'This seemed quick and innocent enough. Hope you have a broom ' on the flap. He tossed it away and went in search for the missing object.

He hadn't at all expected she would actually go through with it for some reason. But, now that this prank war had indeed started, he wasn't going to let her win. At all. He started working up ideas then and there, and came up with the best one to kick off his retaliation- he just needed a way to get into their condo early enough in the morning or late enough in the evening.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: For those of you who don't know, the HOA is an organization that kinda acts as the... rule-makers, let's say, for people in condos and certain gated communities and all that who reinforce various things like noise levels, neighbor issues, etc. I've heard very little good things about them.


	5. Chapter 5

Darcy was in the middle of having a dream involving one of her ex-boyfriends falling off a cliff, magically coming back up and only to fall again when a loud beeping brought her right out of it. Not at all expecting it, Darcy bolted upright, onto to fall out of her bed. Another sequence of beeps joined in the other a second later. Darcy lazily stumbled around in the dark, tripping over clothes, books and other odds and ends as she did so. She managed to deduct the first beeping was her alarm clock, and she turned it off. She squinted at the time- four in the morning? What the Hell? It wasn't supposed to go off for another hour and a half. Goddamn it. Her entire day was gonna be thrown off from the hour and a half less of sleep. Once she was awake, she could never get back to sleep. She struggled to find the other source. She did, and frowned when she saw it was her PDA. She hadn't used that thing in months. She groaned and stumbled again when her cell phone went off. She took that off the nightstand. She jammed her finger into the talk button and put it to her ear. "Who the Hell is this? I have a taser and I'm not afraid to use it!"

"Good morning, Miss. Lewis, this is your wake up call. I trust you slept well?"

Darcy nearly dropped the phone. Instead, she settled for holding it tighter. "You throw off my internal clock for retaliation in putting rice in your cereal box? NOT. COOL. LOKI!" She shouted, not caring if she woke Jane. She pulled her head back when she heard him laughing- not the small chuckle, or sarcastic laugh he usually did- it was genuine- and as creepy as it was kind of adorable.

"Oh, Miss. Lewis, what you don't know is that I fight dirty." Loki replied.

"Kinky. I'm still gonna bitchslap you when I get a chance."

"Why not now? You have what, two hours to kill? I'm wide awake. I'll unlock the door."

Darcy blinked, finally starting to come out of her sleep-fogged haze. "Dude, why  _are you_  wide awake at four in the morning?"

"Working with explosions and mechanics takes a lot of work. Very time consuming. Tell me, how's extra sleep going to help a secretary?"

"A lot, Jackass." Darcy replied. "Buuut, at least this gives me more time to get ready."

"Ah, see? It worked out fine." Loki replied.

"Not for you, it's not."

"Yes, you've already told me I have a slap coming my way."

"Oh, not just that, Honey. You are staying on the line with me now, til I have to go."

"You're paying for it," Loki countered.

"Fine. I'll give you a ten after I slap you. That's more than enough," Darcy replied. 

"Fine. Then what's the subject?"

"Why people who need to lighten up annoy me to no end."

"Alright, I'm all ears."

"I hate you."

"No you don't."

* * *

A few hours later, Thor did not at all expect to see a palm coming towards his face when he opened the door to his condo. He ducked just in time, then reached out to steady Darcy when the young woman yelped and stumbled forward. She ended up turning and falling into his arms, and Thor had to settle for grabbing her under the arms.

Darcy gawked up at him. "Aw, Thor! I'm sorry! I thought you were Loki!"

Thor arched an eyebrow. "And what's my brother done to deserve getting punched or slapped?" He asked, pulling her closer in order to let her get her footing and stand.

"Woke me up an hour and a half earlier than I was supposed to and therefore throwing my entire day off," Darcy replied.

Bobbi waved and stepped into the house. "Hi. Sorry, I'm just here 'cause she's here to slap that guy Loki. Hell, she was a mess all day. I'd slap him too, for almost doubling my workload, but that was a great counterattack, if I do say so myself."

Loki came down the stairs, smirk planted firmly on his face. "Sorry you nearly had to take that for me, Thor."

"No harm done," Thor replied.

" 'Til now," Darcy added. She crossed the room and slapped Loki.

Loki let it happen, then simply straightened out. "Alright, I put up with you ragging on me for an hour and a half…"

Darcy growled and held up a ten dollar bill.

Loki took it. "Thank you,"

Darcy made a face at him, then grabbed Bobbi's hand and dragged her out of the house.

Thor hesitated, then sighed. "Should we change the locks like they did?"

"I'm starting to think so, but that one gets a pardon since you were the one that opened the door," Loki replied. "So, how goes it with Jane?"

Thor arched an eyebrow. "Okay, I guess. Why do you ask?"

Loki shrugged. "Well, being your younger brother, and Darcy being… Jane's surrogate younger sister, we couldn't help but notice you two were quite cozy at the party."

Thor smiled slowly, then took his turn to shrug. "I don't know. I just… like her."

"You gonna do anything about it?" Loki asked.

Thor beamed. "Why so curious?" His smile faded. "You're not interested-"

Loki's eyebrows shot up. "Jane? No! She's a little too… giggly for me," Loki replied. He hesitated, then shrugged. "You think she's interested?" He asked. He knew Jane only had eyes for Thor so soon, but he also knew Thor could be quite oblivious

"Well, I don't know, but what's not to like?" Thor shrugged.

Loki tried not to look too put out. And then there was that. He wondered how Jane did with people who had egos the size of the U.S. "Right…"

"What about you and Darcy?" Thor asked after a moment.

Loki shrugged. "Friendly competition is all."

"You know, in college you called me and my friend Lucy's 'friendly competition' flirting," Thor pointed out.

"Not my type, once again," Loki replied.

"Uh huh," Thor nodded, knowing smirk planted firmly on his face. "So what's your next move with the prank war?"

"Depends how badly she's going to get me back," Loki replied. "Not sure if I should be as eager to know what she has planned as I am, either."

* * *

 

And get him back she did. Granted, Darcy knew it was basically a ripoff of his, but she didn't care. She had tagged along with Jane to the movie night Thor had suggested, she had found Loki's clock, and set it an hour ahead- alarm and all.

To her surprise- and delight, the man didn't even notice. The next evening, Thor had come to report the outcome with a giant smile on his face. He told Darcy how Loki had woken up at his alarm, must've completely forgotten the prank war existed, and had woken his brother up from the loud, mad scramble he had to do to get to work- on time. Apparently once he got to the set and had been told by his boss he was an hour early, he had called Thor and instructed him to yell at Darcy. A moment after the request was given, Loki remembered the prank war and hung up.

Thor had requested that he took Darcy's side in it and acted as her advisor, giving her information on where Loki would be at certain times so she could get some prank done. Needless to say, Darcy agreed.

They just didn't know Loki and Jane had struck up a similar plan when they had run into each other by the mailboxes.

So, the two teams went into action- two hours conspiring against each other, even if it was one person from each house on each team. Two days later when Clint visited, he had caught onto it somehow, and mentally coined it 'Romeo and Juliet from Hell.' He hoped the outcome wouldn't be similar, but at the same time, he knew he would find it kind of hilarious (in a morbid way) if it did. When Bobbi showed up, he explained the whole thing to her, demanding it stayed quiet. The two ended up betting on whom would win- Clint went with Loki, and Bobbi went with Darcy. By the end of the week, they were acting as a second advisor to the person they were betting on- the other just didn't know it.

* * *

After a few minor pranks involving doorknobs, Halloween decoration spiders and rats, and various other things, the advising didn't work well. Sunday night found Loki running down the stairs, getting as far away from Darcy as possible. He settled for jumping over the kitchen counter to have something between them (including Thor, but that was besides the point). "Oh, come on, Darcy! I didn't think it was going to work that well!"

Darcy reached the kitchen and shoved a section of blue hair out of her face. "I'm gonna kill you, you little prick! You know how long it took to get my natural color back last time I died my hair!"

"You know, I intentionally got the stuff that only lasts a couple of days and I didn't expect it to cover everything."

"It's hair dye, you ass!" Darcy replied, lunging at him.

Thor caught her around the waist and pulled her back. "Let's draw the line at murder, shall we? I'm sure it'll be fine. Can you wear a hat at work? I'm assuming that's what you're worried about."

"Only kind of, because people think I'm weird to begin with," Darcy replied, fighting against his grip.

Clint shrugged. "Hey, if it's any consolation, blue kinda works for you."

"Thank you, Clint, but it's really not." Darcy replied.

Clint shrugged and looked at Darcy. "I tried, Bro."

"Why are you even here?" Loki demanded, ducking Darcy's fist just in time, before Thor pulled her back more.

Clint arched an eyebrow. "I'm helping you and you sass me? Really?"

"Second nature, Barton," Loki replied.

Clint turned to Darcy. "Hey, Darce, Thor pulled a muscle in his right thigh in high school. It's obviously healed and all that shit, but it's always been a weak point-"

"No!" Thor cut him off, quickly stepping back with his right foot to avoid any harm coming from that leg. However, even the movement was enough, because a moment later, Darcy had slipped out of his grip.

Loki was already out of the door.

Darcy tore after him, leaving Thor and Clint alone in the house. A couple of minutes later, Jane knocked on the door, then stepped in, waving at them. "She's really angry, huh?" She asked.

Thor nodded. "It's kinda ridiculous- he takes what she gives and has no qualms, but she tries to murder him about it."

"She's a chick. They always do that," Clint replied. "No offense…" He added, glancing at Jane.

Jane shook her head. "None taken. You're not... entirely wrong, thinking of some of the women I know. Should we go help him…?"

Thor shook his head. "No. I tried. It's on him now."

The three of them waited in silence, hoping nothing was going too badly when they heard the other pair screaming at each other. After about five minutes, the screaming abruptly stopped. They all looked at each other, hoping that Darcy hadn't just murdered their friend.

Another minute passed, and they all turned to the door when it opened.

Loki stepped through. He was soaking wet, from head to toe. He looked at his dry companions and sighed, ruffling his hair to get water out of it. "The sprinklers here are ridiculous," He announced. "And I was right, for the record," He added before heading for the bathroom. He came out, two towels in hand.

When Darcy showed up in the doorway a couple of moments later, with sections of her hair still blue, but with most of it her natural brown, she just sighed. When Loki held out the other towel, she snatched it and shot him a death glare.

Loki shrugged dismissively.

"This isn't over. I hope this is one of your ratty towels," She growled before starting to towel dry her hair.

Once the others realized that the rampage seemed to be over- temporarily, anyway, Thor looked at Jane. "So, you interested in getting dinner tomorrow night?"

The three who weren't involved in the conversation merely looked on, curious how the random subject change was gonna play out. They all loved Thor, but that might have been a bit much, as far as they were all concerned.

Jane gawked at him at first, then smiled. "Um… sure?"

"Good. I'll come by at… five-thirty, six o'clock?"

"Yeah, sure." Jane nodded, tucking her hair behind her ears quickly.

Darcy sighed. There it was. The nervous, adorable twitch. It was ridiculous how far she had fallen for this guy. She looked at Loki, who was looking at Thor with a similar expression to her own. She elbowed him in the ribs.

Loki shot her a warning glance, but upon seeing that it wasn't further retaliation, he leaned down to accommodate her leaning over to speak to him.

"Temporary break in this thing to make sure they get somewhere with this and stop making googly eyes?" Darcy muttered, noticing the other two had started up their own quick discussion and obvlisiou to everything else.

"You've got it," Loki nodded, shaking her hand quickly.

Clint watched them, then shook his head. "Alright, you crazy lovebirds. I'm out! Bye!" He waved.

Darcy nodded. "Yeah… I'm gonna go get the rest of this crap out." She reached up and gave Loki a not-too-gentle pat on the cheek. "Have fun with them," she instructed, giving him another pat on the cheek before running out.

Loki sighed and turned back to the remaining two in the house. They were still absorbed in their own conversation. Somehow, talking about where to go the following night had somehow morphed into stories of places they used to go to eat when they were kids. He wondered if they were even aware they were two people short in the room now. "Alchohol…" He muttered to himself. That was how he was going to deal with them, at least for the night. He had a feeling he was going to miss that prank war.

 


	6. Chapter 6

"No. I swear to God. The small one had me pinned down, the next thing I know, Loki comes up and just shoves the guy back, and he went flying like, six feet or more!" Thor recalled an old memory to Jane, waving his arms in excitement as he did so.

"No!" Jane laughed. It was her turn to wonder how they had gone from continuing the conversation from the previous night about childhood restaurants to general childhood memories, but she didn't mind at all. She liked learning about people, and her neighbors were on the top of that list. "Seriously? He looks like he wouldn't harm a fly." She added. "Not strength-wise, just… moral-wise."

Thor nodded. "I know, but hey, that's what brothers do when you're in high school and other kids are giving you trouble." He replied. "He's obviously gone back to that not-harm-a-fly thing since then, of course." He added. "So, what about you? Any siblings?"

"Little brother and a little sister. They both live in California. Showbiz kind of people- kinda like yours… just… more… Hollywood types, you know?"

"They can't be that bad if you turned out like this," Thor replied.

Jane's jaw dropped a bit, and she laughed. She stopped abruptly. Was laughing all she could do around him? How old was she? Darcy would be proud of her catching herself. "Thank you, but you'd be surprised. If you two met them, Clint would be kicked down a notch on Loki's 'To Murder' list."

"Oh really?" Thor replied. "Maybe we'll test that theory someday." When Jane smiled and raised her eyebrows as if to say 'we'll see'. "Hm… childhood pets?"

"Always golden labs- had three. There was Brandy, Misty and Maddie," Jane replied. "What about you?"

"Let's see… three dogs as well … two cats. The dogs were Max, Bear and Daisy, and then the cats-" He laughed. "God, they hated Loki. I'm pretty sure he still has the scar on his neck from where Whiskers scratched him… even Maya hated him."

Jane laughed. "The poor man. He hasn't had much luck, has he?"

"Not at all," Thor shook his head. "I'd feel bad if it wasn't so funny sometimes."

Jane swatted his arm. "Bad brother!"

Thor laughed again. "What? It's true! Come on. His luck in this stupid prank war has made you laugh a couple of times."

Jane went to object, then leaned back and took a drink from her water.

Thor smirked. "Got you."

"You're still worse," Jane countered.

"Uh huh. Now, stop changing the subject. What else? Food, pets, siblings… Oh. Here's one. Most embarrassing experience?"

"Oh, no no no. I need a few more drinks for that to be revealed." Jane replied.

Thor's smile grew the widest it had been, and turned to look for their waitress. "Then let's get started on that."

* * *

Loki had many regrets. Putting up with Darcy's antics was one of them. However, putting up with this as far as Darcy's insanity took the cake. He had gone after Darcy when she had followed Thor and Jane to the restaurant to 'make sure things went off without a hitch.' He figured he would talk to her enough to keep her occupied enough to stay the way away from his brother enjoying his time with the girl he was interested in. He didn't expect to be stuck spying on Thor and Jane with her, while hiding behind a bush, no less. Granted, they had moved to the bush when their respective housemates had left the restaurant and headed to the little park across the way. "This… is… ridiculous," He finally sighed, once Thor and Jane had sat down on a bench, just over fifty feet from them. "Do you honestly think they're not gonna see us?"

"Dude, it was your choice to come with me."

"To make sure you didn't get yourself into trouble," Loki replied.

"That would be adorable if you weren't such an ass- they're looking over here!" Darcy ducked behind Loki when he ducked as well. After a few moments, she looked up. "Clear." She reported.

Loki straightened out and shook his head. "Why do I do this…?"

" 'Cause I'm awesome," Darcy replied.

"More like insane," Loki muttered.

"Thank you," Darcy replied.

"Not a compliment."

"I know," Darcy replied. She turned her attention back to her sister-by-popular-demand. "Awww, she's smashed. She's doing her drunk walk. That makes her hair get messed up."

Loki promptly facepalmed. "Darcy… let me get this straight. We're hiding in a bush, pretty much stalking Thor and Jane… there's a branch in a very uncomfortable spot right now… I'm pretty sure we're considered tresspassers now that it's after eight and we're on this side of the park fence… and you're worried about Jane's hair?"

"Well, it could be worse- it could be dark and we could be wearing sunglasses," Darcy replied.

Loki rolled his eyes in her direction and gave her that look she thought was only reserved for Clint. "Oh, come on. The Blues Brothers? You have to know that one."

"Of course I know that one. That was an… interesting Halloween with my friend Gabe. Anyway, I'm just… you're too much of a hopeless romantic for your own personality."

"Shut up. I'm a girl. I'm allowed," Darcy replied.

"Mm hm," Loki sighed absentmindedly. He was questioning getting up and leaving Darcy to her own fate. However, part of him wanted to mentally kick himself for so much as thinking it. "Whatever. They're moving. Can we find another place to spy on them, if we must?"

"Fine," Darcy sighed.

"Sorry, people. You're not going anywhere."

The pair of them froze and went wide-eyed, suddenly worried that there wasn't some punk about to mug them behind them. Loki put his hand on the small of Darcy's back and pushed against her to looked back and let out a sharp exhale when he spotted the person behind them was in a navy blue shirt and pants- police navy. He just hoped it wasn't one of those creative thugs who dressed up like a cop. He spotted the badge, and out of experience from knowing… an old acquaintance, he could tell it was real. "It's fine. We're good." He muttered to Darcy. He turned back around and stood up. "What seems to be the problem, Officer?" He asked. His own words about trespassing from a couple of minutes prior. Goddamn it. Darcy was his living bad luck charm.

Darcy turned sharply, and frowned upon seeing the cop. "Hank?"

The cop, Hank, looked at her, then blinked in surprise. "Darcy? What're you doing here?"

Darcy gawked at him, and then looked at Loki. She practically clotheslined him in order to give him a half hug. "Spending time with my boyfriend."

"What?" Loki blinked. When she stepped on his foot, he put his arm around her shoulders and nodded.

It was Hank's turn to frown. "Oh? So fast?"

Loki looked between Hank and Darcy, putting the pieces together. The other man's facial expression made him wonder what the Hell he had gotten himself into, deciding to play along with Darcy.

Darcy shrugged. "What? You expected me to mope around for months and months because you broke up with me? No, Honey. Not my style," Darcy replied. "Lou, here, on the other hand, is."

Loki smiled weakly and nodded, figuring he was 'Lou' in this equation. "Hi,"

"Hi," Hank replied, hardly as pleasant. "So, you're her latest squeeze, huh?"

"Uh, yes. Why? Were you…" He knew the answer. Now he was just curious. Judging by Darcy stepping on his foot again, so did she.

"Yeah. A month ago."

Loki raised his eyebrows.  _A month. Fantastic._  There was no doubt this guy was probably still sore about that, he was a cop, and by the sounds of it, Darcy was itching for a fight. They were screwed. He had to take some craziness away from it. "Well, um, we are a relatively new couple… uh…"

"Doesn't look like it." Hank chimed in.

Loki was out of ideas for that one.

"Well, you know I'm a cuddler. He doesn't mind," Darcy replied. She hugged Loki tighter and tilted her head- a mental 'bring it on.'

Loki didn't like where this was headed at all. "Well, we should be going. It's getting late."

"A little too late for you people, actually. You've been trespassing for about… " Hank checked his watch. "Ten minutes."

"We've been talking to you for five of them." Loki objected.

"Still trespassing."

Loki rolled his eyes, but nodded. "Fine. Is it a fine? How much?"

"Lou, no. We're not paying shit when we got distracted and we're ten feet away from a spot we wouldn't be considered trespassing in." Darcy objected.

Loki shook his head. "Look, I don't want trouble-"

"Which is why we're not gonna go anywhere." Darcy replied.

"Not really, Darce. Gotta take you people in- can't play… not favorites, can I?" Hank snapped. He looked at Loki. "You'll learn that this one can be a manipulative bitch."

"What?" Darcy demanded.

Loki stepped between them. "Alright, hold on. That was uncalled for, now. I understand you might be a little… touchy if it's only been a month since you broke up, so you should be more mad at me if you really think about it. Don't go calling her names just because of that."

"What? It's true. I'm just giving a guy fair warning." Hank shrugged. "The chick seems pathetic, then bam. She'll ruin ya. You might as well put a leash on her-"

"Oh, that's it!" Darcy cut in. Before Loki could even register what was going on, Darcy had gone over to Hank, slapped him, and had gone after him again when the man stumbled back.

"Darcy, what're you-!" Loki practically launched himself at Darcy and wrestled her away, turning her body so he was between the pair again. "I'm sorry on her account. Can we just pay and be done with this?"

"Uh, no pal. Our mutual crazy person just assaulted an officer."

Loki hesitated. "Well, can I break up with her, leave her here, and then call it even…?"

* * *

Loki groaned and leaned forward when he heard the row of iron bars hit the wall to his right. He turned sharply, crossed the small room, and sat down on the bench.

"Sorry…" Darcy muttered from the corner.

"Don't… talk. Please." Loki replied. "I could be home in bed reading right now- Hell, he gave me that option, but no. Something told me to still be the gentleman and stay with you in here. Why?" He looked up.

"If it makes you feel better, I appreciate you vouching for me back there." Darcy added.

"It doesn't, but you're welcome." Loki sighed.

Hank approached the drunk tank that they had been tossed in after one of the higher-ups dismissed their trespassing case as much as Darcy and Loki had themselves. "Your turn for you phone call, Darcy." He reported.

Darcy grunted, got up, and let him lead her around the corner.

Loki leaned forward and shook his head. They were stuck there til bright and early in the morning- that was their 'sentence.' He had called Thor a few minutes prior. Thor had merely heard what had happened, burst out laughing, promised to pick him up, and hung up. Loki made a mental note to punch him once they were out of sight of the officers.

A few minutes later, Darcy was led back into the cell. She sat next to him, then leaned on his shoulder. "Jane yelled at me." She announced.

"I can't say I blame her…"

Darcy grumbled something, then attempted to get comfortable against his side. "Night," He muttered.

"Are you joking?" Loki demanded. "We're in jail for the night and you have sleep on the brain?"

"It ain't my first time here." Darcy replied. "Now shut the Hell up. Drunk people are gonna start pouring in in about three hours. I wanna get some shut eye by then." She replied.

Loki blinked a couple of times, then shook his head. "I should really stop being surprised…"

* * *

When eight A.M rolled around, Loki wanted the feeling in his shoulder back. He shifted, just enough to get Darcy to fall a bit, waking her up.

She bolted upright. "I didn't do it!"

"Oh, yes you did." Loki replied. He leaned back again, and then arched an eyebrow when the door to the room he was in opened, and a man in a suit stepped through. Loki recognized him and frowned. "Oh, you have got to be kidding…"

"What?" Darcy asked.

She didn't need him to answer, because a moment later, the man in the suit stepped over to the cell. "Well, Loki. Imagine my surprise when I saw that it was your name after 'Odinson' and not your brother's."

"What can I say, Lieutenant Coulson? I'm full of surprises. Can we leave now?"

Coulson offered a sarcastic smile. "Just catching up. No harm, no foul, right?"

"Depends on your definition of catching up,." Loki replied.

Darcy looked between the men. Loki didn't look thrilled to see him, but there was guilt in there to. What the Hell had happened between those two? She mentally smacked herself. She was in prison- hardly the place to get a laugh in.. Well, it kinda was, since her jackass ex-boyfriend was the one who brought them in, but they were alone in the cell and in one piece, so it could've ended far worse.

"So, how's Thor? Still letting you take the fall for him?" Coulson asked. 

"Not this time," Loki cut in. "And he should be on his way."

"Oh, he's waiting for you outside already. Like I said, just catching up." Coulson replied. "There's a brunette with him. Pretty girl. Any connection to your friend here?" 

 "Yes, a close friend. Can we have someone other than that psychopathic ex of hers to escort us out, please?" Loki demanded.

Coulson nodded after a minute. "I'll walk you out. I need to talk to Loki beforehand, though, so..." He looked at Darcy. "If you wouldn't mind giving us a moment once we get to the doors?" 

Darcy shrugged. "Whatever, sir, as long as I get out." 

Coulson nodded, unlocked the cell door and motioned at them to follow him. Once they made it to the exit where Thor and Jane were waiting for them on the other side. Darcy went out and waited, and Phil prodded Loki's arm to get him to stay. He waited for Darcy to be out of earshot, and when she was he sighed. "Look, Odison. She seems okay, but just... watch it, you know. Watch the lines you're crossing with her. You've cleaned up enough of Thor's messes. There's no need to add to the list of people," he told him. 

Loki frowned and nodded, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't not look at the scar halfway above Coulson's forehead that he had put there from throwing a brick at the man's face for attempting to take Thor into custody when he and Fandral had caused trouble when they were both visiting in the area. Thor was seventeen, Fandral was sixteen and Loki had been fifteen at the time. Loki, in turn, had been taken in and all but shoved into the back of the squad car with the other two. Coulson was just out of his mid-twenties at the time as well, but after that Coulson had been protective over Loki when he took the fall for his brother in the worst way. Cop intuition, he supposed, but he wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth... that much, anyway. He nodded reluctantly again. 

Phil patted him on the shoulder. "Go"

Loki left without so much as a glance backward. Once he was out, he could hear Jane freaking out over Darcy. 

"Oh my God. Are you okay? Did anyone try anything? Did you get hurt? How' it happen? Was it Hank? Why'd he jail you guys so fast?" 

Darcy, in turn, merely told her to calm down before she got to the backseat. She was never going to live this one down… ever.

 


	7. Chapter 7

The next afternoon, Clint and Darcy let themselves into the Odinson house within a minute of each other. Loki was settled on the couch, reading. He knew Thor wouldn't be out of work for another few hours, Jane had mentioned putting in a long day, and his mother wouldn't dare let herself of his father enter without knocking, and Clint knew to show some restraint. "Hi, Darcy!" He called.

"Hi!"

Loki looked up, then frowned when he spotted Clint walking a few paces behind her. He scratched off his last mental generalization. However, that wasn't what had him frowning. It was the fact that Clint had a black eye-and looked happy about it. "What the Hell happened to you?"

Darcy, who had only seen the back of Clint's head from the front yard, pulled back when she saw it. "Yeesh. Yeah, what happened?"

Clint shrugged. "I backed up my friends," he replied. "Meaning you two."

Loki and Darcy exchanged puzzled looks.

Clint smirked. "Fine, idiots. I had to go down to the station today, and I found that guy Hank, who Thor told me about. I got him to punch me and throw some insults, he got a general suspension, and then Coulson realized that kinda legitimized your claim about him jumping the gun, so  Hank got booted out for a longer period for abuse of power!" Clint replied, beaming now.

Loki and Darcy looked at each other before looking at Clint. "You're joking!" Loki objected, sitting down. Darcy took the seat next to him.

Clint scoffed. "You wanna go see the paperwork?" He asked. " Hey, I got to shoot some asshole bank robber who tried to kill someone this morning, and backed up my friends this afternoon. It's been a damn good day, and I wanted you people to know that."

Loki stared at him, then laughed again and patted him on the back before Darcy ran over and gave him hug from behind. "You conniving little bastard! And they didn't suspect you of doing it on purpose?" Loki asked.

Clint snorted. "Lo, Come on. I'm me. If you weren't so proper, and I pissed you off, I woulda taken a few on the chin just 'cause you could, right?"

Loki shrugged and smiled. "True."

Clint laughed, then pulled back when Darcy hugged him tighter. "Love you too, Crazy, but I have to breathe sometime…" He replied, then leaned forward again when she let him go. "So, does fulfilling your style of justice earn me a beer and a little forgiveness?" He asked Loki.

Loki nodded. "It's earned you two, and I'll consider the forgiveness," he headed for the fridge, then when he got one of the beers, he slid it across the table to Clint. He hesitated when Clint was talking with Darcy, leaving his black eye facing the other man. Loki reached over and poked it, and Clint pulled back with an indignant squawk.

"Now we're even." Loki replied. "… For now."

Clint's frown changed back into a smile, then looked around. "So, where's our non-doomed Romeo and Juliet?"

"Work," Loki shrugged. He moved over so he was next to Clint. He went to poke the man's bad eye again, but Clint slapped his hand away.

The brunette shot him a warning look, then looked down at his drink. "How'd they take you two going to jail for a legit reason?"

Loki shook his head. "Thor's still calling me his 'Favorite Convict'."

"Jane finally stopped interrogating me on the reasons we got stuck in jail." Darcy added. "… I hate her being a goodie-two-shoes know-it-all."

Clint snorted. "Tell us how you really feel."

"Just did. Loki, beer, please?" Darcy asked.

Loki rolled his eyes and got the beer, then hesitated. "You are of drinking age, aren't you?"

Darcy shot him a 'you've got to be kidding' look.

Loki shrugged. "Your mindset and talent for trouble begs to differ."

"Right, because you weren't a juvenile delinquent at heart back in the day, or now, when you're trying to maul poor Clint's face here," Darcy shot back.

"Well, as Coulson said, that was more my brother's specialty. He got into trouble, little brother came to the rescue and when that didn't work, got his parents to come to the rescue, to the point where Coulson would drop by their house every so often to make sure 'Thor was behaving himself.'" He shook his head. "Vicious, continuous cycle… Ugh. I should've punched him when I had the chance back five years…" He set down the beer in front of Darcy, and when she went for it, he pulled backand away from her, repeating the process a couple of times when she reached. He laughed and handed it over to her when she swatted his chest. "Prank war's back on."

"Yeah, I figured." Darcy shot back.

Clint rolled his eyes. "Can you two just screw and get it over with, please? This is almost painful to watch. At least Thor and Jane know what's up." He frowned when he saw Loki freeze and look mortified. "What…?"

"That was what Hank said when we were behind bars. He figured with Loki's attitude, there was no way we could be dating, so even after the drama he started, he basically said the same thing- 'screw and get it over with.' Loki here said no quicker than… " She would've taken some cheap shot at a celebrity, but having the memory brought back made her lose track of all the possibilities. "… UGH!" She slid off the stool, then stormed off- namely out the front door.

The men watched her, then looked at each other.

Loki looked at him, then glanced pointedly at the knife block in the corner.

"I should go, shouldn't I?" Clint asked.

"Yes."

Clint nodded, then made for a quick exit, then offered a tight-lipped smile as a quick greeting at Thor as he passed him by the doorway.

"What was that about?" Thor asked, already chuckling.

"Clint starting Darcy Drama," Loki deadpanned. He looked around, then realized he hadn't gotten himself a beer- and after that, he needed one. He turned to get one from the fridge.

Thor arched an eyebrow. "What happened?"

"Oh, Clint told us to 'screw and get it over with', the same thing that-"

"That guy Hank told you that put you in the doghouse when you did the gentlemanly thing and said 'no'."

Loki nodded. "But, as you and I are well aware, women tend to hate the 'gentlemanly thing' and she stormed out as opposed to giving me the stink eye," Loki sighed.

A grin grew on Thor's face. "You know, for once I'm on Clint's side here. It might help if you and Darce-" He ducked the apple that Loki picked up and threw at him. "But it's true!" The next projectile was an orange. Thor retreated up the stairs, still laughing.

Loki shook his head, then went to the base of the steps. "You know, I could say the same for you and Jane!" He called.

"You know what? At least that may happen and I won't deny it!" Thor replied.

"You're a horrible person!"

"But you love me."

Loki rolled his eyes and headed for the living room. Getting drunk and watching a horrible movie would fix this- he hoped.

* * *

It didn't. Darcy hadn't spoken to him for a couple of days. Loki wondered why she hadn't reacted so when  _they were in prison_ , but after the first day, he was more worried about his welfare, knowing Darcy. Didn't she mention something about her dad giving her a taser the year she and Jane had bought the condo…? He had made a mental note to make sure the coast was clear any time he left the house.

the third morning of no word from Darcy (Jane had happily played middleman and had muttered to Loki she was on his side with the whole thing) started with Loki being late. It wasn't Darcy's doing- he had just fallen behind with helping Thor get his things together for his own job.

He had made quick work of getting ready, and when he opened the door and prepared to just about throw himself through it, he abruptly stopped, leaning back to avoid what was waiting for him.

The doorway was blocked by duct tape that was running back and forth in the doorway. It covered most of it, leaving about a foot and a half of space free at the bottom. 'BRING IT ON, SUCKA' was written in sharpie on the surface of the tape. Loki wanted to figure out how that was even possible, but then remembered he had a more important task at hand. Thor was stronger- he could take care of the mess. He groaned, knelt down, and with some difficulty, managed to get through the opening at the bottom. "Right…" He dusted himself off and headed for the car. At least the prank was a good start back at normalcy. Now he needed one better.

* * *

"So, let me get this straight," Bobbi idly tapped her finger on her desk. "So, Hank and Clint mess with you and tell you two to get it on because because they notice the ridiculous amount of sexual tension you have compared to Mr. and Mrs. Need to Get a Room Themselves, Loki's being respectful and says no, and you flip out on Loki?" She finished.

Darcy groaned. "Why is no one on my side?"

"Because that's goddamn ridiculous."

Bobbi and Darcy looked in the direction of the new voice- then gawked when the realized it was Tony Stark. Well, that was certainly new.

Tony smiled sarcastically, then it dropped. "Listen, Uh…"

"Darcy…?" Darcy tilted her head with a questioning smile.

"Right, now I remember," Tony hooked one of his feet around the chair in the corner's leg, pulled it over to him, and tossed that leg over it before sitting down. "Listen, Darce. You come across as a feminist to me-"

Darcy opened her mouth to reply, but he continued.

"-Which means you should've been all for what the man said about not going after you. He's trying to be a good guy. There aren't many of those out there. I should know- I'm not one of them. Ask our gal Pepper. If I gave her a gun, she would gladly shoot me. That's beside the point. If you're that worried about him denying you, you change that, or we're gonna have another cat lady living in the city. I hate cats. I don't want cats becoming the majority in my city in twenty years. Got it?"

"Uh…"

"Good. So you go and apologize to the poor guy, and if all else fails, climb him like a tree so he changes his mind fast."

Darcy stared at him, and he started to look panicked. He stared back for a few seconds before he checked his watch. "Oh, good. My good deed for the next five years is done, and that made me late to the meeting with that weird Fury guy." He got up, then pointed to the girls. "Thanks for that. You guys will be getting a raise soon." He got up, straightened out his clothes, buttoned his jacket, and trotted up the stairs.

The girls stared at the staircase for a while.

"Hey, Darce…?" Bobbi asked.

"Uh huh?"

"… The Hell just happened?"

"I have no idea."

* * *

A few days later, Loki and Darcy had made amends for the most part. However, with the prank war, playful or not, they still had the typical banter going on. When Darcy glanced out the window when she heard car doors close, she tilted her head, spotting Loki and Jane talking to each other, heading for the girls' condo. Loki had a large box in hand. "Uh uh." She headed for the door and opened it. "Ay, the Hell is in the box?"

"Shh!" Jane hissed.

Darcy arched an eyebrow, then let the woman take her hand and lead her into the living room. Loki set down the box on the counter.

Darcy looked at the box- most of the contents were Jane's 'science stuff', as she called it, but there were a couple of notebooks with things scrawled in it. "Wanna fill a girl in?"

"Thor's birthday is coming up next week. We're gonna do a surprise party for him," Jane explained.

"A surprise party for a grown man?" Darcy asked.

"You had one last year," Jane countered.

Darcy stuck her tongue out at her.

Jane sighed. "So, you in with helping us or not?"

Darcy shrugged. "Fine. Why not. Gives me something to do," she hesitated and looked at Loki. "Ya know, aside from planning what's next in the prank war."

"Fine then, I'll tone it down, then we'll get back to business on his birthday- Saturday," Loki added, before she could even voice the question.

"I'm holding you to that," Darcy replied.

Loki arched an eyebrow. "… Okay?"

Darcy nodded, then leaned forward and took out the two notebooks that she speculated were part of the plans. When neither of her companions objected, she dropped them on the table and hunched over to read them. "Let's do this shit."


	8. Chapter 8

 

Loki and Clint stared down at their cake. Unlike the one directly beside it, it was lopsided, a little too brown around the edges to be considered cooked properly, and most of it had broken up when they had taken it out of the pan.

"… We can always just pour icing on it, write 'The Odison Boys Hate Your Rotten Guts' on it and give it to Coulson…" Clint offered.

"Don't tempt me," Loki deadpanned. He looked at the other cake that seemed flawless, and then its creators- Darcy and Bobbi. "How?" He demanded.

Darcy shrugged. "Hey, you said you were bad at baking the second day you lived here," she motioned at her cake. "This is normal," she pointed at theirs. "That isn't."

"No shit…" Loki sighed. He raised his wrist in order to check his watch. "Where the Hell are my parents…?"

"What, you don't pick them up?" Darcy asked.

"Driving distance," Loki explained. "Backup plan for this. Ladies, start another cake. We'll move this one out of the way, then I'm gonna go make sure everything's in order for the guests and all that, and Clint… try not to break anything after you toss that… thing out."

Clint looked over at the glass container holding various baking tools and contemplated knocking it over just to annoy the man. He thought better of it after considering his latest 'forgiveness' and knowing the day was going to be quite stressful for the younger man. "You got it, Brother," He watched Loki leave, and then headed over to the counter to dump the cake before turning to the girls to offer his help. They all but chased him out of the room.

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang, and the three on the first floor looked up, then at each other, before Clint jumped off the couch. "Got it!" He called, closing the distance between himself and the door before tossing it open. "Ma! Pop!"

The girls tried to peek around the door to catch a glimpse of the people.

"Ah, Clinton! I didn't expect to see you here so soon!" A soft-spoken woman's voice replied.

"Hello, my boy!" This one was a male- deeper, and it just rolled off the man's tongue.

The girls watched Clint disappear behind the door and move in to hug the couple that the girls had yet to see. A moment later, he ushered the couple inside.

Darcy tried not to roll her eyes- the two people practically looked like royalty- exactly what she expected from a British pretty boy and do-gooder.

Clint grabbed the bags from the doorway and put them inside the doorway. "So, how was the trip?"

The woman laughed. "Clint, Darling, you know we both love you like one of our own, but let's wait for our real son who's supposed to be home to get here before we start thing."

"Sure thing, Ma." Clint nodded, then turned to the staircase. "Hey Lo! Your folks are here!" He called.

Darcy let out a snort when Loki and Thor's parents exchanged wide-eyed looks in reaction to Clint not noticing he had essentially screamed in the pair's ears.

The Woman- Missus O, at the moment, finally noticed the women. "Oh, hello!" She greeted warmly.

Mister O smiled and nodded a greeting.

A few moments later, Loki came down the stairs, his arms already open. "Hello, Mom, Dad." He greeted, giving his mother a kiss on the cheek and father a hug. Once the two generations had untangled from each other, Loki stepped back, then caught his mother's expectant look that went from the girls to him. "Right, introductions first, then the trip. "Right, Mom, Dad, the one on the left is our neighbor and already a dear friend, Darcy Lewis, and the one next to her is her friend Bobbi. They volunteered to help with tonight. You'll meet Darcy's housemate Jane later tonight. After the pair of them get out of work she's gonna take him grocery shopping to buy us time. Darce, Bobbi, these are my parents, Odin and Frigga." He explained.

Bobbi smiled and offered a, "nice to meet you" along with a handshake. Darcy laughed, then followed suit. "So, with all due respect, it's not just your boys generation with the awesome names, huh?"

Odin let out a chuckle. "No. We started it, then found friends with similar interests and essentially caused the Pagan wave of names with them and their circle of friends." Odin replied, then clapped Loki on the back. "Sorry,"

Loki forced out a laugh, and then nodded. "Right. So, tour time. Well, first of all, welcome to the new house! Sorry it's been so long, it's just been… ridiculously busy, now, you've seen the living room, here's the kitchen…" He led his parents out of the room, and further into the house.

After a few seconds, Bobbi let out a squeak that turned into a laugh.

Darcy joined in. "Look at him, all nervous with the folks. That's adorable."

"You should see him at family reunions." Clint chimed in, coming back into the kitchen. "Poor guy can barely stand up straight for three seconds, he's so worried about looking like an idiot in front of everyone."

"I wanna see that!" Darcy's hand shot up. "I am so crashing that party next time it's going on."

"Makes two of us." Clint nodded. "Now, what can I do to help that won't destroy this cake, kitchen or house when we have company?"

* * *

 

Clint quickly yanked the window blinds closed when he spotted Jane and Thor coming up the sidewalk towards the house. "They're comin', people! Hide, now!" He hopped over the corner of the coffee table, and grabbed Bobbi's hand since she had been on the other side of the door. He dragged her behind the half-wall into the kitchen, then hit the light switch.

The gathered crowd of twenty had to hand it to themselves- they quieted down and hid quite fast.

A couple of minutes later, the door opened, and Jane stepped through, looking around quickly to make sure everything seemed to be in order. When she knew it was, she stepped aside. "Yeah, right on the counter would be great, thank you!" She waited until Thor was a couple of feet into the room before she turned on the lights.

When everyone popped up and yelled 'surprise', Thor stumbled back before his whole face lit up. He started clapping when everyone finally finished straightening themselves out. He started up the hugs and greetings, and when he reached Loki and his parents towards the back, he clapped again before pulling all three of them into a hug before letting Loki go to check on everyone and catch up with his parents.

A few minutes later, Darcy managed to sidle over to Loki when his parents had left him to talk to Sif- another name that she had a hard time keeping a straight face once she heard. She hopped up on the counter beside him and offered her hand for a high-five. "Up top, Handsome. We got shit done."

Loki slapped five with her, then looked around before looking back at her. "Yes we did, Gorgeous. So, should we be worried that Clint and Bobbi seem to be getting cozy?" He nodded at the pair in the living room, who were quite close while talking, and Bobbi was smacking his arm lightly and laughing in the girl's most obvious form of flirting Darcy had ever seen.

"Eh, I saw that shit coming the second Clint nearly fell over seeing her. Cliché is adorable with them."

Loki shrugged, then looked for Thor and Jane who were talking with Fandral and Sif in the opposite corner. "Let's focus on them more, then, shall we?"

"You got it." Darcy nodded. "I give 'em two weeks til they jump each other."

"One," Loki shrugged.

"Oh, no, my darlings. That is less than twenty four hours."

Loki and Darcy looked to their right to see Frigga join them. She smiled warmly, then looked at Thor and Jane. "I wouldn't say they're going to 'jump' each other, but… he's quite taken with her." She sighed. "Is it wrong I want to plan the wedding already?"

While Darcy giggled, Loki gave his mother a pat on the shoulder. "Yes, very much so, but I don't mind." 

Frigga touched her shoulder and laughed, and Darcy beamed in response. 

Loki rolled his eyes, then glanced back at the clock on the oven. "Oh, wow. That went quick."

"What did?" Darcy asked. There wasn't much to wonder about for long.

"Everyone, living room now! Thor's officially thirty-two in three minutes! Cake is on its way!"

The crowd filed into the living room just as Loki and his parents regrouped in the kitchen. Within a minute the trio entered the other room, with Frigga carrying in the cake and the two men flanking her. Clint started up 'Happy Birthday', and the last minute they had passed, and Thor had made quick work of blowing out the candles before beaming at the applause that met him. He laughed and returned the hugs that everyone gave.

When Jane got her turn, she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Happy Birthday!" She smiled.

"Thank you!" Thor sing-songed. A moment later, his smile faded. He stared ahead for a moment, then sighed. "Oh, what the Hell." He got up and turned to Jane. There was a couple of seconds worth of a pause before he grabbed her around the waist, pulled her close, and kissed her on the lips.

Jane's surprised yelp was drown out by the resulting cheers- namely the wolf whistles from Clint and the younger women. When the most vocal trio looked over at the rest of Thor's family, Loki looked genuinely surprised, Frigga had a knowing smile on her face, and Odin had a matching expression to hers.

When Thor finally pulled away and let Jane go, the woman just blinked up at him before giggling- and stifling that quickly. The smile was back on, however, when Thor pulled her against him and helped Sif hand out the pieces of cake she had volunteered to cut after the mini-show. Conversations started up again, with most of the audience oblivious that the kiss had been a first between the pair.

A few minutes passed, and Loki and Darcy regrouped once again. "Your mom must have a sixth sense for that stuff," she mused.

"So it would seem, yes." Loki nodded, then frowned. "…That is a little unsettling, then… that must mean she wanted or thought Sif and I would be good together."

Darcy gawked for a second. "Wait, like, tall, leggy Sif over there?"

Loki arched an eyebrow at her. "You mean you know another Sif?"

Darcy shrugged, then shook her head. "Wow. You guys… Dude, I'd be terrified about what would come from you guys getting together. She's terrifying and you're too smart for your own good… dude, I would worry about the world's fate if you two had kids."

Loki let out a laugh. "Guess that's true…"

Darcy frowned, then pulled her own conclusion from his tone. "Dear God, you liked Sif?"

Loki scrambled to cover her mouth with his hand when Sif looked around for the source of her name being called, not having heard the first bit. When she gave up the search, Loki let go of Darcy, but kept his middle finger and pointer finger on her cheek in order to tilt her head towards him. "No, I didn't. The thought crossed my mind, but your logic and mine are remarkably similar, therefore…" He shrugged. "That didn't get anywhere."

"Awww, poor baby," Darcy frowned.

Loki shot her a warning look.

Darcy beamed. "Well, can we start naming your nieces or nephews and my godkids?"

"Oh, this will be good…"

"So, from what I recall, Jane's always like the name Danielle but I can't really see either of you saying that name, so maybe we can call her Danni, and then Jane liked the name Hank, but after last time I don't think you'd ever really go for that name…"

"Precisely,"

"And then there was David, Caleb, Emma, Rose…"

* * *

 

Frigga turned her attention from Darcy, who was talking animatedly and Loki looking entertained, and turned it to her husband. "So, I think both of our boys are quite taken with those girls…"

"Oh good, and I was starting to wonder if I was the only one who saw something plainly obvious- even before that kiss." Odin nodded, then smiled. "Yes, they have their hands full with them, but it seems to be working for them, so I can't complain."

Frigga chuckled, then nodded. "You know what this means, don't you?"

"Our boys are happy?"

"Yes, and what else?"

Odin arched an eyebrow at her. "Enlighten me,"

Frigga leaned forward. "Means we finally have the possibility of having grandchildren in front of us."

Odin laughed. "One step at a time, Dear. One step at a time."

 


	9. Chapter 9

It was a wet, dreary day one week after those events. Contrary to popular belief, Darcy adored rainy days- especially when it poured out. Sure, it got muddy as Hell, but it was still pretty and forced this sense of calm in the city. It also made for a slow work day, to which she would never complain. She heard the outside door bell ring and looked up to see what she was about to deal with. She frowned when she saw it was Loki and Steve. They hadn't seen her yet. Loki was in the middle of laughing about something while explaining it and Steve was watching intently, with a large grin of his own.

"And then Logan turned and punched Bill in the face! No one even knew what to do! We were all standing there stunned, and then Logan walked away, and Bill muttered something about 'fists of steel.' When Logan walked by me, I wasn't sure whether to laugh and applaud or run!"

Steve shook his head. "I... that's a bad way of going about it, but... it woulda been worth it to see it." 

Loki shrugged. "I feel your pain," He looked over at the desk, then smiled. "Darcy! I thought you were off today!"

Darcy waved. "Nope. Cooped up here for a couple of more hours. What's in the boxes? And why are you two the delivery boys?"

Loki put his down on her desk, and Steve followed suit. "Lost at rock paper scissors, and odds and ends that have to go to Nick Fury to be passed on to-"

"Hello, Ladies! Ya miss me?"

Loki turned around, then merely blinked when he realized Tony Stark had strolled into the building, clad in a well-fitting suit and sunglasses as per usual. Loki blinked a couple of times, then adjusted his hold on the box so he could point at the older man. "Well… him."

Tony frowned and tapped his sunglasses down his nose. "Loke? Steve-O? What're you doing here?"

"Well, we were supposed to give these to a guy by the name of Fury to give to you, but…" Loki shrugged, then offered the box. Steve nodded and did the same.

Tony looked between them. "What's in them?"

The pair shrugged.

Tony's frown deepened. "So you could be handing me two bombs since  _The Furinator-_ heh, drop the 'F' in that nickname and you get a better one-wants me dead, and you two wouldn't know it?"

Steve shrugged. "You only live once."

Tony rolled his eyes in his direction. "I value my life, thanks."

"Thought you valued risk-taking," Steve pointed out.

"This is true. I also adore presents, so why the Hell not?" He took the boxes, then turned to Darcy and Loki. "So, how's that jerk of yours slash God's Gift to Women Who Really Want Good Guys doing?"

Darcy coughed and kicked him in the shin lightly.

Loki and Steve both arched an eyebrow.

Tony waved his hand. "It's that guy that gave you trouble before," he added, putting his sunglasses back up in order to block Loki from seeing the questioning look that he sent Darcy. "What was his name again…?"

Darcy tried not to laugh when Tony drew his lower lip down and to the side, grasping for straws as it was confirmed in his head that the man they had discussed was one of the two behind him.

"Hank," Darcy replied, then let out the laugh when Loki instinctively let out a groan of disgust.

Tony made a face, successfully hiding his glee about being in the clear. "That bad, huh?" He looked back at Darcy. "Takes a lot to piss off my favorite pyromaniac."

"I'm not a pyromaniac." Loki sighed.

"Liar. All men love when things go 'boom'. I'm not judging," Tony dismissed his protest. He smirked at the younger man, then the smirk turned right into a frown when he spotted something from the window. "Crap."

Loki just stared ahead when, a moment later, Tony dropped to the floor and practically barrel-rolled behind Darcy's desk.

Tony pointed up at Darcy. "I was never here. Say it with me- 'I was-'"

" 'Never here'-gotcha." Darcy nodded. A moment later, she turned when the entryway doorbell rang again. "Hi, Fake Mom!" Her greeting to the redhead who had just strolled in was joined in by Bobbi, who had just arrived from upstairs.

Pepper Potts smiled at the two women. "Hey, Honorary Daughters. So how's work going?"

"Slow," Bobbi chimed in.

Pepper nodded, then shook her head. "Tony ran off again. I swear, being his assistant is the worse. He's just a full grown child. Does he have anything scheduled in this building today?"

"Nope," Darcy replied.

Pepper sighed. "Go figure. He probably went and found some skirt to chase. Another leggy blonde, probably. I should go check that lingerie store across the street…you know, if he's run off, maybe I should just shop there for a while… I could use some new stuff…" She trailed off, ignoring Loki and Steve going from looking passive to quite uncomfortable, and then she heard an odd sound come from Darcy's left. "… He's under the desk, isn't he?" She asked.

"Yup," Darcy nodded. She pivoted in her chair and gave Tony's behind a quick tap with the arch of her shoe.

Tony groaned, stood up and dusted himself off, pulling at a few of the wrinkles his position had caused. He looked at Pepper, sighed, and looked at Darcy. "E tu, Brutus?"

"It's Brute…" Loki muttered.

"Shut it, Shakespeare," Tony demanded, then looked at Pepper. "Now that just wasn't playing fair."

"Neither is running off when you hear 'business meeting' come out of Mister. Lensherr's mouth. Now come on." She looped her arm through his and proceeded to drag Tony out of the building.

The other people present thought it wise to pretend they didn't see Tony mouth 'help me' several times along the way.

After a few seconds of silence, Bobbi took out her cell phone and dialed a number. She waited a few seconds, then sighed. "Hey, Clint? Bobbi here. We may wanna hurry up with planning Thor and Jane's wedding, because I just found another one we have to plan. Kay? Bye." She hung up, then smiled at Loi and Steve. "Anything else, boys?"

Steve shook his head, and Loki shrugged. "Not really, no. Well, Darce, I have a favor to ask- Look, I'm happy for Jane and Thor and all, but next time you wanna celebrate and squeal about Thor kissing your roommate… lower your voices a bit, will you? Thor's victory smile gets downright disturbing after the third hour and the… twentieth outburst, I believe." He ducked the paperweight that Darcy threw at him a moment later and grabbed Steve's arm before running out of the building.

Bobbi broke up the silence that followed. " _You think he's goooorgeous, you wanna daaaaaaaate him._ "

"Dude, I have another paperweight over here and I'm not afraid to use it."

* * *

Darcy invited herself into the Odinson house for the fifth time that week and sat at the counter dividing the kitchen and living room. Loki and Thor, who were sitting on the floor for reasons unknown to Darcy. She smiled when they didn't even bother looking up. They just muttered, "Hi Darce." It was becoming a new habit.

"Hi Romeo, Hi Shakespeare!" Darcy greeted. "So whatcha doin'?"

"Come over and see. It took us about twenty minutes to figure out what to do and get Mecha over here, so we're not gonna move," Loki replied.

Darcy frowned. "Mecha? Who the Hell is Mecha?" She got up, then hoisted herself onto then over the dividing half wall before stepping behind Thor. "Uh…" She blinked when she saw just what the brothers had been so focused on. "That's an iguana… that's a big-ass iguana." She pointed out.

"Yes, and on top of that, it's a big-ass molting iguana and she's been far too cooped up to do it properly, so here we are, finishing the job." Loki added, picking a bit of dead skin away from the reptile.

"… You guys have a pet iguana? Where do you keep it?"

"Big tank in my room-" Loki began.

"Doesn't it stink up the place?" Darcy asked.

"Course it does, but the landlord okayed it since I'm pretty sure he has a man-crush on Thor like every other guy we come across, and I clean it out enough, so…"

"And how did I not know this?" Darcy asked.

"She usually stays upstairs. She's not quite a people reptile, I suppose…" Loki replied.

"Hm," She leaned over. "Hi, you giant lizard!" She greeted. It hissed at her, and she pulled back. "I see what you mean…" She stuck her tongue out at Mecha, and Mecha followed suit.

"Mm hm," Loki nodded. "I think she's all set now. We can put her back," He told Thor.

Darcy retreated back to the living room when the boys put their random pet away. A couple of minutes later, Loki came down the stairs, dusting himself off. "Anyway, you're obviously here for a reason, what is it?"

"Well, Jane's still reeling from Thor's surprise for her on his birthday, and she was afraid she'd be reduced to giggles if she came over now, so she asked me to ask Thor if he was busy this Saturday, and you, well, ha…"

Loki arched an eyebrow and stopped his walk to the sink in order to lean back. "I don't like that 'ha'…"

"Well, I kinda sorta need you to play my sassy gay friend when I go on this blind date with some guy my friend Kitty set me up with…"

Loki stared at her. An unreadable expression remained on his face for some time. "… Beg pardon?"

"You heard me. Come on, please? Bobbi and Clint have already volunteered to be the straight couple making sure this guy isn't a creep!"

"So why do you need another friend to be there?"

"Closer backup, because now that Clint and Bobbi are actually dating, they're probably gonna get distracted in their own little lovey-dovey-ness, Thor's too… pretty and tough to be the sassy gay friend, not to mention he's taken so having two couples would be weird. Come on, you don't even have to be sassy!"

Loki decided not to nitpick all the mini insinuations she had in there- or the fact that Clint and Bobbi were apparently an item. Hell, people could see that coming from miles away. He sighed. "Fine. When?"

Darcy perked up. "Really?"

Loki shrugged. "It's not like I have anything better to do on a Saturday." He replied. As far as he was concerned, sarcasm was dripping from his voice.

Darcy didn't seem to notice. She merely squealed, flung her arms around him, and gave him a kiss on the cheek, nearly knocking him off the stool he was sitting on in the process. "I don't know what time yet. You're awesome- and smell like reptiles and shit, so go wash your hands or shower or something!" With that, she turned on her heel and promptly scurried out of the house.

Naturally, Thor came down the stairs right when the front door shut. "What was that about?"

"Oh, nothing. I just apparently have to play Darcy's gay friend when she's on a date soon." Loki replied.

Thor stared for a while, and a moment later, was trying very hard to contain laughter.

Loki rolled his eyes. "Go ahead…"

Thor stopped holding it in, and just about doubled over.

"Comment and I'll murder you. Laughing's as far as you can go. And you sound like a bloody seal." Loki cut in, stepping over him. "I'm showering now. Avoid using the water."

Thor just waved his hand dismissively, still being at the complete mercy of his laughter.

Loki contemplated banging his head against the wall. Just what had he signed up to do?


	10. Chapter 10

 

Loki and Clint sat on the edge of the former's bed, staring as the three women all but destroyed his armoire. Every man probably would've liked the sight to behold- a redhead, brunette and blonde all bent over, facing away from them. However, the fact that Darcy had taken one look at his usual jean, t-shirt and button up ensemble, said it 'looked too sloppy for a gay I would be friends with' and demanded to go see his wardrobe and called Bobbi and Pepper in for reinforcements just about killed the mood. Clint, however, was enjoying the view. Loki ducked an undershirt that had sailed towards him and sighed. "Look, is this absolutely necessary? All of you? I'm pretty sure I can dress myself, thanks."

"We want you out of your usual though- oh look, another green and yellow plaid shirt. How many of that combo exists that you don't own? Seriously, do you have anything other than green, yellow, black and white, and that random ugly orange shirt we came across?" Darcy demanded.

* * *

"... But why do I have to be the gay friend again?"

Clint leaned forward and flicked his ear with his middle finger, laughing when Loki jerked away and swatted at him. "Dude, face it. You're pretty. I suggested your pal Steve, but he was busy."

"Shut up. I wasn't talking to you." Loki snapped.

"You love me, don't lie." Clint countered. "If you haven't noticed-"

"I mean, why gay, anyway? I could be the straight friend who's being protective."

Darcy made a face. "Dude, gay works for you. Like Clint said, you're way too pretty to be straight-"

"But I am."

"Shush. I thought you were gay at first anyway, so it works., Darcy finished.

Loki looked at her, then stared ahead, blinked, and looked back at her. "You thought I was gay at first? Why?"

"Uh, dude, you and Thor sounded like you were… gettin' busy against our door the first time we met- well, heard you, anyway," she glanced in the mirror when Clint made a retching sound. "Ay! Joking or not, you puke in this car and you pay for the cleaning or replacement fabric!"

"Hey, you just put the image in my head, Sister!" Clint countered.

"Oh my God. Enough already!" Bobbi finally broke. "Do we even know the guy's name?"

"Joe Knight." Darcy replied.

Loki scoffed. "Right, because that name is real-"

Darcy smacked his arm. "Blind date, remember? Not an online thing."

"Then did your friends meet him online, or…?" When Darcy smacked his arm again, he returned the gesture. "You deserve it for dragging me into this!"

"Dragging you in was Clint's idea!" Darcy objected.

"Ha! I knew it!" Loki turned around. "You're paying for this."

"Put it on my tab, Higgins," Clint countered.

Darcy rolled her eyes, then sighed. A couple of more minutes of silence, then she pulled into a bar's driveway. "Good, we're here. Now, behave."

Loki leaned forward and swatted at Clint again when the man started fiddling with his shirt collar. "What're you doing _now_?"

"Making you one of those stylish gays- you know the ones who totally judge you and-"

"I really don't like where this conversation is going…" Loki sighed.

"Dude, I'm eighty percent sure 'Tasha's a lesbian and she doesn't care, therefore I'm in the clear," Clint replied. He slapped Loki's hand down when he went to fix his collar. "Leave it. Trust me-"

"You know, the last time you told me to trust you I ended up in prison for three days."

Darcy arched an eyebrow and looked at the pair of them. "… That happens a lot to you 'cause of friends then, huh?"

"Yes. Proof I need to find new ones." Loki replied. "… Or find a way to commit murder and get away with it." He looked at Clint as he opened the co-passenger door. "Starting with you,"

"I'll let you borrow my rifle to attempt it then laugh when you can't work it." Clint countered, opening his own door.

Bobbi proceeded to shove Clint out of the car, then climbed out behind him. "Alright, let's go before it comes to blows. Darce, what's this guy wearing?"

"Blue jeans, black button down, leather bracelet."

"As if that won't describe every man in here…" Loki muttered, successfully dodging Darcy's elbow when she tried to ram it into his side. They made it inside, and Darcy proceeded to lead them into the back corner by one of the pool tables. Clint was mid-quip about Darcy trying to intimidate the date by their placement alone when Darcy delivered a light to kick his shin.

They stared at the door for a while, waiting, and then when they spotted a young man fitting Darcy's description, Bobbi and Clint turned to see her reaction- just in time to see both Loki and Darcy go wide-eyed, look at each other, then duck behind the pool table.

Clint moved to the side to accommodate letting them hide. After a moment, he arched an eyebrow. "Well, that's the fastest rejection I've ever seen."

"It's not about the guy, it's about who he's with," Darcy hissed.

Clint looked up, then looked at the man walking beside the one who was apparently Joe. He recognized Hank, then nodded. "Ah. So you see your ex who sent you guys to prison, and you hide? Lo, what happened to your whole 'punch him for his trouble' thing we talked about before?" He hid a wince when Loki punched his foot. "Hey, maybe Hank has no idea that you're the blind date for this guy. Unsuspecting wingman? Maybe he's playing gay best friend, too. Maybe Loki can hit on him for his trouble and say the drama he started turned him gay, and- Ow!" He stepped back when Loki punched him harder in the shin, then again on the foot. "Fine, shutting up." He snorted when Loki lifted one hand around the side of the table so it was the only thing visible, then flipped him off. "Dude, he's not gonna start shit when I'm here and I handed him his ass a couple of weeks back. Come out. Fine, backup plan. Loki, you're just here to get over your recent break up and find a gal, because you're too much of an airhead to think that may be a bad idea with Darcy here-" Another punch to his foot. "Okay, fine! Uncle! Now come on, we'll make it up as we go."

Darcy sighed. "No, not gonna do that. I'm gonna give this guy a shot." She looked at the ones she had recently coined 'Her Boys.' "Since you two know him, keep Hank away, please? Bobbi will tear him a new one, judging by her reaction when I told her the story about the whole hiding-in-the-bush thing."

The men looked at the woman in question, and she crossed her arms and shrugged, fully copping to the accusation. "No one messes with my girl like that but me," she replied.

The men turned their attention back to each other. "Alright, which of us is spilling their drink on him?" Clint asked.

"Oh, I need to," Loki replied.

Clint made a face. "Dude, I get you're angry, but… Hank's a douche back at the station when we see each other. He's the… Earle to my Phelps. The Lando to my Han, the Megatron to my Opt-"

"I get it," Loki put his hand up to dismiss the comment, then curled his fingers into a fist.

Clint did the same, and the two went into a game of rock, paper scissors. Darcy just stared at them, not at all expecting either of them to be ones who would go by that theory. Two tries in, Loki won, and upon realizing he would hear Clint whine incessantly if he didn't, instructed Clint to come over as the 'drunk friend' within five minutes of the drink spilling. The younger man sidled on over to the bar, managing to avoid 'Joe King's' eyeline. He ordered the cheapest drink he could, then continued to sidle on over to Hank. He inhaled sharply, planned his steps, and took them. He managed to fake tripping and spilling the drink that Clint did a double-take, making sure his friend hadn't actually started to faceplant. When he was satisfied that wasn't the case, he glanced back, only to see Joe walking over, having spotted Darcy. He grabbed Bobbi's hand and darted to the opposite corner with her.

On the other side, Loki was trying his best not to get Hank to see him as he stepped back. "Oh, I'm sorry, I can be so clumsy sometimes…" He glanced up and let the real distaste begin. "Oh, it's you…"

Hank wasn't far behind. "Likewise. Can't you look where you're going for once, or is Darcy your eyesight as well as your conscience?"

Loki snorted and contemplated decking the man, but A, he wasn't going to jail on account of the guy again, and B, Thor wasn't there to see that Loki did have some of those moments. He hated his next option, but that's how it seemed like it should go. It would "Um, look. We got off on the wrong foot. Let's start over, shall we?" He extended his hand for a shake, only to have Clint slam right into his arm.

"Babe, there you are!" Clint called, hurrying over in order to greet Loki with a swat on the ass. 

Loki reeled back for a second.

Clint turned into hhim so Hank couldn't see him or hear him speaking over the music. "Go with it, you idiot." He hissed.

"Thought I was single," Loki countered.

"New plan," Clint replied, then turned to Hank. "Oh, hey, Dude, you're the- you're the dude that I work with! The dude that… Hey, weren't you- hic- the reason I found this guy?" He put one arm around Loki and pretended to stumble.

Hank arched an eyebrow. "I thought you and my ex were together?"

Loki scoffed. "Yes, well, getting thrown in prison over a girl twice can do that and make you question a few things."

Hank's frown deepened. "Riiiiiiight." He glanced to the side, then spotted Darcy and Joe talking. "The Hell… your ex-girlfriend is here and you're… with a guy and having a grand old time?"

Loki hesitated, then glanced back, seeing Joe had made it over to Darcy, and the two were already talking with smiles on their faces. He saw Bobbi, who was crowded into the corner looking back at her boys with a 'help' look. He jerked his head towards them, and Bobbi pushed off the wall to start making it over to them. Loki turned back around, threw caution and pride to the wind and put his arms around Clint's neck. "Why the Hell not? Can't have anything hold me back, right?" He looked at Clint, who grinned and nodded.

Hank tried to hide a flinch. "Yeah, sure."

Clint turned in order to drown out the growl of disgust that he couldn't stop coming from his throat, then turned back. "So, Hankie Babe, what brings you here?" He asked, pressing his cheek to Loki's. If he was able to mess around with the taller man, to which the other couldn't protest, he was going to milk every second of it.

Hank rolled his eyes. "I'm my pal Joe's wingman for a date who's apparently Darcy. Small damn world."

"Ain't it?" Clint agreed. "Well, 'scuse us, you kinda caught us at a bad time, getting new drinks, so…"

"Right, yeah, bye," Hank replied dismissively, immediately looking back at Darcy.

Loki, having a sudden sense of protectiveness over the girl, advanced a step.

Clint noticed and pulled him back. "Come on, Lover!" He called, then turned sharply when he felt someone touch his arm. He saw it was Bobbi and smiled. "Hey, Hankie! Ha, Hankie. You're a tissue. I didn't catch that the first time. Anyway, have you met my sister, uh, Jules? That's it, Jules!"

Hank glanced at Bobbi, turning on the charm. "No, I haven't. Hi, I'm Hank. I'm a friend of theirs." He winked and offered his hand.

Clint grimaced, then put one arm over Bobbi's shoulders and repositioned the other over Loki's, pivoted, and had them all head for the bar to their right. "I hate that guy…" He announced once they were at least a few feet away and Hank seemed perfectly happy to be rid of them. They settled in, and then once they ordered and received their drinks, Clint looked at Loki. "Awesome, bro. Next time I need an overly-cuddly gay lover, I'll come to you."

"Don't you dare." Loki replied. "Shit, we saved you Bobbi, and left Darcy alone." He looked over to their previous corner, and saw Darcy was still talking to Joe, except the distance between them had been cut in half. He clenched his jaw, and subconiously his fist around his drink as well. He turned to face the bar again. After a few seconds, he sighed and turned around, downing his drink. He ordered a refill, downed that one, then turned and glared daggers at Joe.

Bobbi noted the behavior and elbowed Clint.

Clint, in turn, didn't seem surprised at all. He put down his drink. "Dude, just go after her. Thor got Jane. You get the girl now. She obviously likes you."

Three days later when Loki saw Clint again, he would chalk his reply up to 'alchohol- enduced.' He merely sighed, put his drink down and asked, "I would, but… what would she want with me?" sounding untterly defeated. "She's pretty, and funny, and… just amazing, and what am I? A miserable oaf complaining about being in my brother's shadow while accidentally shooting down all of her jokes. It's hopeless."

"Awww!" Bobbi squeaked, sliding off her seat in order to give the man a hug.

When Clint saw Loki merely buzzed his lips and leaned into her, Clint slid off his own seat. "Alright, that's enough for tonight. If Joe asks, we all came in the same damn car. The guy's a douche if he's friends with Hank anyway." He turned to stand on the first set of rungs on his barstool. "HEY, DARCE!" He called over the music.

To his surprise, Darcy heard him on the first attempt.

Clint pointed at his watch. When his eyes met Hank's, who was hitting on another girl a few feet away, he practically yelped before surging down, practically pinning Loki to the bar before leaning over him so their mouths were about an inch apart, hoping it would look like one Hell of a kiss from that distance.

Bobbi caught on and almost choked on her drink as she tried to hold back laughter.

Not at all expecting the change of relative gravities, flailed for a bit, accidentally hooking one of his leg's around Clint's. Somehow his sober mind caught on and released him a moment later, just as Clint let go of him and sat back up. "The Hell was that?"

"Eh, Hank was looking over!"

"But we convinced him alrea- oooh. My head." Loki cut himself off, just about slamming his forehead down on the bar. "Yes, leaving would be good now."

Darcy reached them a moment later. "Hey, did you guys just make out for a bet or something?" She looked at Bobbi. "How come I always miss the good stuff and you always see it?" She demanded.

"Oh, trust me. That was luck."

Clint clicked his tongue "Yeah, Hank was Joe's wingman, by the way."

Darcy's smile faded. "What?"

Clint nodded. "Yeah. We ran interference 'cause we're awesome friends. Stuck with your original idea."

"Ah," Darcy raised her eyebrows. "Well, I think your fantastic fake-gay love killed Loki."

Clint frowned and turned around. When he discovered Loki was now out cold as opposed to just in pain, he poked his friend. "Hey, Lo? Since when were you such a lightweight?" He poked him again, and when Loki didn't respond, he sighed. "Alright, home time for us. Hey Darce, you get your guy's number?"

Darcy nodded again, then looked at Loki. "… Is he alive?"

"Yeah, he's good. Just fired back a couple too many in the last couple of minutes."

Darcy arched an eyebrow again. "Why?"

"No reason. Just havin' a good time." Bobbi cut in.

Clint motioned at her, then got ready to pay for the drinks. When he found he was a couple of dollars short, he reached over, dug into Loki's pocket, and took his wallet. He used some of his cash to pay for what was left. When he went to pocket one of Loki's remaining ten dollar bills, he received a slap to the arm from both girls. "Ow! Oh, come on. You would totally do it too!" He rolled his eyes, then nodded at the door. "Fine. Let's go. I'll get Lo." He sidled over to Loki, then pulled the other man's arm over his shoulders.

* * *

After they had dropped Bobbi off, Clint and Darcy arrived back at the complexes. They were puzzled to find the door was locked. Darcy had to scoff when Clint pulled out a lockpicking kit and made it in, practically dumping Loki on the couch. He left, offering to walk Darcy home, even if it was only a few feet. Once they got inside, the two were met by the sight of Jane and Thor curled up together on the couch, fast asleep with the T.V on.

Clint pointed back towards the Odinson house. "… I'll stay with him, make sure he doesn't die." He offered.

"Thank you," Darcy beamed before he made a quick exit. She closed and locked the door and glanced back at the couple on the couch. They're so adorable it's vomit worthy. We called it. Awesome. She pumped her fist in the air before attempting to sneak up the stairs and to her room as quietly as possible. That, of course, resulted in her nearly knocking over about four things. However, she managed to catch or steady all of them, and no further damage was done. As far as she was concerned, it was a pretty damn good day.


	11. Chapter 11

If it was one thing that the Odinsons didn't expect from Darcy and Jane, it was hearing them screaming in the early afternoon. When they bolted over and made it to their front door, they were confused to say the least when Jane and opened the door, and the boys saw that they were both unharmed and alone- but that didn't stop them from shrieking again and dragging them inside. The brothers looked at each other and arched an eyebrow when they could've sworn they finally made out 'kill it' within the shrieks. When the girls led them to the bathroom and they saw the cause of the ruckus- a spider in the upper right corner of the room. Loki exhaled sharply, muttered something about 'going back to bed.' When Darcy smacked his arm and motioned at the spider. "Eaaaahhhh!" She finally forced out when words failed her.

"What? It's gonna crawl away sometime!" Loki protested.

"No! Do you see the size of that thing?" Darcy demanded.

"It's  _huge_!" Jane insisted.

Darcy pointed at her. "That's what she said- but seriously, that thing is the size of the quarter and I want it gone!"

"Oh please…" Loki rolled his eyes.

Thor sighed. "Fine, then…" He raised his foot to get the sneaker he had more or less just yanked on without typing up two minutes prior.

"Don't kill it!" Loki protested.

"Yes, kill it! Kill it  _dead_!" Darcy nodded.

"Jane, get a glass, or a cup or something." Loki instructed.

Jane seemed more than happy to leave the room.

"What? Why a cup? You're gonna set it free?" Darcy asked.

"Yes, that would be the general idea," Loki replied. He turned to Jane when she came back, and took the glass from her. He sidled over, then put it over the spider so it fell further in. Later, he'd deny jumping in alarm when the girls let out yelps when they saw the arachnid drop. He sighed. "Terribly misunderstood creatures, spiders…"

"Stop being British again and get that the Hell out of the house or go drown it!" Darcy insisted.

Loki shot her a glare. "You know, I would be happily sleeping in right now if I hadn't heard you screaming over something so pointless as this," he replied before taking the cup and leaving the room to let the spider go outside. Darcy followed at his heels, making sure the spider didn't have a vendetta to come back and torment them again. Once the spider had scurried away, Loki straightened out and looked at her. "Right, now that you two are out of the life-threatening danger that your screaming implied you were in, I'm going to bed so I don't punch Stark in the face next time he suggests helping me with the fireworks on set would be a 'fantastically amazing' idea."

"Oh, if you don't get enough sleep and he does suggest it, can you at least get Steve or someone to record that for me?" Darcy asked.

Loki scoffed. "No thank you. I already have to deal with issues involving you and him every time he wants to come on any of the sets I go on. Hell, he's followed me for three sets now, talking about some ass that you apparently know and complain about. He talks about… John or whatever his name is like I'm supposed to know him."

Darcy blinked a couple of times, searching for a response. She thought of the simplest one and went with it. "… Imagine that."

Loki shook his head. "I don't get what it is with me being thrown about in your life where other men are concerned. It's a fair bit frightening. Anyway good night- morning…  _afternoon_ \- whatever," he turned on his heel and headed back for his condo.

Darcy watched him, buzzed her lips, then looked at the ground. Upon seeing the spider that started the trouble suddenly turn around and head back towards the door, she grabbed the nearest stick off the ground and tossed it at the spider. "No! Stay back, you little creep!" She nodded in satisfaction when the spider reversed course and headed for the grass again. "Yeah, you better run!" She turned back and kicked the door shut, going back inside, where Thor was teasing Jane about her own shrieks on account of their small intruder. "Hey, the Hell with you, Gigantor. That thing was terrifying." She countered. When Thor just chuckled, she plopped onto one of the couches. "So, where are you two lovebirds headed today?"

"Park," Jane replied simply.

Darcy rolled her eyes. "You two are so bland it's adorable."

Thor shrugged. "I'll take bland over nearly getting the other party arrested a couple of times…" He countered. When Darcy narrowed her eyes at him, he merely smiled, reached over and ruffled her hair. She pulled back and swatted at his hand.

Thor straightened out, then looked at Jane. "Well, now that that's over, wanna get an early start on the day?"

Jane beamed, then looped her arm through his when he offered his elbow.

Darcy shook her head and rolled her eyes again. She reached over to get her phone and started up a text message to Bobbi to see if she had plans. She wasn't at all surprised to find out her friend was going out with Clint after he came back from 'another adventure where he kicked ass and took names.' She groaned, collapsed back onto the couch again, and resorted to channel surfing. She would bother at least one of them later.

* * *

"So… Loki and I have the brothers-and-therefore-have-to-stick-together-in-semi-bad-times thing, but… how did you and Darcy come to be? I honestly don't think that's been established yet." Thor pointed out as the pair continued to walk along a dirt path in the nearby park. "We've just kinda… considered you two to be sisters and that's why clashing personalities work, and left it at that."

Jane laughed, then sighed. "Wow. Well, where do I begin? Well, I used to babysit her as a kid. When Darcy and her parents moved to Colorado for a while, we lost touch completely… and I needed an assistant with a bunch of science projects- all forms of Astronomy, really, and she was the only one who applied, and… she just didn't work out to well in that, and we actually got into some big argument and she said something that made me realize it was that pain in the neck kid from all those years ago. About two hours later we were best friends, and here we are, trying to make it by in this crazy economy." Jane replied. "What about you and Loki? I mean, we've gotten some of the story, but not all of it…"

Thor shrugged. "Well, there's not much to tell that we haven't already. Of course, being brothers it was rough. I was the jock throughout all the school years, he was the bookworm- Hell, there were jokes about me being a jock and him being a band geek- which is exactly why he never picked up an instrument in his life." He shrugged. "The typical big-brother-and-his-shadow thing kept up for years- you've seen it. Clint told you about the thing with Loki trying so hard to please our parents." He shrugged. "I honestly feel bad sometimes. I love him, and to thing I've put him through that sometimes…"

Jane sighed and tightened her hold on his arm, pressing further against him. "Hey, it's not like you did it on purpose. It comes with the territory. I have a little sister. We were like that and it didn't… exactly work out well. You two still speak and… at least seem to get along a good amount of the time. My sister and I… … not so much."

Thor frowned, then nodded in understanding. "Well, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I suppose."

Jane paused in consideration, then nodded and smiled. "I guess so. Still hurts, though."

"That's life, unfortunately." Thor agreed.

Jane laughed weakly. "How come you always have the perfect philosophical thing to say?"

Thor shrugged. "I grew up and live with Loki who never stops talking like that," he replied.

Jane laughed harder no. "Careful. The next time the prank war continues I can tell him you blamed him and he can turn against you more than Darcy."

"You wouldn't dare," Thor countered.

"Stay on my good side and I won't." Jane replied with yet another smile, then went up on her tiptoes in order to give him a quick peck on the lips before cuddling further into him again and leaning forward to continue the walk.

"I'll keep that in mind. So, how did you know so much about my family's namesakes?" Thor asked.

"Eh, too much research in high school Mythology for my own good." Jane replied. "I had a really cute teacher, which helped?"

"Cuter than me?" Thor arched an eyebrow, then released Jane in order to cross his arms. "Impossible,"

"Debatable," Jane replied, then giggled when Thor offered a mock pout. "Fine. Debatable any other time but now."

"I'll take that," Thor smirked. "I still find that impossible, but I'll take it," he reiterated.

Jane rolled her eyes. "You're as bad as Darcy."

Thor shrugged. "Well, she and I do make a Hell of a team."

"Please. Loki and I are so gonna win that prank war. Genius always wins over ego."

Thor chuckled, then rubbed her shoulder. "We'll see about that when they start up the war again."

"I'll look forward to that." Thor replied. "Whatever shall we do in the meantime?"

"A lot of this?" Jane suggested.

"Works well enough for me," Thor replied, then glanced down at his pocket when he heard his cell phone ring. He got it and answered it. "Hello?" He paused, and Jane frowned when she saw him go from looking mildly concerned to amused. She waited as he asked "What happened? Where?" and then merely a few "hm"s before he promised to be wherever he was asked to be in a few minutes. He hung up. "Well, that was the hospital… … and Clint."

Jane's look of curiosity went to concern of her own again. "What happened?"

"Clint got shot- nothing bad. Just a thin graze. Apparently he was in a bad spot because the robber they were after spotted him and returned fire. I heard him complaining about wanting to leave before he had to experience hospital food, so he's clearly alright." Thor replied, adding the last bit quickly upon seeing Jane's jaw drop. "You don't mind if I cut this short to see him, do you?"

Jane shook her head rapidly. "No, no. Why don't we both go? I call him a friend, too."

Thor nodded appreciatively, and then moved his arm so they could turn back towards the parking lot again. "Next time will be dinner so we can hopefully avoid this kind of thing." Thor offered.

"I'll hold you to that. Now come on. Clint'll never let us live it down if we're not by his side within twenty minutes," Jane replied.

Thor chuckled. "It worries me that you've known him a couple of months and you already know that about him."

Jane shrugged. "Did a lot of psych work, too." She replied.

The two reached the parking lot, made it to the car, and made quick work of starting on their way to the hospital.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Thor poked his head into Clint's assigned hospital room and smiled when the said man glanced up from Bobbi to his friend. "Hey, Brother!" He greeted.

Thor mock saluted, then stepped inside, with Jane at his heels.

Bobbi smiled at them and got up from the chair she was in before sliding onto the bed on Clint's good side so both of the new visitors had a place to sit.

Jane took her seat in the chair closest to the wall, and Thor took the other. "So, how are you feeling?" Thor asked. He glanced at the bandage on the other man's left arm. He wasn't lying- it didn't seem bad- it had a small amount of blood visible through the bandage, but it did cover a small amount. "You prove ninety five percent invulnerable once again." He quipped.

"You bet," Clint winked at him. "So, your brother enjoying the news too much to visit?"

Thor laughed. "No, just busy. Stark's just annoying him again. He did promise to stop by, even if he thinks 'you had it coming'," Thor replied.

Clint shrugged, then glanced at Jane. "Hey, I didn't interrupt ahem- anything, did I?" He waggled his eyebrows.

Jane blushed, Thor didn't look at all surprised, and Bobbi punched him lightly in the rib. "Ow! Injured and heavily medicated right now!" Clint protested.

"Oh yes, you're fine," Thor sighed, then reached over and clapped the man on the knee. "You're an idiot. I'm glad you're okay."

Clint beamed. "Thank you, Brother."

The four looked up when another visitor came in. This one, however, was unknown to all but Clint. He was tan-skinned, with dark, wavy hair and wore a doctor's coat that seemed at least a couple of sixes too large. He saw the other visitors and frowned. "Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you had company. I can come back later and do the checks…"

Clint waved him off. "Hey, it's just checking the monitors and crap, right Doc? Just tell them to move their asses if they're in the way."

The doctor let out a nervous laugh. "Right, won't go that far, Mister Barton." He arched an eyebrow at the vistors. "Any of you his family or future ride home or something?"

Clint pointed at Bobbi, "Girlfriend," to Thor, "Might as well be my brother," to Jane, "Pretty much my future might-as-well-be-sister-in-law."

Jane turned red again, and Thor promptly facepalmed.

Clint rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, people. I can see it now- lily white wedding- flowers and simple, gorgeous shit everywhere and Jane looking like a bombshell in her dress and Thor dapper as ever and the reception with no dancing because you two would be too terrified of showing off your lack of dancing skills, and-" He was cut off by Bobbi covering his mouth.

Thor laughed, then looked at the doctor. "How drugged up is he?"

The doctor offered a guilty smile. "Quite a bit. Probably a little more than necessary but the guy was actually taking a few swings because he was so determined to prove he was okay to himself,  even if he was bleeding like crazy for a bit. Sorry for the visual," he added the last part after a moment. "So, what was he going on about Thor now? He's not hallucinating, is he?"

Thoe laughed again. "No. It's my name, actually. I know, ridiculous."

The doctor shrugged. "Hey, I don't judge like that. I'm Doctor Bruce Banner by the way, in case any of you are those types who look up the doctors taking care of their loved ones more carefully than government agencies search people."

The gathered crowd stared for a moment, then laughed.

Bruce let out another nervous laugh, seeming relieved he got that reaction. "Right…" He nodded. He maneuvered around to the various machines around the room, scribbling notes on a sheet of paper that was on a clipboard. "So far, so good. I assume Clint's given you the low down on what happened. It's a light graze. Nothing severe. He should be fine. We'll just keep him overnight to make sure nothing goes wrong. Well, I might see the rest of you, I may not, so, have a good day." He turned and left.

After a couple of moments, Clint hummed. "… He's too cheerful for a man who spends his life in a hospital." He mused. Before the others could so much as respond, the S.W.A.T member looked distant before his eyes closed slowly, and was snoring within a minute.

Thor blinked at him for a moment. "Well, that was anti-climactic…"

"At least we saw him before the meds got to him." Jane offered.

"That's true," Thor nodded. "Bobbi, we were in the middle of a date when we got the call, so now that he's out cold…"

Bobbi waved her hand dismissively. "Go, you crazy cats. I'll stay with him. He'll understand. If the man's planning your wedding he obviously approves tenfold." She replied, scooting closer to him and wrapping her arms around his right arm.

The others nodded in reply and said their goodbyes before heading for the exit.

Once they were out,  Jane burst out laughing.

Thor arched an eyebrow. "Clint in general, or something he said?"

"The last one- well, the first, too. Promise you won't freak out if I say what got me," she insisted, clasping his hand closest to her in both of hers.

Thor glanced ahead, then shrugged. "Alright…"

Jane shook her head. "I'm not pushing or anything 'cause I'm not that kind of girl and all, but Darcy thought up the exact same scenario if you and I got married- down to the cursing."

Thor laughed. "Ah, no harm done, and that doesn't surprise me at all." He leaned over. "They're obviously plotting together."

"We need to start separating those two."

Thor snorted. "Good luck with that one."

"We can try, can't we?" Jane offered.

Thor smiled again, then wrapped an arm around her, continuing to walk towards his car. "That we can. No promises in so much as succeeding in the least, though."

* * *

Darcy had had a rough day at work. Being that Tony Stark had decided to shadow Loki for the day, the building had at least six times the calls for him they usually had- half of them demanding where he was. Darcy, of course, had tried to go with the 'in a long, important meeting' approach, but like she had a moment after she said it, no one believed her. She had promptly claimed something was on fire and hung up. She was pleasantly surprised when she spotted Loki talking with a tall, blonde man dressed in a black suit in front of one of the restaurants she and Jane had used to go to religiously on the way home. She pulled over as soon as she could, and walked over to him.

Loki did not at all expect the resulting hug from behind he got. He glanced at his companion closest to him, who merely arched an eyebrow, then at the two other brunette men at the table a few feet away he had occupied minutes ago, who looked more confused than anything.

"Work sucks," Darcy announced into his back.

Loki sighed, turned around in her arms, returned the hug awkwardly, then turned her around again so he was facing the blond again. He shot a look at the other two who 'awwww'ed. "Oh, shut it. You forget I can rig things up so you go up in flames with the motorcycles when we're in California," he threatened.

"Bring it, Green Eyes," The older brunette man replied. The younger laughed in response.

Darcy pushed her hair out of her face. "California? What? And who are these people?" She looked at the blonde, who had a look of mixed boredom and curiousity. How that was possible, she would never know, but she was most definitely looking at it.

Loki motioned at the blonde. "This is Stark's personal assistant, James Jarvis. He's trying to get the man off my back since he nearly blew all three of us up today, and those two over there are stuntmen. The one with the ridiculous hair is Logan Howlett, and the one who's eyeing you like a piece of meat _when he shouldn't_ is Wade Wilson."

Logan nodded a greeting, while Wade winked and said, "Howdy." Logan leaned back in his chair. "And… you are, Sweetheart?"

"Darcy Lewis, his neighbor. Seriously, are you going to California and not inviting me, Dude?" Darcy demanded, looking at Loki.

Loki gaped at her. "I wasn't-"

Wade came to the rescue… that ended up getting Loki in deeper water, as far as the latter was concerned. "Oh, you're Darcy. No wonder Lo is so protect-" He jerked when Logan kicked him in the shin and offered a 'stop' look. "-IVE! Ow! In a totally… fraternal way of course."

Darcy waved, then turned back to Loki. "Seriously though, California and no invite?"

"I'm not even inviting Thor! It's business!" Loki argued.

"I'm buying a ticket tomorrow. You're giving me info. A vacation would be fantabulous. Buy me a drink after the Hell I went through today?"

Loki looked at James. "I don't have a choice, do I?"

James offered a tight lipped smile and shook his head. "The problem with men and women- women always win no matter how hard you try." He clapped Loki on the bicep. "Good luck. As for Anthony, I'll see what I can do. No promises, though."

"I don't expect much." Loki replied. "That's not against you, that's-"

"Stark, I know." James nodded. "For your sake, I hope he listens. Now, I have to go before he finds someone else to coerce into doing something that will end in him being sued. If you'll excuse me…" He turned and left.

Loki closed his eyes, shook his head, and returned to his friends. When he saw that Wade and Darcy were already in a conversation, grinning from ear to ear and Logan looked like he wasn't sure if he wanted to know what came next, he replaced his chair next to them and shouldered his way in between them. "No California,"

"Yes, California!" Darcy objected.

"No, because if you do, I'm going to have to babysit you all the time." Loki objected.

"You won't!" Darcy objected.

"Yes I will! You see one of the big names on set and have a fit and not leave." Loki insisted.

Darcy gawked. "I will not!" She looked at Logan. "You! Stranger! Tell him I won't!"

Logan arched an eyebrow, then shrugged. "I don't know, Sweetheart. That usually does happen."

"Happened with my girl back in the day," Wade agreed.

"No, that happened 'cause you were boning another girl on the side," Logan replied.

Darcy snorted, then looked at Loki. "Soooo, I'm still totally feeling betrayed that my best friend is not taking me to California..."

"Oh, shut it. You want your drink or not?"

* * *

"Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane! Loki's being a jackass!" Darcy called about an hour later as she entered their condo. However, the conflict died quick when she smelled something cooking. "Hey Jane, who's the cook you hired? Last I checked neither of our concoctions smell that good," she walked into the kitchen, not at all expecting to see Thor hovering over a pizza that looked homemade, with Jane giggling at his efforts right beside him. "Holy shit. You learned! I'm so proud!"

Thor glanced up at her and smiled, then turned his attention back to the pizza, poking around the toppings like something was rigged to explode if one thing turned out uneven. "Jane's in the bathroom. What did my brother do now?"

"He's not taking me to California.  _California!_ " Darcy replied.

Both stared at her, then laughed. "You're ridiculous." Thor added.

"Buuuut, that's why you love me, right?" Darcy countered. She went over to him. "You would totally take me to California since I'm awesome, even if it was business, right?"

Thor shrugged. "Possibly? Of course I'd take my girlfriend over you first, but there's still the possibility if you paid your own way."

Darcy squeaked in approval, then hugged him. "That's why you're really my favorite brother." She kissed him on the cheek, then took a piece of pepperoni off the pizza and popped it in her mouth, despite Thor's protest.

When she skipped away, calling thanks over her shoulder, Jane also took a piece. Thor shook his head and gave up. He wrapped his arms around her, tucking his chin on her shoulder. "Alright, so what's next?"

She skipped towards her room, trying to formulate a plan on how the Hell her latest mission would succeed. She was going to California- whether the others liked it or not.

 


	13. Chapter 13

 

"So… … your friends are quite the entertainers, I see…" Erik Selvig mused, backpedaling a couple of steps as Fandral shouted a warning in order for him to be able to pass through the room without hitting him square in the face with the large tray of food he was carrying. He chuckled appreciatively, looking as a bunch of people set up for the barbeque that the Odinsons had been setting up 'with the permission of the landlord- who demanded an invite.'

Darcy nodded. "Yeah. They're practically naturally born entertainers. Ya know, except when one of them needs to go the entertainment capitol of the world he doesn't want compan-"

"Darcy!" Jane hissed.

Darcy shrugged and smiled innocently. "Where are they, anyway?" She asked. She spotted Volstagg in the crowd, chatting with Odin and Frigga. "Yo! Where are the hosts?"

Volstagg turned, then pointed a chicken wing towards the house. "Fandral accidently let Mecha escape, so Loki's chasing after him, and Thor's getting to know some of Loki's stunt double friends on the other side of that wall."

"I Did not let her out! You did!" Fandral objected.

"Well then, you started the chain of events that made me!" Volstagg countered.

The two glared at each other, then seemed to look puzzled. They looked back at each other. "Hogun did it?" They asked each other at the same time, then, realizing what they did, nodded in confirmation. "Hogun did it."

Erik looked at Jane. "Wait… you were serious about all the names? Thor, Loki, Hogun? Fandral… I suppose the older one's Volstagg and Sif is around somewhere?" He asked.

"Yeah. They all blame their parents and grandparents. They like to go by nicknames. The blonde one that got accused first, Fandral- goes by Andy or Fan. Hogun… well, he likes Hogun, but they call him Gun a lot, Volstagg is Stag, and Loki, who you'll meet soon is Lo," she explained.

"Right. I'll keep that in mind. So where's your man I've heard so much about?"

"Should be around here somewhere," Jane replied. "Did we find out where they were or did those two just blame Hogun and that was that?"

"Blame," Fandral cut in, approaching them. "And if they got Iggy, then I'm sure they're sharing some of Thor's success stories with the neighbors." He explained, then looked at Erik, offering his hand. "Hello! As you heard, I'm Fandral slash Andy- friend of the Odinsons. You are…?"

"Erik Selvig. Long-time family friend of Jane's family- one of her coworkers, as well." Erik replied.

Volstagg wandered over in order to introduce himself, and once they were done, they turned in time to see Loki walking out of his condo- looking quite annoyed.

Jane looked at Darcy. "You're up," She mused.

Darcy nodded, then headed over to him. "Howdy, Stranger."

"Hi," He sighed.

"Hey, if you guys started this party, shouldn't you be more like this?" She poked the sides of his mouth and pushed them up.

Loki swatted her hands away. "I'm fine. Just…my parents are in there with a bunch of our friends, and they're talking about raising us, and then it just leads to all of Thor's accomplishments and I just end up being a footnote. Typical." He scoffed.

"It may be typical, but guess what? You turned out just fine. Who needs tales of glory when you have sarcasm, good looks and a voice like that in your arsenal, huh?"

Loki smiled weakly, then noticed Erik. "Hello…?"

Erik offered his hand quickly and Loki shook it. "Erik Selvig, family friend of Jane's. So, you're Loki. Heard a lot about you from the girls." He patted Jane and Darcy on the back.

Loki nodded. "Same goes for you, sir."

"Oh, call me Erik, please," Erik waved his hand dismissively.

Loki nodded, then sighed and motioned back into the condo. "You all must've just gotten here. Come get a drink. Thor's inside." He pointed at Fandral, who had gone back to manning the barbeque. "Don't burn anything!"

Fandral mock bowed, then waved farewell as Loki led them inside.

Once they got inside and drinks were distributed, they waited, and sure enough, Thor joined them within a few moments. However, it was when Erik and Thor made eye contact that the feeling in the room changed. It seemed like Erik was playing father and sizing up Thor right off the bat- and it was still nerve-wracking for the ones not present. Darcy, who was standing closest to Erik, scooted back over to Loki. "So, California…" She whispered.

"We'll talk about it later," Loki muttered out of the corner of his mouth, watching his brother and Erik shake hands. It was a very tight, strong handshake, at that, and even he was nervous for Thor.

Erik finally spoke. "Heard a lot about you, my boy. It's good to finally put a face to the man named for the God of Thunder- Hell, you even look like the legends say he did."

Thor shrugged and laughed. "Beyond lucky coincidence," he replied.

"I'll say!" Erik nodded, then patted the man on the shoulder. "Come on for a minute. Walk with me," he led him out, then down the hallway that branched off from the living room.

"Oh boy," Jane sighed, then took a large swig of her drink.

"That bad, hm?" Loki asked.

"Well, being that since my Dad died a while back and Erik kinda filled that gap, yeah, think overprotective Dad but just a little worse."

Loki shook his head. "I'm sure enough it's just getting to know him a bit if he's like a father to you." He offered.

"I hope so," Jane replied.

* * *

"So, Jane seems quite fond of you lately," Eric mused to Thor, glancing down at his drink as he did so.

Thor nodded. "And I her."

"Good, good!" Erik smiled, but it faded quickly. "Look, I'm sorry that I'm bringing this up since we've just met, but as the closest thing to Jane's father, I might as well start the speech…"

Thor, assuming what was coming, relaxed his shoulders and offered a close-lipped smile, trying to look as open and understanding as possible.

Erik nodded and smiled back, then sighed. "Yes, it's the usual. She's not the big romantic. She's been hurt more than once- and one took a toll on her. So just… be… aware, that if something does go wrong, and if you end up hurting her, you'll have me to answer to."

Thor nodded. "Dually noted, sir. And if it makes you feel better, I assure you if anything goes wrong and we part ways, there won't be any hurting done on my part. I'm not that sort."

"Then we shouldn't have an issue," Erik replied, then leaned back, losing the slight intimidation factor he had picked up. "Alright, now that that part of the conversation is over, tell me about yourself. What do you do and all that…?"

* * *

"Erik murdered your brother," Darcy announced, straining to put her chin on at least the bottom of Loki's shoulder as much as she could.

Loki glanced down at her. "You think he's that bad? Didn't seem all that frightening when I just met him."

"Eh, he's like that with Jane all the time. He's kinda my backup dad too, but he never did the protective treatment with me. Even with Hank, he just gave me a 'plenty of fish in the sea' pep talk and that was it."

Loki sighed. "Ah, so you're no stranger to the neglected child feeling," he replied.

"Yeah, we're old friends." Darcy agreed. "So yeah, we're in the same club. You know what that means?"

"If you're about to mention California let me stop you now," Loki cut in.

Darcy laughed. "Fine. You win for now- just 'cause this is one Hell of an occasion." She turned. "Oh! Fanny and Stag are doing a drinking contest! It's Gimli and Legolas all over again!" She called, then hopped up in order to go get a better view of the events going down behind them. "Come on!" She yanked on Loki's collar, choking him in the process.

Loki set down his drink. "I'm trying to get up if you would let me. Calm yourself, Woman!"

"But your friends are entertaining!" Darcy objected, then grabbed his hand and tugged on it. "Come on!"

Loki sighed, swinging one leg over the bench they had been sitting on. "My best friend is now a five-year-old. Fantastic."

"Shut up. You love me."

"Keep up the California comments and that may just as well change."

"Whatever, Liar. Hey, I have twenty bucks on Volstagg if anyone wants in on that action!"

"Hey…!" Fandral objected.

"Sorry, Fan, but come on, he has like, fifty pounds or more on you. He's gonna win."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Darce."

"Like I said to Loki, come on, you know you love me."

"Fine, you win this time, but next time you better bet on me."

"We'll see, Buddy. We'll see."

* * *

And so, the fun continued. As Darcy predicted, Volstagg drank Fandral under the table. When the latter had nearly passed out, Loki and a newly arrived Logan had dragged him back into the condo to make sure no further harm could befall him. Jane and Erik took a backseat to the action, settling for sitting at one of the tables and catching up. No matter how hard Vorstagg, Wade and Logan tried to press, Thor refused to take part in their rounds of the drinking contest, trying to look as good as possible in front of Erik. While the men rolled their eyes and teased the man, they also respected the reason behind his refusal and let him be. They were pleased to find that Darcy wanted a challenge. When her match against Wade ended in a solid tie, Darcy had labeled herself and Wade as "Best Drunk Friends", and spent the few minutes following that in a sideways hug, carrying on different conversations with that. When Logan arched an eyebrow at Loki and mouthed 'He's workin' on your girl', Loki elbowed him hard in the ribs and went in search of his brother. When he spotted Thor and Jane walking around the property alone, and he heard them talking about Erik and 'how he was right to be protective' of Jane, he turned around and went in search of different company. He settled for going back to Logan, and the pair came up with several scenarios of causing harm to Wade, since the younger man had kept getting closer and closer to Darcy since he had first left.

Shortly after, Thor and Jane joined the pair at the table, still making small talk.

"Well, at least your friends and my parents seem to be getting along." Thor pointed out, pointing at Erik, Odin and Frigga, who were chatting with each other and occasionally laughing just outside the doorway.

"They seem similar- well, Erik and your mom, anyway. It looks like Erik's a bit intimidated by your dad," Jane pointed out.

"Isn't everyone?" Loki cut in quickly, before deciding the topic of Wade's death had been worn thin, and changed the subject of his own conversation to how Logan's family was.

Thor laughed. "He's got a point, but Erik seems like a good enough fellow. He'll warm up to my father soon enough. Most get used to him eventually."

"I certainly hope so," Jane looked up at Erik again, and saw him looking between her and Thor with a thoughtful look. Erik made eye contact with her, and she blushed before mouthing 'stop!.' He just smiled innocently before looking back at Odin, acting as if he had heard what the other man had just said.

"You're not worried about them, are you?" Thor asked. "They'll be absolutely fine. If my father crosses a line, my mother will set him straight about it."

"You sure?" Jane asked.

"Positive. You'd be surprised how much power she actually has over my father. It's a bit frightening."

Jane laughed. "I'll have to take your word for it."

"And when has that failed you, hm?" Thor countered.

"Never, yet." Jane replied.

"Exactly. See? Nothing to worry about," Thor assured her, leaning over to seal the promise with a kiss, breaking it to laugh as Volstagg wolf whistled and Sif cheered in response. "Shut up!" He called back playfully, and then turned when he could've sworn he saw Clint out of the corner of his eye.

Sure enough, the marksman had just strolled into the area, and was looking at him, arms out. "Come on. You guys threw a party and didn't invite me?"

Thor's laughter stopped, but the smile remained. "It's not my fault I'm playing mother hen and preventing you from straining too much. You know, Doctor Banner said limited moving for you-"

"Well, he doesn't know me with parties, then," Clint replied, before turning towards the house. "Hey! Who's playing bartender today? Oh! Hi Honorary Mom and Dad … … and who's that guy in the plaid and khakis?"

Jane watched him disappear into the house, then burst out laughing. "He's drunk already, isn't he?"

"Either that or in a ridiculously good mood. Thor nodded, then got up. When he saw Natasha come into the area hesitantly and look around for her friend, he waved at her, then pointed inside. "I guess I spoke too soon with the 'nothing to worry about' thing. Come on, let's go make sure he doesn't get too adventurous."

"Awww, but Darcy has her camera on her! Getting pictures of him like this might be fun!"

"You know what? That's not a bad idea. I mean, we have to start taking pictures here sometime. Why not start with all of the ridiculous things that happen here. Hey, Darcy…!"

 


	14. Chapter 14

Thor and Jane looked from the sign that was on Jane's door, to each other, and back to the sign. Jane had just gotten back from a quick trip out of town to go study a few star formations, and had managed to talk Erik into letting Thor come along. They had absolutely no idea what to make of the sign at all.

"Don't Open, (Almost) Dead Inside, Have a Nice Day :) "

"Darcy…" Jane sighed, fishing her keys out of her pocket and making quick work of opening the door. The pair wandered through the door, then looked in the living room for the mastermind behind the sign.

"Can't you read, people?" Darcy called.

Thor and Jane looked over, seeing her on one side of the couch, under an old crocheted blanket, and Loki was on the other side, also under it. Both looked more pale than usual, and there were to large piles of tissues in front of them on the table. The TV was playing some zombie apocalypse movie that Jane didn't recognize. She hurried in. "What happened? Are you two okay? I leave you for two days and come back to this?"

"Your housemate got me sick," Loki accused. "Breaks in to see if I have things to make chicken soup, and an hour later, I'm having a coughing fit and can barely move."

"So you came here…?" Jane asked.

"'Cause you two might want some alone time," Darcy smirked and waggled her eyebrows, but the false sentiment was lost with a couple of coughs of her own. "Ew. Gimme."

Loki reached for the tissue box on the opposite corner of the table and gave it to her.

Darcy took one, then continued. "So we figured, what the Hell, have a sick house and a healthy house. We practically all live together anyway." Darcy countered, then pointed at the TV. "Hey, Jane, can you turn the volume up?"

Jane sighed, her maternal side taking over more than anything. She did, then turned around. "You two want anything?"

"Water- and prove me right on something." Darcy chimed in. "Both of you."

"Go on," Thor replied, going to get the water and saving Jane a trip.

Darcy nodded. " 'K, so…" She pointed at the TV from under the blanket. "If Loki and I were in this situation, ya know, zombie apocalypse and all, how long do you think we'd survive, how would we die, and who'd die first?"

Jane smiled and rolled her eyes, and Thor let out a small laugh before coming back in with two glasses of water and putting them on the table. "You two probably wouldn't make that bad of a team, actually," he mused. "You wouldn't even need weapons. You could just talk the zombies back to death- Darcy with snark, Loki with over-intelligence."

Loki let out a groan and leaned his head back against the top of the couch before slinking further under the blanket. "If I had any energy left, I'd roll my eyes or punch you in the face, so do it for me, will you?"

Thor smacked his own face lightly. "What else…?"

"Well, Loki'd probably be the first to die from trying to protect someone…" Jane cut in.

"Thank you," Loki deadpanned.

"Or biting of a bit more than he can chew thinking he can take a bunch of zombies that overpower him."

Loki buried himself further under the blanket, only to put his fist to his mouth and surrender to another coughing fit. He sighed. "I leave for California in a week. If this keeps up…"

"Shut up, don't jinx it," Darcy snapped before she sneezed.

"I got this from you. You don't get to argue," Loki snapped.

"Bite me," Darcy countered.

"That would mean I would start the zombie outbreak and we'd both be dead," Loki pointed out.

"True." With a fair bit of effort, Darcy managed to get upright enough to get her glass of water and chugged it.

Jane sighed. "You know what? Water's not gonna do the trick. I'll make you guys some tea."

"Please? I love you!" Darcy offered.

Jane nodded, then smiled. "Well, maybe you'd be the longer survivor Loki- you're kinda cynical. Darcy's all trusting and happy all the time."

Darcy huffed in mock annoyance, then elbowed Loki, who had a satisfied smirk on his face. The elbow triggered another coughing fit. "Serves you right, Jerk."

"I still win," Loki replied, his voice dying in the middle of 'still.' He swore,

Jane rolled her eyes. "You guys are five year olds," She pointed out before going back into the kitchen to prepare the pair's second drinks. "If you get me sick I won't be this nice afterward!" She called over his shoulder.

Thor chuckled, then dropped onto the other couch.

Darcy and Loki both turned to look at him, and Thor was uneasy for a moment because their movement was so in tune it was like something out of a horror movie. He realized they were staring, then shrugged. "I've had worse than a cold, we're all home, why not make the best of the time with the rest of the misfits we've become?"

Darcy 'aw'ed, smiled and looked back at Loki, who had gone back to leaning his head back. It seemed like he had gotten a shade more green in the last minute, and Darcy wondered low long it would take for his skin to match his T-shirt at this rate. "Your brother is awesome," She announced.

Loki was reduced to a groan and an eyeroll again.

Darcy laughed, but if faded quick. "Oh, wow, hello. 'Scuse me, Loves. I have to go puke out a lung," she got up, stumbling as she did so, so Loki did his best to help her along, guiding her with his shin before she passed and he curled back up.

Jane came in with the tea, then looked around. "Where'd Darcy go…?"

"Getting sick upstairs," Loki deadpanned.

"Ah," Jane nodded, then held one of the cups for him.

He reached over and took it. "God send."

Jane smiled, then tucked her hair behind her ears. "So, did you honestly get this from her?"

Loki nodded. "Apparently it all started with Bobbi. She had it, then was out for a while so she sent Darcy for her things, so I guess it went that way, and then when I was playing messenger boy for Stark again, she coughed on me- by accident, of course… I hope."

"I doubt she'd sink that low," Thor pointed out.

"I dunno. Darcy's a long time tomboy. She's crazy competitive and the way they are…?" Jane pointed out.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Loki sighed.

"I didn't say I was happy about it," Jane objected.

"Mm hm," Loki nodded, then glanced up when Darcy came down the stairs. "Are you alright?"

"Been better, obvs," Darcy replied, not bothering to go around the couch. Instead, she turned so her back was to the back of the couch and she fell back onto it, adjusting herself so she was leaning on her friend again.

Jane sighed. "You poor things. Look, Thor and I were planning on dumping our stuff then getting a bite to eat. We just gave you water and tea? Either of you want us to pick anything up afterward?"

Loki shook his head, and Darcy left her reply at, 'food that won't make me puke more.'

Jane nodded. "I'll see what I can do," she replied, then grabbed her bags again, then took Thor's hand in her free one, and led him upstairs.

"Dude, they are soooo doing it now that you and I are outta the play right now."

"As long as they're not loud about it, more power to them," Loki replied, half of it coming out as a yawn as he sunk further into the couch once again.

"You need to get more scandalized, dude," Darcy replied.

"No thank you. If you're scandalized, that means your surprised. If you're surprised less, there's less to be upset about in any case."

"… You are so cynical…"

"And this is news to you?" Loki replied, his eyes closed.

Darcy shrugged, then scooted down before pulling his arm around her shoulders. "Wake me when Jane makes us food… or you become a zombie, like you said before."

Loki hummed his approval.

Within a few minutes, Jane and Thor came down the stairs and spotted the two in the same situation they had been in a couple of months prior.

"That's… stranger than what we first saw," Jane mused.

Thor shrugged. "It fits. I've been waiting for something like that to happen, actually. My brother seems happy with her. That's all that counts for me."

"Same for me with Darcy." Jane replied, then shrugged. "Alright, let's go out. I'm dying to find some place where I can eat something that isn't all greasy."

"… Does that rule out hamburgers, then?"

Darcy was the one snoring. She was out cold, leaning on Loki with her head tucked between his shoulder and his own head. It was quite the sight to see for two people who spent half their time together arguing and the other fifty mostly getting along, more to talk about the two witnesses to their position.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Don't get too mad/Grammar-Nazi-esque since I call JARVIS in here, well, Jarvis. I gave him a first name in the … one of the last chapters anyways, but JARVIS is JARVIS, and just switching over to the made up first name just feels wrong, AU or not, lol.**

* * *

Loki had never been a morning person. Too many years of being woken up by Odin and Thor getting ready for the latter's sports games had shaped that. So now, there he was, driving to the airport with a sick Thor in the seat beside him. His brother had gotten his and Darcy's sickness about four days prior, but the lucky bastard was already eighty percent better. The younger of the two brothers was more seething about that very fact as they pulled up to the terminal drop-off. Loki all but fell out of the car. He pushed himself upright, only to have someone push down on his shoulder and push him back down into his seat. Loki blinked a couple of times, then looked up to see Logan smirking down at him. "What…?"

Logan shrugged his duffel off of his shoulder, opened the back door of the car and tossed it in. "Our plane got switched. Something about our guys overbooking the damn flight. Some of the stunt people and other crew got jammed into some private plane in another yard to make up for it." He replied, getting inside. He greeted Thor, then leaned over and poked around with the GPS is Thor's car. He grunted as it gave him trouble a few times, but he managed to get the new directions in.

Thor merely looked at the directions, looked back at Logan, shrugged, and stared on his way again.

Once they got there and got things re-sorted, the brothers were surprised to find that the other man wasn't kidding- a private jet was waiting for them.

"Well… that's certainly new." Loki mused.

Logan frowned at the plane. "You gotta be kidding me…" He looked around, took his sunglasses out and put them on.

"Holy shit, yes!"

Logan and Loki turned around to see Wade walking over, his eyes not leaving the jet ahead of them.

Logan turned his eyes and rolled around, groaning. "They failed to let me know we were stuck with _him_."

"We can bear it for a while, can't we?" Loki asked. He frowned when Logan frowned at him. "Well, we can try."

Both men hissed in pain when Wade hurried over to them, threw his arms around them and pulled them against him before cheering again. They looked at each other with pained expressions, then slowly let the man lead them over to the plane.

They made it onto the plane and got settled- well, for the most part. Loki and Logan shared one of the two-seat rows, that Wade, who had stretched out on the row behind them, deemed as the 'Lo Squared Row." The older man already had a white-knuckled grip on his seats' armrests.

"You alright?"

" 'Course I'm not alright. I just… it's been a while since I flew and I forgot how much I hated it. At least complaining about Wilson helped me forget," he growled, casting a look back at Wade.

Loki hummed in acknowledgement, then settled back again, digging for one of the books he had packed in his bag. That was, until he heard the voice of one of the most arrogant men he knew.

"Alright, I'm here with my people, people! Let's get this bird in the air!"

Loki stared ahead at the seat in front of him and dropped his book upon hearing the new voice. He closed his eyes, counted to three, and looked up. Sure enough, Tony Stark was getting into the plane. It only took a few seconds for the billionare to find Loki. "Loke! There you are! You did get my message!"

"… Your… message?" Loki asked, then looked at Logan.

Logan shrugged. "Hey, I got it from Steve. You know me, if I got a message from that guy about anything-"

"Why are you here?" Loki cut Logan off, glaring at Tony.

Tony shrugged. "It's California. I'm a genius playboy billionaire philanthropist. Do I really need a reason?"

Loki brought his head down in order to pinch the bridge of his nose. "No, I'm not getting the fact that this isn't… this is just a small jet… twenty seater maybe. If you're so rich, why don't you have those ridiculously small ones you only see in-" He cut himself off and clenched his jaw when realization hit him across the face. He exhaled sharply. "Where is she?"

"Where's who?" Tony blinked.

Loki frowned at him. "You're a horrible liar,  _Anthony_. Where. Is. She?"

Tony blinked. "I still have no idea who you're talking about." He replied.

Jarvis, who had just entered the plane, breezed past them. "Miss Lewis is about twenty feet from the plane as we speak, Loki." He countered without breaking his strides to make it to the last row in the back.

Tony glared at him. "Traitor. Is it too much to ask for you to shut up about that stuff?"

Jarvis smirked. "I'm afraid you don't pay me enough for that, sir," he replied as as he closed his luggage in the overhead compartment and settled into his seat.

Loki let out another groan, then sunk lower in his seat when he spotted Pepper get on the plane, and then a glimpse of brown hair before his view was completely abstracted by the other seat and his own knees, having trouble accommodating to the new position. "I should've known she would play dirty."

Tony shrugged, then tossed himself into the row one ahead and to Lo Squared Row's spot. "Girl drives a hard bargain. What can I say?"

Loki looked at Logan. "… If I do something on this flight that would either mark me as a terrorist or just put me on the no-fly list in general, would you back me up?"

"Would I live to tell the tale?" Logan asked.

"… Possibly," Loki replied.

"Then I'll consider it," Logan replied.

Darcy finally reached them, and as everyone expected, smiled and waved at Loki before getting into the row across from them. "Toldja I'd find a way."

"We haven't taken off yet." Loki pointed out, only to be silenced when an announcement came over the plane's speakers that taking of was what they were about to do. He glanced at Logan as the man went white knuckled again, stopping only to pull the window shade down before grabbing the armrests again.

Tony pushed his sunglasses up his nose and nudged his own window shade further up before looking at Loki. "Put it like this, Lo, you-"

"There are a select few who I let call me 'Lo', Tony, and you're not one of them," Loki cut him off.

"Whatever you say, Lo. Now, like I was saying…" Tony stopped again to admire what he thought was the makings of one of the best views ever when Pepper passed him and bent over to put her purse on the floor between Jarvis' seat and the one she was apparently claiming as her own. (' for Strength in 'Tony Stark Drives Us Insane' numbers, as Pepper would tell Darcy later that same day). "Ahem, saying… come on. The girl drives a hard bargain."

Loki was worried for a second that with his tone, sexual favors might have been a means to an end. He glanced at Darcy, who must have read his mind, because she was giving him a warning look. But, curiosity killed the cat, and his brother had always compared him to one, and so the question came. "Meaning…?"

"Has she ever held you at taser point, Loki?"

Loki looked at Logan, who had opened his eyes and quirked a questioning brow. The pair looked back at Tony. "No…?"

Tony looked at Darcy, who had an evil smirk on her face, then looked at his male comrades. "It's scary as Hell, let me tell you. I'm down a couple of thousand for pulling this off with you people." He replied with a straight face. A moment later, his usual 'I'm better than you, deal with it' smile was back. "Besides, who am I to help put a wedge between young love?"

Both Darcy and Loki gawked at him and barked out "What?" as Pepper yelped "Tony!" and Jarvis merely facepalmed before running his hand down his face, muttering something about assumptions.

Tony looked between them, shrugged, and sat back down. "Alright, well, we're all here, your guy Remus LeBeau is the one flying since I checked who could-"

"Remy," Logan corrected before sinking lower in his seat as the plane began to move. He wanted to ask as many questions as Loki, but his mood to do so was going down as fast as the plane was about to go up.

Loki gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder, then waited until they were in the air before picked his book back up and found the page he was on with no trouble at all. That was, until he became aware that Darcy was reading over his shoulder. "You're never going to take no for an answer, are you?"

"Nope,"

"So… where do you plan to stay, anyway?" Loki asked.

"Either bunking in your guys' hotel room, or with Pepper and everyone in Tony's vacation house."

"He has a vacation house. Of course," Loki rolled his eyes.

"Says a guy who works on blockbusters and chooses to live in Mexico with the brother who he's not even sure he likes." Darcy pointed out.

Loki arched an eyebrow at her, then reached up in order to push her forehead back with his finger. "It was for the job, and it's not a horribly bad place."

"You're just saying that 'cause Jane and I are here." Darcy countered, threading one arm between his side and his own arm, then holding his down with her other free arm.

Loki smiled at her. "Maybe a bit."

"I win!" Darcy cheered.

"For now," Loki replied, though the last word was lost in a yawn. "Now, I've been up since five in the morning. Do me a favor and let me sleep for the rest of the flight. It's not long."

"Fine," Darcy sighed, untangling herself from him. "Enjoy it when you can, Handsome."

"Mm hm," Loki deadpanned before getting comfortable in the seat.

* * *

Once they had landed and regrouped outside the airport, Tony had insisted on 'kidnapping them', which was simply taking them to a five star hotel that Logan, Wade, Loki and Remy's superiors certainly hadn't approved of. Upon seeing the huge, pristine, modern place, once again, Logan took out his sunglasses, practically jammed them onto his face, then crossed his arms over his chest, trying to mentally disappear as much as the present situation allowed. He wasn't going to allow himself to come across anywhere near as arrogant as Tony. He huffed, then took to being silent. Loki, on the other hand, didn't mind, and didn't bother acting surprised like the others were. It was Stark, after all. He figured the man owned the building and called in a few favors. He merely chuckled when Darcy was reduced to squealing, tugging on his shirt sleeve and pointing at the building.

Tony came out of the building a few moments later, arms out, pride quite visible. "Toldja I'd bring you to Sunny California for one anniversary!"

"Anniversary of what? Being a work wife?" Darcy whispered.

"Pretty much," Pepper whispered back, then looked at Tony. "Yeah, it's… great," she replied.

"Hell yeah it is!" Wade chimed in.

Pepper rolled her eyes, then Darcy leaned toward her. "You get used to him after a while."

"Yeah, I should be able to say the same about Tony." Pepper deadpanned, then sighed.

Tony, however, was oblivious to the whole exchange, still smiling as usual. "Alright, now that you people aren't needed where you need to be soon, who wants to go get some sun at the beach, huh?"

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used some backstory from X-Men Origins for Logan. I hope no one's tooooo pissed about that. Lastly, there's a reference to Eureka in this chapter. If you get it/know what I'm talking about, you win all my love, and a virtual high five.

 

* * *

While everyone was more taken aback by Tony's fast request, they were all happy to oblige. They set up all their beach gear, then let Tony herd them into one of his hired limos, and enjoyed the quick drive down to the beach. Once they got there, Remy and Wade practically bolted to the beach store to go rent a volleyball in order to go state a claim to the volleyball court the group had set up near. It ended up exactly like the plane- Logan (who had stayed in his regular clothes, because 'beaches weren't his thing) and Loki were shoulder to shoulder, Darcy was lying down beside them. Newly returned Wade and Remy were a couple of yards ahead, arguing about which of them got to go hit on the blonde they spotted a few feet away. Tony was darting back and forth between his friends and passersby who had spotted him and wanted a picture or autograph. He had only stopped running around to comment on his pride that Jarvis's beach wear consisted of his usual dress shirt and slacks- just rolled up to the knee and elbow. As far as Tony was concerned, even if the others had swimsuits on, that was him letting loose a bit, so it worked.

After a few minutes of silence, just watching the action happen on the men's end- Logan looked at Loki. "So where's your girl and the girls in our crew, huh?"

"Darcy isn't my girl," Loki deadpanned, not hiding his smirk when Tony stumbled in the sand as some blonde thirty-something practically clotheslined him to get a picture.

"Hey, I just said your girl. You're the one who said her name," Logan pointed out.

Loki groaned. "Why are you all so insistent?"

"We're not blind?" Logan countered.

Loki rolled his eyes, then turned around. "That was actually a good question, though. Where did she disappear to?"

"I think she and a couple of the girls from your crew went to go pick up a few things at the shop, get ready and all that," Pepper cut in quickly, before turning back to Jarvis, wrapping both of her arms around his left one, and demanding he tell her more horror stories from growing up with Tony and essentially being forced into being his assistant-butler from age twenty and on. It was 'Alfred Pennyworth gone similar, but still slightly wrong.'

Logan snorted, then turned to watch Remy and Wade continue playing- which, as a game between young men would, had turned into more of a 'see-how-many-times-each-person-could-hit-the-other-in-the-face-or-chest' contest rather than a game. "This might be too good to miss, actually." He mused, then tilted his head in order to crack his neck and relieve sudden stiffness that was there. He grunted and straightened out, went to turn around, then spotted the mentioned girls coming back and nearly choked on his own tongue when he spotted the rest of the girls coming. When he spotted Darcy, he absentmindedly nudged Loki a couple of times. "Wanna reconsider that for a few seconds? Turn around."

Loki did, and nearly choked on his tongue for his trouble.

Darcy was on her way over with the other girls, clad in a 1950s one-piece poka dot bathing suit that one would expect to see on some pin-up back then. And she wore it like a glove.

Loki went red in the cheeks and looked away.

Logan chuckled and patted him on the back. "You've got it bad, bub."

"Oh shut it. You're the one staring."

"I stopped looking at her and looked at the other one next to her because she looked like Kayla for a minute. You know, my wife. Besides, when it comes to Darcy, I don't overstep. Hell, my daughters are what, just five and six years younger than her? Not quite my taste. You, on the other hand…" He smirked.

"Shut up," Loki snapped. He was still red, but that changed when he heard Tony wolf whistle, and realized that the cause was, in fact, Darcy. Loki fought the urge to maul the man, but apparently, some unknown woman had beat him to it, marching up to the man and starting to yell at him for being 'demeaning', still going on even as Tony tried to explain that he knew the subject and was just joking.

While Jarvis seemed to be pleased at the drama unfolding, Pepper sighed, put down the book she had fished out of her bag, and made her way over to defend Tony.

Darcy, however, didn't seem to be that effected. She merely let herself plop down right behind Loki and Logan. "Guys, pictures!"

Loki barely managed to look back at her before she had put him and Logan in a choke hold.

"I don't do pictures," Logan pointed out.

"Today you do," Darcy countered, letting go of him for a moment to adjust some setting on her camera before putting it on top of Pepper's bag and making the men pivot so they were facing it. Loki hoped that the fake smile he offered didn't betray that, as he was trying to sort out his feelings for Darcy, and how life enjoyed throwing him lemons because her… higher assets were now just about pressed against him. The camera flashed, and he let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, only to hold it again when Darcy grabbed him after getting the camera back just to get a picture of the two of them. Once that had been taken, Darcy turned the phone to see the outcome of the pictures and squealed. "Profile pic, right there."

"You kids and facebook." Logan sighed.

"Last I checked you had one," Darcy countered. When Logan arched an eyebrow at her, she shrugged. "I creeped. I'm a creeper."

Logan chuckled, then shrugged. "My wife told me to get one- and the girls. Marie was actually the worst with that one."

"You're adorable." Darcy replied, then picked up the camera again and looked around, spotting her next photo partner. "Hey, British Guy with the Awesome Voice-"

"My name is James Jarvis, Miss. Lewis. Either name will do-"

"Well then _, Jarv,_ I'm Darcy to you, and we're gonna get a picture together and when the Boss Lady comes back, it'll be us three."

* * *

After Darcy had gotten a couple of pictures with just about everyone, with the exception of Tony and Pepper, who were still arguing with the woman, and her newly-arrived husband, Jarvis had wandered over to Loki, since Wade and Remy had insisted on having Logan play a match of volleyball-turned-soccer, to show that 'The Young Can Totally Beat the Old.' Naturally, Logan was beating them with flying colors. The blonde man smiled at the fact that Loki had barely even noticed he had arrived, too busy watching Darcy. "You really are taken with her, aren't you?"

Loki blinked a couple of times, then looked at him. "What?" He looked Jarvis up and down a couple of times, wondering just how the Hell he had shown up so quietly. Last he checked, he was the one who made entrances and exits in and out of thin air. What his visitor said sunk in, and he merely growled before looking at the ground.

Jarvis sighed. "Well, at least you admit it for the most part, that's good."

"Did Logan put you up to this? Or Clint? Or Thor?"

"No, I don't know him, and hold on. You're Loki and you actually know a Thor-"

"Try I'm related to him," Loki cut in, just about giving up on the whole 'denying it' thing. "And no, it's not good," he added, looking almost pained as Darcy moved on to take another set of pictures with Remy and Wade, where Logan was off to the side, looking between both sets of his main coworkers.

Loki shook his head. "Exhibit A."

"Forgive me if I'm overstepping, I have only known you for a couple of weeks now, but let me say if you're honestly worried about her with men like them, you have nothing to worry about. Sure, the tall one with the shorter is good looking, but the man's clearly an ass, and the long haired one, well, he actually seems to be keeping his distance from her. Miss- Darcy seems like the one who would actually go for the intellectuals."

Loki made a face. "How the Hell do you know her personality more than I did during the second week of knowing her?"

"I just know people. You have to, in my profession, really, or you're ready to throw yourself off a bridge by month one." His eyes flicked to Tony, who had lost all of his mock-patience and was now yelling at the feminist's husband. . "She seems to like you, so why not go by that and try for more?"

Loki didn't exactly know why he was being so open with the man, and letting Jarvis pry so much to begin with. Maybe it was because they had roots in common, maybe it was because Jarvis was the first one having an honest to God conversation with him about it and not teasing him. "Because… we're in two different leagues."

"And how does that make sense when you two are best friends?" Jarvis countered.

Loki rolled his eyes. "Stop making perfect sense. I've just been ripped apart in the past and I'm worried about that happening again."

"There it is," Jarvis nodded, then looked back at Darcy, Remy and Wade. "Oh, and there's Exhibit A on my point where you're the better man."

Loki looked over, and sure enough, as Remy and Darcy were having some animated conversation about something, Wade was staring at her chest. Loki quietly fumed, but as usual, Logan had his back. Within seconds of him noticing Wade's eyeline, Logan had promptly chucked the ball at Wade's face- with a perfect hit. When Wade yelped and looked accusingly at Logan, Logan shrugged, which only made Remy and Darcy, who had burst out laughing at Wade's unfortune, laugh harder. "Sorry, Wilson. Guess the game made me remember I'm a bit better at this sports thing than I thought I was." He smirked when Wade looked away, and winked at Loki. Loki mouthed 'thank you' and the other man nodded.

"See? You've got friends' support. Why is that relationship that ended badly stopping you?"

"Because we were together four years?" Loki countered.

Jarvis made a face that read 'you got me there' then shrugged. "Alright, but… just… don't let that rule you too bad. You may be pleasantly surprised, 'cause if you don't… well, you lose, and you know it."

Loki finally got it. "You're speaking from experience." He realized. "Alright, you basically know the whole thing from observation, let me hear about you. Who was she?"

"You know her," Jarvis replied.

"I know her?" Loki frowned. How was that possible?

As if reading his mind, Jarvis raised his eyebrows and nodded in the distance.

Loki followed his eyeline and looked even more confused. "… _Tony?!_ "

Jarvis pulled an identical disturbed expression to Loki's and jerked his head again.

"Oh! Pepper!" Loki corrected, then, "… … Pepper?"

Jarvis shrugged. "When we work together in close quarters and deal with that man on a daily basis, it's kind of inevitable. I unfortunately waited too long, and lost her… to Tony, no less."

"Pepper… Tony, what?"

"Oh, she's fighting it as hard as you are, but the attraction's there. Not the point. I'm saying just… don't be me, 'cause it's the worst feeling in the world- Oh,  _Hell._ "

Loki looked back at Tony and Pepper, only to hear one of the people who had been arguing with them call Pepper a bitch, and Tony laughed before taking a hard swing at him that floored the offender.

The pair got to their feet and hurried over, trying to break up the smack-fight that had now started, pulling Tony and Pepper back from the small crowd- sure, it was Pepper and Tony against six, but it could've still turned ugly.

"Alright, let's all take a breath and think about this. Look, as the lady was explaining, Stark is an idiot, and most of the time, he doesn't know it."

Tony looked like he wasn't sure whether to be offended or not.

"But, he would also never try anything with the girl or do anything to make her feel uncomfortable, and if he did and she got upset, he would try to remedy the situation."

"Aw, thanks Jarv!" Tony cut in.

Jarvis ignored him. "So, let's all think about this, I mean, is an argument with this man really worth it?"

Tony motioned from Jarvis to the small crowd."See? Listen to my buddy here! And if not, how much do you guys want so this goes away, huh?"

* * *

 

"… I hate you." Jarvis announced to Tony as he glared at the man halfway across the holding cell.

"… Liar. Besides, it's not my fault California has a couple of corrupt cops who just see my face and make an instant arrest with my friends who are in a five foot radius for no reason."

"You're obviously right about the five foot radious, It wasn't 'no reason.' You disturbed the piece, assaulted that poor man who was coming to his wife's aid after some misunderstanding, whether he knew the facts or not, you  _bribed_ them before there was even reason to-"

"They're just jealous." Tony cut in.

Jarvis groaned, then leaned over Pepper, who was looking damn near murderous at Tony, so he could address Loki. "Are the others on their way?"

Loki nodded. "Yeah, they're coming. My boss is furious though."

"At least you don't need bail. We've been in this situation before and needed bail. My sister was furious." Jarvis replied.

"His sister is terrifying, might I add. She came marching in, all maternal, demanding what happened, jeez, poor Andy, having the deal with that-"

"Andy might as well be Deputy Carter, to you. Please, he doesn't care for you and neither does Sarah, so don't go acting like you're all are friends." Jarvis replied.

"Oh, come on, Jarv. You're gonna let this come between us?"

"Yes!" Jarvis and Pepper yelled at the same time.

Tony put his hands up defensively.

A few minutes later, an officer came to get them, and led them out of the building, where Darcy, Logan, Wade and Remy were waiting for them.

When they got out, Darcy darted over to Loki, a wide smile planted firmly on her face. "How was your second night in jail slash the first one that wasn't caused by me?"

"Worse since I was just mad at you and not contemplating taking part in a murder." Loki replied.

Darcy hugged him. "Poor baby!"

Loki merely sighed and tucked his chin closer to her neck.

Later that day on the phone, Thor and Clint laughed for round about ten minutes at Loki's misfortune, and both promised to send Tony a thank you card for corrupting their brother, both blood and not furthermore.

Loki merely learned it was going to be a long working vacation.

* * *

 


	17. Chapter 17

The next couple of days had gone relatively fast. Logan, Wade and Loki had been called back to work, and some of their newly formed posy had accompanied them- along with a few paparazzi who had heard of Tony, Jarvis, Pepper and Loki's quick jail stint. While no one was surprised Tony had showed, they were surprised to see the rest of the crowd accompany those who should've been there- Pepper followed to keep him Tony in line, Jarvis had joined them to help Pepper and keep Loki and the billionaire separated, and Darcy came just to enjoy the scenery- and watch Loki blow things up- and receive the coming visitor no one else was aware of.

Darcy clapped and jumped up and down a couple of times as Loki set off the third-largest explosion she had seen the whole day, and then waved when Wade and Remy went flying through the air towards them, hooked on very uncomfortable looking harnesses. The pair landed rather gracefully, and there were a couple of moments of silence before Ben barked, "Cut!" out in the background, and Remy and Wade went to work untangling their clothing and themselves out of the harness before returning to their group.

While Wade headed straight for the food table, Remy headed for the center of the group, tossing one arm around Darcy and the other around Loki, but only bothered to pull Darcy closer, which prompted an eye roll from Loki. "So, how'd we do?" he asked.

"Awesome. I personally liked when you guys did some backflip on those things then rammed face first into each other."

Remy laughed. "Yeah, shit like that happens all the time. Wade's probably as mad at me for hitting him in the face as he was at Logan."

"Fantastic," Loki cut in, and Remy chuckled before untangling himself from them. "So, who wants to get lunch?"

"Yeah…" Loki nodded, giving a final glance around that if he left, nothing would go wrong on his part, then, satisfied with the results, turned to join Remy.

"Wait up! I want food too!" Darcy objected, turning to join them, but her expected guests approaching caught her eye and derailed her stomach's rule over her mind. She squealed and darted over

Half expecting to be hit or smacked repeatedly, as was the usual action that followed her squeal, Loki tensed and turned towards her. He merely blinked when she saw her running at some man who looked to be in his forties, then literally jumped into his arms. The man let out a bark of laughter, span her in a semicircle, then put her down.

"Who the Hell's this…?"

Loki turned to look at Logan as the man walked over to him, still looking at Darcy and the mystery man. "No idea."

Once Darcy had regained her balance, she just beamed at the newcomer, before grabbing his hand and tugging him in their direction. The men all heard her insisting on him coming over to 'meet the boys.' As she got within a twenty foot radius of them, they heard her ask, "Where's Mom?" , to which he replied "She had a flight to the east coast, but she wanted to be here and meet your friends."

Ben, their director, who had come to talk to Remy about something, merely spotted the pair, muttered something along the lines of, "Oh, for heaven's sake, another one?", but sighed and scurried off again either way.

"So this is Daddy Lewis?" Logan asked.

"Sounds like," Loki muttered, then raised his eyebrows and smiled. "Hello!"

Darcy grinned, then motioned at her visitor. "Dad, these are my friends Loki and Logan, and that's Remy and Wade behind them. Guys, this is my dad, and the little twerp is my baby sister Macy."

"The name's Robert. You can call me Rob, though, gentlemen." Sebastian added, offering his hand. Both men took their turns shaking it.

While Logan, having experienced some unpleasantness in the form of girls under ten, offered a smile in Darcy's sister's direction. Loki, on the other hand, no stranger to being shy and being the only kid in a group, knelt down and smiled at the girl. "Hello there. So you're Macy, hm?"

The girl took hold of her father's hand, blushed, and nodded.

Loki offered a reassuring smile, then nodded at her shirt. "So, soccer jersey? Been playing long?"

When the girl didn't answer, Robert nudged her with his hip lightly.

Macy nodded at Loki after a moment.

Loki nodded. "I remember when I used to play. You know, where Thor and I grew up, it's not called soccer. It's called football. Did you know that?"

Macy shook her head, then ever-so-quietly replied, "No…"

Loki shrugged. "Everyone where we're from thinks people here should call it its proper name of football, but that would be very confusing, having two different sports with the same name, wouldn't it?"

Macy giggled, then leaned into her father's side again.

Satisfied, Loki got back up and turned his attention back to Robert. "So, how'd you get this far without one of the crewmembers chasing you away?"

"Small world. I actually know a guy who knows one of the crew, so he let me in." Robert replied, then look around. "Big to-do you have here. So, you do… stunts, was it?"

Loki pointed at Logan. "He's the stuntman, I'm the pyrotechnic person."

"Oh, so you blow stuff up all day. No wonder Darcy likes you." Robert chuckled.

"Seems like it. I just wish it was actually as glorious as it sounds. Not always easy coming home covered in soot and God knows two thirds of the days I work."

"I hear ya," Robert nodded.

Loki smiled, then looked around. "Well, we were just about wrapped up here now. Tony Stark was going to take a bunch of us out to lunch. I don't think he wouldn't mind another person coming."

"Of course he wouldn't." Jarvis cut in, strolling over to them without stopping. "Well, now that I've actually educated your people on how to work their damn computers, we can go." He instructed, walking on in order to get the limo.

Robert blinked at his retreating back, then looked back at the rest of the group. "Who was that?"

"Our ride and my long lost personality twin." Loki cut in. "James Jarvis, assistant to Tony Stark- and our ride." He added after a moment.

"Wait… so… you actually are friends with your boss' boss, now?" Robert asked, glancing at Darcy.

"Uh huh." Darcy chimed, then reached for her little sister. "Come on, Dweebette. Let's go get some food." She started leading her towards the limo.

Loki excused himself to go check if they were in fact, completely okay to go, leaving Robert and Logan alone.

After a moment, Robert hummed, then raised his eyebrows. "So, my kid and Loki are quite taken with each other, huh?"

"Oh, so you're one of the people who aren't blind, huh?" Logan asked.

Robert smirked. "Why? Who is?"

Logan matched his smirk, and both of them said, "them" in the next moment.

Robert laughed after a moment. "Sounds like my girl."

"Mm hm. She's a good kid."

"I'd certainly hope so, after the craziness she put me through in her teens."

"Oh, I know the feeling. I've got two a year apart who are both just into their twenties now," Logan replied, then stopped abruptly when he spotted Loki trotting back over. "We good?"

"We're good. Let's go." Loki replied, leading the way over to the limo.

* * *

The lunch went smoothly, much to everyone's surprise. Tony behaved himself, Macy had made a new best friend in Loki by just complaining about being the younger sibling and him agreeing with her on most of her points, and Wade and Remy only got into one argument, to which Darcy had gladly joined in and was back to best friend status with 'her boys.'

By the time they all got back to Tony's home, they were completely exhausted, so when they reached the couple of guest rooms Tony had specified for them and promptly collapsed on the nearest chair. Darcy fired up her laptop to check on a few things. She reported to Wade that his pecs had a fan club consisting of six of her friends, to which he laughed and left to find Remy so he could brag. After that, Darcy started up a video chat with Bobbi and Clint, yanking Loki down on the bed in order to get him to talk as well.

Clint laughed at Loki's petrified look as he bounced on the blanket. "Hey, Bro. How's Cali treatin' ya?"

Bobbi nudged him and muttered something.

Clint shushed her playfully, then looked at the screen again. "I guess good, if you two haven't killed each other yet."

"Aw, kill Loki? Never!" Darcy tossed her arm around him. "Anyway, Cali's great. Got to see my dad and little sister today, which is awesome, and spend all my free time with the boys." She replied. "How's home treating you?"

"There you go," Clint insisted, then Bobbi laughed.

Darcy smirked. "Uh oh."

Bobbi opened her mouth wide, then paused. "Well, maybe we should tell them about Thor and Jane first…"

"Yeah," Clint nodded after a moment.

"What's wrong?!" Loki and Darcy barked out quickly, their smiles dropping.

"Uh, just… trouble in paradise. They got into some big fight over… we don't know. Work stuff, maybe? We just went in to visit and Thor nearly ran us over leaving the house."

"Goddamn it." Darcy mumbled. "We can't leave those two alone, can we?" She looked at Loki.

He shrugged in return. "Well, it is Thor…"

Darcy shoved him off the bed. "Alright, so we have to knock some sense into them when we get back. What's the other news that Bobbi is clearly dying to tell me? She's still bouncing, even when she told that bad news to us." When Bobbi scooted more into the shot and put her hand up, Darcy squealed loud- accidentally right into Loki's ear,causing the man to stop crawling back to his previous spot and scooted back to the floor where he had fallen instead.

"Holy shit, is that an engagement ring?"

"Yes it is," Clint chimed in, having moved back, just as Loki had, to avoid the flailing arms of his girlfriend-turned-fiancee as of two hours prior.

"Already?!" Loki started, but Darcy promptly clamped her hand over his mouth. "Aw, congrats, guys! I'm taking you guys out for drinks when we get back, then! Just- AH! I knew you'd be first!" Darcy squealed again, then bounced up and down, then paused and calmed down. "Look, not that I don't wanna be all happy for you and celebrate any way we can, we gotta plan for this Thor and Jane dilemma. How bad is it?"

"Bad. Pretty bad, I think." Clint offered, giving Bobbi a playful nudge out of the way, which sent her into a giggling fit.

"Like, Loki and I need to avoid fireworks when we get in, or should the brother not stop on my property and the may-as-well-be-sister not step on his property for sake of thinking they're spying, or…?" Darcy began.

"Don't think it's that drastic… yet, but… I don't know. Jane was pretty mad at him, and… well, from what I've seen and kinda assume from her, when she gets going, she doesn't stop, so…" Clint trailed off.

"Spot on, really." Darcy insisted, then glanced over at the door when someone knocked. "Alright, that could be anyone from my dad to Tony right now, so we gotta go. Love you both, congrats, and go crazy. Just no babies before the wedding, please, 'cause I'd totes have to play Auntie Darcy and babysit, which would be bad, being that I'm gonna be your maid of honor, right? 'Kay, bye." She ended the call before the pair had a chance to reply. "Wow, so they're engaged, and our roomies are having trouble in paradise." She summed up. "What will we do next?" She looked at Loki.

"Well, let's get the bloody door first, then we can think."

When it was Tony on the other end of the door with an invite to a party he had randomly decided to host for them and a few other guests, they figured that would come in handy. Alcohol would get them to be creative, and Jarvis and Pepper could be the backup thinkers. It was going to work out  _just fine._

It obviously didn't.

 


	18. Chapter 18

The night had progressed much like the last outing involving lots of alcohol had. Robert had hung around for one drink, then retired in order to put Macy to bed, despite the little girl not wanting to leave her sister or Loki's side. Darcy was flat-out drunk about an hour after that, because she had reason to be, and Loki was hiding between Logan, Jarvis and Pepper. He was perfectly happy having two beers and calling it a night after that. However, once again, Darcy had gotten sidetracked from plotting her genius idea of getting her friends together when Wade and Remy had demanded a drunken game of pool. Not one to be beaten by anyone, Darcy accepted, and that was that. The only difference was that Loki had just about given up sulking about her. Sure, he had seen the issues between Thor and Jane coming, but he did feel bad for his brother deep, deep down. The whole thing had been crazy but pleasant so far- until a drunk Remy had started ranting about his love life to them, and with some difficulty, Logan had put together that his daughter was the girlfriend in question, had dragged Remy out, and that was the last they had seen of either of them for quite some time. Jarvis was having a rough time as well, being that Tony was also starting to get to the level of drunk Darcy was on and kept wandering over and hitting on Pepper. The redhead kept dismissing him, and once he left, burst out laughing before turning back to the other men's conversation.

One hour after that, the crew had thinned down some. Steve had retired early, despite Tony's egging him on to stay, the billionaire himself had disappeared, and a few others had as well. Now there were just a few faces- the familiar ones to the group, and some of Tony's acquaintances. One of which was one of Loki's ex-girlfriends, Sigyn. He had gone stock-still upon seeing her, but when she spotted him, beamed, and waved at him to walk over, he threw caution to the wind. The pair had left on friendly terms, and out of the three main friends he had left, one was still chatting away with Wade, one was sulking about possibly doing the wrong thing by letting Tony win, and the last had gone marching after a party-goer who had almost broken a sculpture in the corner of the room.

Darcy, on the other hand, however, wasn't fond of seeing them. She wandered over to Jarvis, slid onto the seat next to him, put her drink on the table, then leaned on it. "So who's the babe with Loki?" She asked.

Jarvis looked from her to the recently filled drink, and upon figuring she wouldn't see, grabbed it and tossed the contents into a nearby plant before putting it back where she had put it down. "No idea. Old friend, maybe?"

"Oh, she is not leaning on him like a friend." Darcy pointed out.

"Well, neither are you with me," Jarvis deadpanned, now paying attention to the couple in question.

Darcy looked down, and sure enough, her chest was right against his arm. She tried to remember when she had slumped like that in the last minute, but nothing came to her. "I can't help that the girls get in the way!" She objected, then turned back to her drink- well, glass. "Hey, where'd my booze go?"

"No idea," Jarvis dismissed. He groaned upon seeing that, now that the song had changed to Nat King Cole's L.O.V.E, Tony had weaseled a dance out of Pepper. She loved Nat King Cole. "Damn it…"

"Dude, Jarv, you should totally go after her."

"No,"

"Then stop sulking."

"Like you weren't before?" Jarvis countered. He contemplated starting to hit his head against the wall. Darcy probably wouldn't notice. He was sick of playing middle man to the two people who were clearly in love with each other, and one was too insecure, and the other… well, what was Darcy? He didn't know.

"No, I wasn't, and- seriously, where'd my drink go- but you totally are."

"Well, looks like 'love didn't do right by me', once again." Jarvis dismissed it, then frowned when Darcy went wide-eyed and looked at him. "Alchohol's finally got to you?" He offered a weak smile when Pepper approached them again, hoping that Darcy didn't give away any of their conversation.

"Say that again," Darcy grabbed his shoulders.

Pepper sat down to Jarvis' right. "What's happening."

"Don't know." Jarvis replied to her, then looked at Pepper. "Alc-"

"No. The other thing you said."

"Love didn't go right by me?"

"YES!" Darcy bounced in her seat, which ended up with her haphazardly falling off of the front of it, leaving Jarvis to hold her up as the stool went flying back a couple of feet. To her credit, she recovered fast- probably because she had no idea what had just occurred. "Jarv, you're a genius! White Christmas! That's the solution." Darcy blurted before just about throwing herself out of her chair and darting towards Loki.

Jarvis stared at the spot she had vacated for a while, then at Pepper, who looked like she was trying to figure out what she meant as much as she was. It hit them both at the same time. "Oh, no…"

When Darcy reached Loki, she proceeded to launch herself at him, nearly knocking over Sigyn in the process.

Loki haphazardly caught her, and when she just beamed at him, he looked across the room to Jarvis and Pepper for an explanation, but they just wore started expressions.

"Oh, who's your friend?" Sigyn began to say, but was cut off roughly by Darcy.

"Fake engagement! That's how we settle this shit!" Darcy announced.

Loki gawked at her, then snapped out of it. He smiled weakly at Sigyn. "Please excuse my friend and I for a minute," he offered, before dragging Darcy off. "How drunk are you right now? And what was that?"

"…. An idea. Who's your friend?"

"An ex-girlfriend of mine. What the Hell are you talking about?"

"You know in White Christmas how the little sister and the guy's best friend solve the older two's relationship by faking an engagement? We work! We can do that."

Loki stared at her, then promptly slapped his hand to his forehead and dragged it down his face. "No. No. There are several- several thousand reasons that wouldn't work."

"Name three!"

"It's a movie, things don't get fixed that way, and, judging by our luck combined, something would go wrong and we'd be arrested for… an engagement of convenience."

"Has everyone told you you're too paranoid?" Darcy asked.

"Anybody ever tell you you come up with the most ridiculous ideas, drunk or sober?" Loki countered.

"Oh come on, it'll work!" She tugged on his shirt. "Might even be fun!"

"Clint won't be happy that we'd steal his thunder."

"Dude, your brother  _is_ Thunder. Clint'll be happy for us. Double engagement party. We can get shit."

Loki sighed. "I think it's time you called it a night."

"Awww!" Darcy complained. "But-"

"No buts. Come on. I'm taking you to bed," Loki replied, grabbing her hand.

Tony, who had heard them in passing, turned back, still walking backwards toward some attractive blonde. " 'Bout time. Have fun you two. Hey, I'm all for Little Lokis or Darcys running around, but at least use protection here, huh?"

Loki resisted punching him, then looked back at Sigyn. "Fantastic seeing you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think my friend here needs to take a rest before she dies of alcohol poisoning."

Sigyn nodded, then looked around awkwardly as he led her away.

Once the pair finally reached their room, Darcy managed to take it from there, shuffling over to the bed and collapsing on it. "Comfy…"

Loki snorted, then stood up.

Darcy yawned, then propped herself upright in the headrest. "What, you don't do the whole Sober-Roommate-Thing? No making sure I turn over and stay on my side? No taking off shoes?"

Loki made a face, then sat next to her, knowing full well she would start complaining if he didn't. "No. After doing that for Thor about fifty or more times, it got old fast. Besides, it seems part of your brain is working enough to actually know that needs to be done."

Darcy sighed and leaned against him. "If I end up puking and choking on it, I'm blaming you."

"I expect that of you," Loki replied. He offered a teasing smile.

Darcy laughed, then, faster than expected, leaned up and kissed him. It was a quick, but it was enough to throw Loki for a loop. The man let out a muted yelp of surprise and struggled, trying to figure out just what to do with his hands, being that he wasn't going to let this go any further. Once she pulled back and blinked at him innocently, he stared at her, then smiled weakly before nodding and getting up, ready to make a B-line back for the party floor, and more importantly, another beer. "Goodnight, Darcy" was just about the only response he could come up with.

"Night, Loki. Remember- fake engagement."

"Mm hm." Loki deadpanned

 


	19. Chapter 19

Darcy wasn't sure what to think when Loki had ignored her for the most part as the group had headed for the airport. He greeted her in the morning, and then seemed to make it his business to avoid her. She knew she had gotten quite hammered the night before. She had a headache to prove it. Had she done something to piss him off? Said something? She contemplated asking Jarvis or Pepper, being that she was starting to believe they knew everything. Everything. That stopped when she saw that Pepper was distracted, arguing with Tony, and didn't seem aware of the tension in the air in the car that had felt like it had shrunk to half its size since they were last inisde. Jarvis wasn't far behind with thinking the same thing she was. She saw him look across the way at Loki, arch an eyebrow, then return to reading his book. Darcy sighed. She was still exhausted from last night. She could ask him when they were alone after the flight. When they got to the plane, she tossed her things in the overhead bin above the pair of seats that Steve was sitting at and dropped next to him. Steve, to his credit, was the first to start up a conversation by asking how her trip was. It was enough to let her forget about the issue for a while.

When they landed, and most of them went their separate ways, with Tony, Pepper, Jarvis, her and Loki piling in the billionaire's limo to drive into town, it was right back to being awkward. Pepper finally sensed the tension, and kept looking at Jarvis, who looked from her to Loki and Darcy. Tony, on the other hand, didn't look at his employees or kind-of friend. He kept on wondering whether or not what he had drunkenly assumed would happen last night happened- and how the Hell he managed to remember what he had drunkenly assumed in the first place.

When they dropped the pair off at the apartment complex, Tony settled for giving Loki a quick, gentle boot to the behind, and when Loki turned, he pointed at Darcy, then the younger man, and made a lewd hand gesture. It only earned Loki making a face at him and Pepper smacking his arm.

Loki finished his trek over, then glanced over when Darcy popped up behind him. "Locked out?"

"Oh, now you're talking to me," Darcy replied, crossing her arms over her chest.

Loki stared at her, then abruptly turned to the door again to fish his keys out of his pocket.

"Uh, no," Darcy put her hand over the doorknob. "You know what? No. Friends don't leave other friends hangin', and that's what you're leaving me here. Why so gloomy, huh? This is super gloomy, even for you, and- AH!" Her mini-rant was cut short when the door opened in and sent her flying forward with it.

Loki stared at the spot she had occupied for a moment, then, letting reality catch up with his brain, bolted forward and caught her before she hit the ground. The pair looked up to see Clint staring down at her, looking concerned but trying not to laugh at the same time.

"Sorry, Darce…" Clint muttered.

Darcy clawed her way up Loki's body in order to straighten out. "It's fine. Now…" She beamed and bounced on her heels. "So how'dja do it?"

"And more importantly why are you in my house…?" Loki added.

"Playing moral support- your parents are here, too," Clint replied, then turned his attention back to Darcy. He threw one arm around her and led her inside. "I did the super cliché thing. I did the ring in the champagne thing… … … She practically choked on it."

Darcy let out a bark of laughter as the pair continued into the kitchen.

Loki blinked at the space they had vacated seconds before, then sighed, grabbed the luggage, and brought it inside before joining them.

Thor was busy, slaving over what looked like some sort of pasta dish. Figures. The chef was back in him. Bastard. He turned his attention over to his parents. They wandered over, and Odin met him with a handshake and Frigga hugged and kissed him on the cheek. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what're you…?" Loki began. "Is it really just moral support? What's happened? Is everyone alright?"

"Well, we came for a bit of moral support for your brother. He called and he was clearly more upset than he usually is if something's bothering him, so we had to come." Frigga shrugged. "I hope everything's okay with you?" She asked.

"It's… it's fine." Loki replied, then looked at Thor. "What happened? What did you do to her?"

Darcy, suddenly lost the small amount of animosity she had against him in order to get her chance at interrogation. She ducked under Clint's arm, went shoulder to shoulder with Loki, raised an eyebrow, and crossed her arms over her chest. She jutted one hip out for good measure. "Yeah, Buddy. What'd you do to Jane to get her that mad?"

Thor turned to frown at them, only to see the pair of them wearing matching disapproving looks. "Nothing! I did nothing! She overreacted!" He stirred the pasta, then looked back- to find that his bother had joined them with the matching stare. Odin, on the other hand was looking from him to them and back.

"… We had a disagreement," Thor explained.

"About…?" Loki pressed, trying to fight his grin. Thor was in trouble and he was loving every second of it. Well, he wasn't happy that his previous partner in small crimes was probably hurt in the process, but still, it was a start.

"Her work. I tried to get her to get out of work early and said it's science so her work can wait, and she… was… quite enraged."

"Course she was…" Loki deadpanned, the same time Darcy screeched, "You tried to tell her work was less important than you?! Are you insane?!"

Clint decided that was the best moment to escape the ordeal that suddenly seemed family oriented. He started to back up, only to have Darcy point at him.

"No, you stay! I have to talk to you to get happy again after I'm about to have words with this guy!"

Clint put his hands up in surrender, then sidled over to one of the barstools and sat down, moving it as far back as possible.

Darcy walked over to Thor, hitting him with an open-palmed fist. "Idiot! Are you crazy? How can you do that to a workaholic? Seriously, are you stupid? Do you have a brain?" She tried swatting at him, and Loki pulled her back from it.

"Not worth it. He never learns," he forced out, trying to avoid the kicks and elbows that were suddenly coming his way now.

"Well, now that he's dating Jane he's totally gonna learn!" Darcy snapped, lunging at him again.

Loki had it at that point. "Do excuse us." He managed to pick up Darcy and carried her back into the living room, dropping one arm when they got there so she could pick herself up. "Would you be quiet? Let the man be shamed for a bit. He's obviously upset about the whole thing and I love every second of it." He insisted.

"He. Pissed off. Jane. I, for one, like my siblings and will personally murder anyone who messes with them. As far as I'm concerned, Jane is a sibling, so Thor needs to pay."

"He's paying now," Loki insisted.

"He doesn't look like it."

"You've known him for almost a year. I've known him since birth. The man's arrogant and tries not to show it when he's upset."

"Why? He has no reason to," Darcy shrugged.

"Because our father thinks it's weakness when men show it too much. Why do you think I'm Daddy's Little Disappointment? As a kid I never hid hating being the younger, less successful sibling, and he wasn't fond of it."

Darcy blinked at him, then was about to call him out on being a selfish douche lately, but the puppy dog look he seemed to get momentarily that didn't seem to be an attempt to get her on his side got to her.  _Damn it._  "You know what? Fine. We'll kill two birds with one stone. Get you outta the schlump you just put yourself in, and do the original plan."

Loki frowned. "What original plan?"

Darcy grabbed his hand and pulled him back towards the kitchen.

"… Darcy? What original plan?"

They made it into the kitchen, and Darcy leaved a dramatic sigh. "Sorry about that. Look, Thor, I'm still not happy, but I've just been like… 'ahhhhh' lately emotion-wise because a lot's on my mind, and I still wanna beat you within an inch of your life, well, I might as well announce what's been making me crazy huh, well, Loke and I here have an announcement."

Now that made the lightbulb go off for Loki ."Darcy…!" He hissed. "We talked about this…"

"We're engaged too!" Darcy blurted, tossing both arms around Loki's left arm.

Frigga gasped and smiled, Odin looked half surprised, half impressed, Thor's depressed look dropped and he beamed, and Clint choked on the coffee he had just poured himself and tried not to spit it out.

It was just about the same as the greetings. Frigga immediately went over to Loki and hugged him, offering congratulations, Thor offered his usual, near bone-crushing bear hug, Odin shook his hand again. When the process was repeated on Darcy, Loki mouthed 'I hate you' over their shoulders. Darcy managed to shrug.

Clint wandered over. "Congrats, you crazy kids. It's about time you went for that!" He announced, kissing Darcy on the cheek and giving Loki a pat on the back while arching an eyebrow at him.

Loki was at least grateful that at least he called their bluff.

* * *

"So… … how are you gonna get outta this one?" Clint asked, four hours later. Thor, Odin and Frigga were outside, getting air, while Loki and Clint cleaned up from dinner. It had been quite the story for Loki and Darcy's engagement, with one saying one sentence about how their feelings were admitted to each other and the other interjecting with another sentence and the process repeated. Afterward, Darcy had gone home to check on Jane, leaving them to find for themselves. All Loki wanted was a stiff drink after the ordeal. Clint had his legs crossed at his shins, hanging over the back of the couch. Loki was on the chair opposite him, half hunched over it.

"I have no idea. God, I told her not to go through with this. I thought she'd agreed," Loki replied.

"This _is_  Darcy we're talking about. Way to steal my thunder by the way," Clint replied.

"Blame her, not me. Hell, I'm surprised my mother is okay with the small time that both of our engagements- real and not took. She's old fashioned. Why isn't she scandalized?"

"Maybe she's just happy that her kid and semi-kid are finally about to get hitched… or fake hitched when we're in our thirties," Clint offered. "What's so wrong about this whole engagement thing though? You're crazy about her, she seems like the feeling's mutual, why just go for it? You get shit with engagement and wedding parties."

"Because lying isn't my thing," Loki replied.

"But you're-"

"If you define who my namesake is, I will find something to stab you with. I'm well aware. It's just… I even feel horrible now for lying to my mother. How can I break the news to her either way now? You saw her."

"It's tough, yeah. I say just go for it. Hey, double wedding, anyone? Come on, that would be irony, the guys who used to hate each other being together at the-" He scooted out of the way to avoid the pillow Loki throw at him. "Just trying to help you out, here."

"You're not. Hell, this is partially your fault."

"Then let me help you get the Hell out of it."

"How…?"

"I have no idea. I say we just get drunk and work from there."

"You're an idiot."

"Don't act like you don't love me. Now, let's weigh your options, shall we?"

 


	20. Chapter 20

Loki groaned when the doorbell rang for the sixth time in two minutes. "Clint, get it?" 

"Too busy scheming for you people!" Clint called back.

Loki sighed and marched over to the door. "I'm on my bloody way! Take it easy!" He called. He opened the door and merely blinked at Tony as the man beamed at him from the other side of the doorframe. "… What?"

"Congrats, Buddy! I was wondering when you would grow a pair and confess then ask her!" Tony replied, giving the man a hard pat on the bicep before inviting himself in.

Loki blinked again, then noticed that Tony had been flanked by Pepper, Jarvis and Erik. The latter two looked drained, and the other, well, he was just Erik. He attempted to greet them, only to have Jarvis hook one of his arms with his own, then Pepper did the same with the other. They dragged him towards the kitchen, and when Darcy came over, having been speaking to Frigga in the hallway, Jarvis took hold of her wrist and dragged her with them.

Once they got into the corner, Jarvis pushed the two into the corner. "Why do you two insist on getting into trouble? Why? And of course Tony heard and _believed it_  and made us fly here, and God help me if I have to listen to 'I Am Iron Man' on repeat  _one more time_ …!"

Darcy blinked. "Hold on. How did Tony find out?"

"How the Hell should I know? He just up and announced it." Jarvis replied.

"You mean you didn't sell the lie to everyone?" Loki cut in.

"And didn't believe us when we explained it was a hoax to help you two look better in front of your parents." Pepper added.

"I-" Loki began, then sighed when he heard Tony bark out a laugh, followed by his own parents uncomfortable laughter. "Do excuse me. I have to go save my parents sanities from Mister Moneybags." He turned and walked two steps , only to almost collide with his father, who Tony had his right arm around, and Frigga was under his other arm.

"Don't worry about it. I'll pay for everything. You raised a good kid, and your future daughter-in-law's one Hell of a gal!"

There was a thump in the living room, indicating Clint had fallen off the couch, Loki went still and tried to conceal his internal screaming, and Darcy turned into Loki's shoulder to hide her own panic.

Loki turned to her. "Get us out of this! Now!"

Darcy moved her head so she was tucked against his chest and not back. "Aww, Tony, that's not necessary!"

"Yes it is…" Tony looked her up and down, trying to come up with a nickname for her that didn't involve her… assets. "Four Eyes, and I say that with love. Don't worry about it. Uncle Tony will handle all of it. Chin up." He gave her cheek a pat and continued walking with the Odinsons, but not before beckoning Erik over to join them on their quest.

"So what's the plan now?" Darcy asked after a moment.

"I can kill him," Clint offered. Loki was slightly alarmed when he realized the other man had brandished a butter knife from one of the drawers to solidify the threat. Clint shrugged off Loki's look of alarm. "Coulson likes me enough that I can get away with it."

Loki failed to hide a smile when Jarvis raised his eyebrows and pointed at Clint like he had a point. He pried the knife from Clint's hand. "As tempting as that is, it isn't gonna help."

"It would help us," Jarvis offered, earning a pinch on the ribs from Pepper.

"Alright, Plan B. Loki, I'm sorry."

"What-" Loki began, only to see and realize just what Plan B was as he caught her hand flying towards his face a second later.

Her hand connected with Loki's cheek so hard the sound echoed. Clint jumped, Pepper yelped, and Loki careened backward, eyes blown wide as he had been when he had first seen Darcy from his place on the floor.

"You bastard! How could you even say that?"

Tony manages to pivot and turn with the parents of the group to see what the commotion was about. He arched an eyebrow at the rest of the group in the kitchen. "Everything okay?"

"Uh, no, it's not! Loki just randomly decided to side with Thor! You know, I thought you liked Jane, you ass! I cannot believe you!" She shoved Loki again, and then stormed out of the house.

The remaining people just looked around awkwardly for a moment. Erik pointed at the door. "I really think I should… She'll be… Oh…!" He waved his hands and them dismissively and hurried after her.

"Darling, what happened?!" Frigga asked after a moment, hurrying over to Loki and cupping his cheek that was starting to sport a bright pink handprint.

"… Actually, I'm not really sure." Loki replied.

Frigga looked at the others, who looked as confused as he did.

There was a dead silence for a few moments, and then Pepper broke it. "Uh… tea or anything, anyone?"

* * *

Erik shut the entryway door firmly behind him and watched as Darcy scrambled around for her phone. "Uh… Darcy? Everything okay?"

"Everything's fine." Darcy replied, finally succeeding in her search.

"Darcy…" Erik advanced on her. "Come on. What kind of fool do you take me for?"

"I don't take you for a fool. I'm perfectly fine."

"And your fight with Loki?"

"Stupid stuff. He's a jerk."

"And you two are bad actors," Erik replied.

Darcy blinked at him. "No idea what you're talking about."

Erik snorted and leaned on the counter. "Come on, Darcy. You supposedly get engaged and you don't post anything on bookface-"

"Facebook,"

"-or don't go shouting it from the rooftops? No calls to me or your father? Give me more credit!"

Darcy's shoulders sagged. "Of course you know. You all get it but Loki's parents. This is bull."

Erik hummed in agreement, then nodded at the phone. "Giving your dad the fake news?"

"No. Re-apologizing to Loki and suggesting an icepack. I really didn't expect the slap to be that hard." Darcy deadpanned.

"Slab of meat works better," Erik cut in.

"Yeah, maybe fifty years ago," Darcy shot back.

Erik smiled and shook his head. "So, do you two plan on telling everyone the truth?"

"It's hardly 'everyone' anymore. It's just Loki's parents. My dad would probably know."

"So why can't he just tell them?" Erik replied. "They can't be that bad of people. They didn't seem it when we just about got kidnapped by Mister Stark."

"Yeah, sorry about that. Tony's a douche sometimes. I'm surprised with them being absorbed into our circle of friends Jarvis hasn't used us to kill him."

Erik chuckled again, then leaned back. "But seriously, what's so worrisome to Loki about his parents? They weren't- aren't abusive, are they?"

"No, not- well, like, five percent, if you count his dad being an overall jackass and putting Thor first and continuously putting Thor above Loki and giving Loki shit for… well, not being Thor. I just wanted to help him get the upper hand for once. He tries and tries, and no matter what, his dad never sees when his mom and Thor do. It sucks."

"Ah. So part of it's personal experience, then." Erik replied.

Darcy frowned at him. She hated when he got all psychological on her and played dad better than her dad did- and her dad was flawless. Her mom was the pain. "Yeah, I guess that's kinda it too, feeling for him with knowing how getting trumped by the other sibling by one parent is. I just… kinda hope it isn't resolved like our issue was with the giant screaming match, no talking for three days and then everything was fixed. He doesn't deserve that."

Erik bowed his head and laced his fingers together. "You really care about him, don't you?"

Darcy just hummed in acknowledgement, then glanced at her phone when it beeped. "Huh. Turns out Jarvis had your idea, then Pepper yelled at him about almost getting meat juice in his eye so they switched to an icepack. Everyone wins." She looked back at Erik, only to find him right next to her.

He pulled her into a hug. "Figured you could use one." He explained after a moment.

Darcy just about sagged against him. "My life sucks." She announced.

"Well, you're in good company there." Erik offered.

Jane came down the stairs a few moments later, grinning from ear to ear. She turned to get her keys, then spotted the pair. "What's going on?"

"Hush and get in here," Erik replied, moving one arm.

Jane blinked, went into the hug, then looked up. "So, seriously, what's going on?"

"Long, semi-bad day... or months, depending on the way you look at it." Darcy replied. "What has you so smiley?"

"Thor apologized and wants to talk the rest of this out somewhere away from all of you so we can have some moderate privacy."

"Awesome." Darcy replied, pulling her back into the hug. "Now no one move for a while. I was just freezing and now it's awesome and toasty in here. Thor can wait."

"No he-"

" _Shut it_ , Foster."

 


	21. Chapter 21

Loki was in Hell.

He and Darcy had just managed to pretend to mend their fight, and it was one big happy party again that was lasting far too long, but everything went downhill from there again.

One- Tony's head of security, Happy, had shown up two hours prior, literally kicking in the door and yelling nonsense in the process. He had claimed that the partygoers had taken Tony hostage and was not going to negotiate but things would be fine. Needless to say, the man was quite confused when he saw Tony relaxing on the couch, feet thrown up onto one of the ottomans with a glass of scotch in hand. He had all but mumbled an apology before retreating to a corner, still not convinced everyone's intentions with him were okay.

Two- Later, Tony had taken up ducking and hiding every so often from Frigga, who was attempting to reason with him that him paying for the wedding on his own would just not do, and Happy was getting antsy about his constant disappearances, despite Jarvis insisting it was okay.

Three- Logan, Steve and Wade had shown up. He didn't mind Logan, since Jarvis had called him in for Loki's moral support. Wade was the issue, having come because he and Logan were on location and he "smelled incoming drama" and wanted to check it out. Steve showed as back-up for Logan.

Four- Coulson, of all people, had shown up over a noise complaint issued by a neighbor, only to spot Steve and completely shut down. He forgot all about the complaint and was now watching the man from what was apparently his hiding spot in his own corner.

Five- His father was starting to mumble complaints about the food he and Thor had set out to appease everyone- food that Jane happened to make for them, and Jane also happened to be in earshot of his father complaining. She was looking more and more hurt by the moment.

Six- All of the excitement was wearing his patience down to nothing, and he knew he was about to snap- he just hoped it wasn't at the wrong person.

Seven- he was pretty sure he just heard something that sounded like a lightbulb explode and then Tony apologizing.

Eight- thanks to everyone and their brother showing up, Loki was fairly sure he didn't know half of the people currently in his house, and that was going to be a very, very serious problem eventually.

Someone was going to die that night. Loki figured if he was lucky, it would be him doing the dying. It would be a nice reprieve.

He was just starting to contemplate setting the place on fire and risking being in huge legal trouble with fines when Darcy approached him, immediately grabbing his arm in order to hit her head on it repeatedly. "We've got half our friends in the know trying not to tell the people not in the know, Tony's… trying to prove he's a genius by inventing everything under the sun a la McGuyver… we picked one Hell of a circle of friends to bring to the family, huh?"

"Oh, the best."

The pair let a silence pass, and Darcy started formulating a plan in her head. After a few moments, she started realizing how dumb it really was and what Loki would probably say about it. She started chewing her lip and bouncing on the balls of her feet absentmindedly.

Loki looked her up and down and arched an eyebrow. "I know that twitch. You're planning something. What the Hell are you about to get us into?"

Darcy pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest, arching her own eyebrow.

Loki sighed. "I'm sorry. What's the plan?"

Darcy hesitated, then shrugged. "Well, what if we actually go through with this? I mean, we're not the first best friends to do it, right? What harm could it do to eliminate all the romantic mumbo jumbo, huh?"

Loki frowned. "Darce, where's the point? It's… I just don't lying to them- lying to  _my mother_  like this, and… even if… we've been over this. I don't want to hurt her."

"How's it hurting her if it works? All it is is a fancy ceremony and some awesome-ass gifts eventually."

"… It's a little different with my family," Loki replied. "You see, they know."

"So then it's just me that you have a problem with?" Darcy countered.

Loki gawked at her. "What- Darcy- no! Look, if it was any bloody person that I'd go through this with, it's you, but… … if you knew my family you'd understand. It's… marriage is a big to-do in my family, and if the caught wind that this wasn't one hundred percent genuine… I've told you most of this before. I've been the disappointment plenty, I don't want to be it again."

Darcy sighed, then hopped off the countertop. "You know, sometime you're gonna learn that you can't win 'em all, and there are some people out there who actually want you to make your parents happy and are gonna try to help you with that, but you know what? You have to let them first." She hurried off down the hallway.

Loki watched her leave, jaw dropped firmly for a while. "Dar- wha- I- Darcy!" He called. "What the Hell have I done this time?!" He looked around helplessly, stopping short when he saw Coulson and Steve watching him from the other corner of the room. "What?"

"You're an idiot," Coulson deadpanned before motioning at Steve for them to go back into the living room. Steve offered an apologetic smile in Loki's direction before following through.

Loki glared at Coulson's retreating back before Jarvis sauntered over, also having seen the whole thing."

"You need to go after her," Jarvis insisted, and Logan nodded in agreement.

"Well, what the Hell can I say after… that?" Loki demanded, waving his arms in the process. "What the Hell was that? Is it… her, time, or something? That was uncalled for."

Jarvis clenched his jaw, then finally broke. "I can't take this anymore- she fancies you, and shame on your for not picking up on it the way you are with her. You need to go after her and talk things about before this gets ugly."

"What gets ugly? You do something to Darce?"

Loki wanted to groan when Logan popped up from around the corner. He really didn't need the other man's input now, but apparently he was going to give it anyway. And why was he on Darcy's side?!

"Look, do you love her or not?" Jarvis cut in.

Loki looked at Logan for support, but he merely shrugged in response. "… … I, I don't know, eventually, maybe? Oh, who the Hell am I kidding? Yes. Yes I bloody do and I've just blown it by being an ass."

"How the Hell were you supposed to know?" Logan countered.

"Not exactly true, I thought she was being anything but secretive of it," Jarvis pointed out.

The other two frowned at him.

"She… might have made a drunken confession to me when you two were slightly on the outs," Jarvis admitted, then shook his head. "Look, you two are mad for each other, go after her. If you don't at least try, you'll regret it… or watch her fall for another man."

"Personal experience?" Logan asked.

"Pepper," Jarvis deadpanned.

"Ooooh," Logan nodded, taking a swig of his beer.

Of course, it was that moment that he and Loki had noticed Pepper in the archway, now gawking at Jarvis. Loki tensed and looked at him, and Logan took another swig.

Jarvis looked at them then frowned. "She's behind me, isn't she?"

"More to your right then behind you, but that doesn't change the fact she heard it," Loki replied.

Jarvis coughed and glanced at his watch. "Oh, look, I think I have to pick up Eugene and that Devon Umbridge fellow right about now, I totally forgot about that," he got up and without bothering to look at Pepper, made for the back door.

Pepper snapped out of her daze enough when he did so. "I- James! I- I try to check on Loki when I see you boys like that and I hear that?! You can't leave !" She hurried after him, standing in the doorway once he made his escape. "I- Jarvis!... … James?! … … … JAMES EDWIN JARVIS YOU GET BACK HERE AND FACE ME  _THIS INSTANT_!" She took her high heels off and ran outside.

Loki and Logan stared at them before turning back to each other. "Man down," Logan muttered.

"He'll survive… maybe with a heel imprint or two, but he will," Loki replied. "Me, on the other hand…"

"Just go for it. If it works, it works. If it doesn't, you'll be back to prank wars and being best friends seconds later."

Loki sighed. "She's too good for me,"

"Kayla was too good for me. Our happy marriage and two kids later, here I am," Logan countered.

Loki frowned. "But-"

"Hey, Loke, can I talk to you?"

Loki turned around and tried to smile at Darcy weekly. "Sure…?" He let her lead the way outside, stopping momentarily to notice that Jarvis and Pepper were nowhere to be seen. He hoped both of them were calmly talking things out and had gone a fair bit away for privacy, but at the same time, he knew it could go any way. "So, what..?"

"Look, I know that was kinda much, but really I'm just trying to be an awesome friend here, and… well, I…"

Loki stared at her for a long while, losing all of what she was struggling to say in the process. She was looking out for him. That was all. She cared and she was doing all this for him. His heart clenched. And then made his decision. He wasn't going to talk his way in or out of this one. She didn't deserve that skill being used on her. He wasn't his father's son. And so without another thought, he yanked her forward and kissed her.

Darcy yelped into it before all but collapsing against him, perfectly content with the outcome.

After a few moments, Loki pulled back. "Look, I'm sorry about that and I swear I had that all planned diff-"

"Screw talking. Here, now, Idiot!" Darcy yanked him back down for another kiss and was all hands up until both of them heard Wade wolf whistle from one of the windows and call for them to get a room. Darcy waggled her eyebrows at Loki, almost willing to go with it, but Loki merely pulled her back towards the house, where he was pretty sure Tony had just made something else explode… … again.

Halfway across the house, Thor was reluctantly fishing out a ten dollar bill from his wallet and handing it over to Jane. "Should've known,"

Jane nodded, beaming as she took the money from him. "We totally started that. It always works. Have one couple get into an argument that doesn't help two friends that're connected to them, they bond over being annoyed about that, voila. We totally nailed it."

"Must've been the fake tears and screeching at me," Thor supplied.

"My acting stinks. Besides, who could ever really be mad at you?" Jane asked.

Thor beamed, then offered his hand. "Come on. Let's go see how they're mentally progressing after that."

"Sounds good to me."

 


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: I am soooo sorry for the wait. Once again, school kicked my ass. I literally felt like I last updated like, a month ago, and then when I checked, yeah, six months is not two months. Also, the chapter I leave you with here is short as Hell, but it’s more of an “I’m still alive”/Intro to the next chapter, so hopefully you can forgive me. 

 

Jarvis glanced away from the row of spices that he had been looking over when he heard Logan mumble something from behind him and Loki had a similar sounding response.

Tony had invited them all for Christmas dinner, and as most of them had expected, it had gone terribly, terribly wrong. The man had introduced one of his latest projects: a suit of armor that would help him with various building projects and repairs on the projects.  He had fired up the lasers in its hands and within seconds half the kitchen and dining room were two feet shorter.

But Tony, of course, refused to cancel the party and merely relocated it to one of the penthouse-turned-dance hall in one of his buildings, so the show was still on.

“You two aren’t just going to stand there the entire time, are you? I need some semblance of help,” he pointed out.

“We’re helping, don’t worry. We just… don’t… particularly want to. And are questioning why we made the guest list,” Loki admitted.

Logan arched an eyebrow and nodded.

“At least your entire family and your brothers friends weren’t invited.”

“At least Clint’s decent… and your mom,” Logan offered.

Loki shrugged in agreement. “You sure you don’t need any help with the cooking part of this?”

“No. My sister and brother-in-law are coming to enjoy and help with the cooking, and once we’re together we’re like machines,” Jarvis replied. “But, you’re far welcome to volunteer with one of these,” he added, reaching behind him into the cart to hand them =.

Logan took it. “Horse-drawn carriage… Stark Tech demonstration –clay pigeons, film, blah blah blah… tree re-lighting… dog adoption? Holy shit, he goes all out.”

“’Spare no expense to be the best’,” Jarvis recited.

“You tell us where to go, we’ll help out,” Logan replied, patting him on the back. “I’d bet the girls are gonna be all over the dog thing.”

“Oh yes,”

2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B 2B

Loki looked over at Thor as the man paced across the living room for the twentieth time that day. “You’re going to ruin the vacuuming job I did an hour ago, you know,” he announced, setting his book down.

“Then redo it later. It will only take minutes.”

Loki stopped reading and sighed dramatically. He wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction. He wasn’t going to give- damn it. “Fine then, what has you in such a tizzy?”

“I… think I’m going to propose to Jane on Christmas. I’ve been thinking about it for a while after Clint and Bobbi had their moment, and… I think it needs to be done.”

Loki almost dropped his book this time. Him? Propose? Be mature? No. “I… what brought this about?”

“I was just thinking… it’s… I’ve never met someone like her before.”

Loki squinted and looked to the side, remembering several times he had heard that- two of them being exactly like Jane. He opened his mouth.

Thor caught the look and put his hand up. “This time I’m serious. I… she’s… always been different than the rest, and… I love her, and I think we can better together, so that’s the next step.”

“And are you sure our wonderful father will approve of this?”

“Unlike you I really don’t care what he thinks. Jane’s in our lives- in mine, not his, and that’s that,” Thor replied.

Loki flinched initially as if stung at the first words. But as Thor continued, he realized he had a point. “Well then, if you were looking for your younger brother’s blessing, you have it.”

Thor grinned and grabbed Loki by the biceps. “Thank you. It means something. It really does. Now, I’ve asked Erik, I’ve run it by you… she claims her family isn’t… exactly in the picture… should I run it by Darcy was well?”

“If you want to lose hearing from her screaming about it, sure,” Loki replied.

Thor let out a bark of laughter, then sat back down. “I mean, she is her sister for all intents and purposes, is she not?”

“I suppose.”

“Good. Then do me a favor and come with me.”

“Oh, I suppose it couldn’t hurt. I just hope she’s a little more welcoming than you.”

THOR THOR THOR THOR THOR

Sure enough, within a couple of hours, Thor had broken the news to Darcy, with Loki at his side.

The young woman, as expected, let out an inhuman screech and gripped Loki’s arm in a vicegrip before pointing at Thor repeatedly. “They’re gonna get maaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiieeeeddd!”

“Possibly. She still has to say ‘yes’ first,” Thor broke into a smile.

“Oh, she’s totally saying yes,” Darcy replied, then paused. “Hold on. Didn’t you two like, hate each other a couple of weeks ago?”

Thor coughed, then shrugged. “Well, couples fight. It’s what they do,”

“Fair enough. Can I help plan everything?” Darcy asked.

“Of course,” Thor nodded.

“Awesome. Now we just have to figure out how to make your wedding all sciency without being tacky… seriously dude, you’re all set,” she nodded.

“Oh? And how’s that?”

“Well, now you have a planner, I can imagine all of the wedding party already, Tony can hook you guys up with venues for the reception, and the best man and maid of honor are just short of screwing anyway, so we all win!”

Loki went red and coughed again, figuring out just who she meant from that last bit. Then again, she made no attempt at hiding it, did she? But then the rest of it sunk in and he looked curiously at Thor, who looked just as momentarily uncomfortable as he did.

However, his older brother recovered quickly. “Come on. You really think I’m not going to have my little brother be my best man.”

Loki blinked, then smiled weakly before it turned into a frown, then back. “Well, I assumed Clint, or ‘Stag, or Andy…” He felt  worse as he saw Thor look progressively more and more hurt as he rambled on. “Ahem… can we… delay this talk until after the woman’s said ‘yes’? I doubt she’d appreciate all of this being planned ahead of time and she feels forced into it because of all of our efforts.”

Thor paused, then offered another unsure grin. Loki knew it was at his own mood change rather than his request. “I guess that would be best, wouldn’t it?”

“Duh,” Darcy nodded.

Thor laughed, then looked at her. “Look, I came to ask your blessing. I need your word that you won’t go and blab all of this to Jane.”

Darcy raised her hand, then pressed her pinky to her thumb so her pointer, middle and ring finger were up. “Scout’s honor. Not a word. You fail to know that I’ve been in this spot before and even if the suspense kills me, my lips are sealed, Handsome.”

Thor beamed, then pulled her forward and kissed her forehead.

“So, like, if this goes down, you guys are totally naming your first daughter after me, right? I mean, Darla’s kind of cool anyway, but-“

“Darcy!” the two others groaned.

“… It was worth a shot. So, let me see what the rock looks like!”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that hopeful update time crashed and burned. Sorry. Senior year workload murdered me, and then I couldn't get my muse back in gear for ages after that. Then I saw a post where someone was looking for this fic and I felt really bad I didn't work on it in ages, so here we are. Anyway, well, here's the unintentional Christmas-That's-Barely-Christmas in July chapter. Sorry about the shortness, too. Anyway, enjoy.

Jarvis glanced at Darcy as she bounced up and down excitedly in her chair, looking around from the ground floor below them to the other patio across from the one she, Jarvis and Loki were sitting on. Two days prior, Tony had invited the group to his annual Christmas /”Whatever Floats Your Boat” Party, and they had all agreed for Thor and Jane’s sake.  He had been let in on the news by Thor since he had faith the man could be trusted, and he was just about the only one who wasn’t about to give the man’s plans away for being antsy. “Easy, Girl. They’re around.”

“But I don’t wanna miss the _Thing!_ ” she insisted.

“They’re entitled to go off on their own if it’s a proposal, Darce,” Loki pointed out.

“Uh, no, I have been her hired help and abused little sister for years now. I’m kicking Thor where it counts and slapping Jane if I miss seeing it, and you guys can’t stop me.” She jabbed a finger in each of their directions, then got up. “I’m gonna go find them. You boys in?”

“And by ‘find’ you mean go invade their privacy and possibly ruin Thor’s timing?” Jarvis asked.

“Well, you’re kinda third wheeling and invading _our_ privacy, aren’t you?” Darcy countered, looking to Loki, then back to Jarvis. She crossed her arms over her chest and raised an expectant eyebrow.

Jarvis gaped at her after a moment, then looked at Loki. He went to stand, but Loki grabbed his arm to keep him down. “It’s fi-“

Darcy laughed. “Oh my God, J, I was kidding.  Man, you are all whipped no matter what my relationship is with you,” she shook her head. “It’s the girls, isn’t it?” she pointedly looked at her chest and grinned before looking back at them.

Both men groaned and pivoted away from her.

She scoffed. “Rude. Now come on. I need my handsome escorts to come with me just in case J’s right and we have bad timing.”

“Oh, ‘just in case’.” Jarvis scoffed, but let her take his hand and pull him to his feet with Loki.

Loki groaned and tossed his head back. “Look, I really don’t feel like going hunting for something that’s going to start another way of how Thor’s going to beat-“

“You do realize she’s gone?” Jarvis pointed out after a moment.

Loki lowered his head and looked around. He spotted Darcy already halfway down the stairs.  “… If this prompts her trying to get engaged...”

“Again?” Jarvis countered.

Loki shot him a warning look, but gave up after a couple of moments and laughed. “I suppose I deserve that.”

“You do. Now, let’s go catch up to her before she finds them and ruins his timing…”

“If he even commits,” Loki deadpanned, then paused. “Wait, do you really think that could work?”

“No!” Jarvis insisted before all but shoving him towards the stairs.

Loki reluctantly went down the stairs and nodded a greeting at Clint and Bobbi upon seeing them in the crowd. 

Clint waved back before he grabbed Bobbi’s hand and maneuvered over. “We didn’t miss it, did we?”

“You’re aware too?”

“Uh, duh,  who do you think the best man’ll be?

“Behave, you two. Clint, don’t start anything.”

“But he’s such an easy target!” Clint objected.

Darcy stuck his tongue out at him, then grabbed Loki’s hand. “Come on…”

“I’m not dancing,” Loki objected.

“I know, dude. That’s why we’re going to go see Tony blow shit up with his new… suit… arm… things. He told us it starts in like, five minutes.  It’s your damn job, you should be out there helping.”

Jarvis, on the other hand, was not at all thrilled with the development. “He’s using that again even after he nearly reduced this place to ashes?!”

“It’s outside,” Darcy replied.

Jarvis all but growled and headed for the door a crowd was gathering by.

“You coming with us, J?” Darcy asked.

“No, I’m going to kill him before Pepper has the chance,” Jarvis replied.

“No! NO MURDER TODAY!” Darcy objected. She ran after him. “Come- oh, you know what? It worked for Pepper, it better work for me. JAMES EDWIN JARVIS GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!” When it didn’t work, she ran after him.

Loki sighed deeply and spotted a glass of untouched white wine and took a swig before he followed after them.

* * *

 

Her attempt didn’t work, but neither did Jarvis’ attempt at stopping Tony.

To their own surprise, the test turned out to be a fireworks show, where Tony had crafted his own fireworks that fired out of the mitts he had built. Loki had been torn between cursing the man as a showoff and being completely enthralled about just how he had made the mitts and how they worked.

The rest of the demonstration went off without a hitch, and when the end came, Tony was swarmed by a pack of scientists that had been in the crowd, leaving Jarvis and Pepper to return to Darcy and the others. Pepper led them to the kitchen to get them away from most of the crowd. They made small talk until Darcy had demanded that they all go hunting for Thor and Jane again. Fandral, Hogun, Sif and Volstagg joined them a few minutes in.

“You know, maybe they don’t want to be found…” Fandral pointed out. “If you’ve been at this almost all night, you know, they may just be off… alone,” he offered with a cheeky grin and elbowed Sif for his trouble.

Sif merely shoved him in return before shrugged. “He’s got a point… unfortunately.”

“Well then, it’ll all be awkward and fun,” Darcy replied. “Come on, let’s try the main patio.”

The rest shuffled after her.

* * *

 

Darcy’s hunch ended up being right for once. She was barely a few feet outside on the second floor balcony before she spotted them on the patio below, alone, with Thor grinning like a loon but still shifting uneasily, and Jane jabbering away.

“Oh. My. God. Guys, guys! They’re here! I think it’s happening!” Darcy hissed. She motioned at them to come out onto the balcony.

They all scrambled over, trying desperately to get as close to the edge as possible without trying to be detected, trying to hear the events below.

“And…  you really are part of the light of my life here, and… I need to make sure I have that from here on in… so…”

Jane, to her credit had already caught on to what was coming and was just about hyperventilating already, all but choked on air when he got down on one knee.

“So… will you do the best honor you can do me and be my wife?”

Jane laughed nervously. Her hand shot to her mouth and gaped for a few moments.

“Oh. My. God,” Darcy sighed heavily. “SAY YES, YOU STUPID BITCH!” she yelled and slammed her hand down on the railing for good measure. When Thor and Jane’s heads shot up to see where the noise she had come from, she caught her error and clapped her own hand over her mouth before she threw caution to the wind. “Oh, heh, heeeeyyy guys!  Not that I don’t love you, but uhhh- oh just answer him already!”

Thor and Jane laughed before turning back to each other. Thor offered a raised eyebrow and a weak smile.

After another bout of nervous laughter, Jane exhaled sharply. “Yes,”

“Yes?” Thor beamed.

“Yes!” she nodded before she grinned and jumped to hug him.

Darcy led with the cheers- or, in Loki’s case, a tight, controlled smile, then the group jumped when there was an explosion from above them. They looked up to find a firework had gone off, and then Tony laughed from his spot in the back of the crowd. They looked expectantly at him and frowned.

Tony saw the attention and shrugged. “What? Figured I’d… make it a little more special if it happened at my place. And come ooonnn, I had to test the party one if the actual one… didn’t… exactly work out.”

Clint snorted and turned back to the couple. Upon seeing that they were still hugging, he rolled his eyes. “Kiss her!” he barked. He chuckled when Darcy reached behind her to offer him her fist and bumped it with his own. They both peeked over the railing to see Clint’s request had been listened to.

Darcy turned around and hooked an arm around Clint’s shoulders.

“Alright, everyone! Clear out! Let’s leave the lovebirds alone!”

“Oh, now you want to leave them?” Jarvis teased.

Darcy threw her free arm around his shoulders. “Weeelll, now that we’ve seen it and we haven’t missed it and I put my two cents in, we’re good.”

“You, my dear, are incorrigible,” Jarvis replied.

“And don’t you know it,” Darcy replied.

A few feet ahead, Tony all but threw open the doors into the house. “Everyone, I need your attention! Because I am a great friend to my… friends, and because my parties inspire the best in people…  we have Mister Thor Odinson and the soon to be Mrs. Thor Odinson A.K.A  Jane Foster… more or less under this roof! They’re having a moment in right now, but they’ll be back inside, and I highly suggest you all congratulate them when they get back in here!”

More applause started up and Tony grinned ear-to-ear before heading downstairs to the party below.

Loki shook his head. “It’s always about him…”

Darcy scoffed and untangled herself from Jarvis and Clint to drop back over to him. “He means well,”

“I suppose,” Loki shrugged. “Now… you do realize that Jane’s going to become a bridezilla and you’re  probably going to be one of the main people encountering that, don’t you?”

“Wow, dick,” Darcy countered.

“It’s true though, is it not?” Loki replied.

Darcy paused, then nodded. “Yeah. Didn’t think that far ahead.”

“Have fun with that,”

“Well, yoouuuu can have fun trying to fight over who gets to be best man with Clint, Andy, Stag and Gun,” she jabbed him in the chest with a finger, then grinned. “… Bet ya a hundred bucks that one of you and your guys come to blows over best man stuff before Jane has her first pre-wedding breakdown.”

“I will most definitely take that action, Darling.”

“Oh, you better. ‘Cause you’re gonna lose.”

“Dream on.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaahh, as an afternote, I'm going to be brutally honest with admitting I've lost steam for this fic/my muse is barely alive, so I make no promises with updating times, but I will say I probably only have a handful of new chapters in me for this unless someone wants to help me with it a bit. I appreciate you guys being so patient in the meantime. Keep on being awesome.


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